


a broken leg leads to a broken heart

by Fanfiction_King, trixie_moon



Series: Five times Haru hurt Hiro, and the one time Hiro hurt Haru [1]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: #ProtectTheTwinsFromTrix&Ellie2k20, ALL THE GAY, Adopted Children, All the OCs - Freeform, Alternate Universe - Post-Canon, Angst with a Happy Ending, Arguing, Bear is Best Girl, Biromantic Asexual Kuroo Sachi, Bisexual Bokuto Kaito, Bisexual Miya Atsumu, Bisexual Miya Osamu, Bokuto Kaito Has ADHD, Bokuto Koutarou Has ADHD, Broken Bones, Cheeto is Best Girl, Chef Miya Osamu, Chemistry Professor Kuroo Tetsurou, Children of Characters, Cookies, Cultural Researcher and Professor Fujiwara Daisuke, Daisuke and Emiko are twins, Demiromantic Asexual Miya Haruhiro, Emi is five minutes older but 5+ inches shorter, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Exactly What It Says on the Tin, F/M, Falsettos References, Family Drama, Family Feels, Family Fluff, Fashion Designer Fujiwara Emiko, Fluff and Angst, Fujiwara Aito is a Little Shit, Fujiwara Himari and Fujiwara Yua are Twins, Gay Miya Hiroaki, Gen, Homoromantic Asexual Fujiwara Daisuke, Hospitalization, Hospitals, Hurt/Comfort, Idiots in Love, M/M, Major Character Injury, Major Original Character(s), Mean Girls Quotes, Mean Girls References, Mentioned Kozume Kenma, Mentioned Tendou Satori, Mentioned Tendou Satoru, Mentions of oya, Middle Blocker Miya Hiroaki, Minecraft, Minor Kozume Kenma/Kuroo Tetsurou, Misunderstandings, Miya Atsumu is a Little Shit, Miya Haruhiro is Bad at Feelings, Miya Hiroaki Has Depression, Miya Hiroaki and Miya Haruhiro are Twins, Miya Hiroaki is Bad at Feelings, Miya Hiroaki is a Little Shit, Miya Hiroaki is an Asshole, Miya Hitoshi is Baby, Multi, Mutual Pining, Nekoma, Nekoma is full of dumb gays, Nicknames, Oya - Freeform, Panic Attacks, Pro Volleyball Player Bokuto Koutarou, Pro Volleyball Player Miya Atsumu, Pro Volleyball Player Sakusa Kiyoomi, Setter Miya Haruhiro, Short People Rights, Slow Burn, Song: I'm Breaking Down (Falsettos), Supportive Miya Osamu, Tags Are Fun, Tags Are Hard, There’s a lot of chaos, This is way post canon, Volleyball Dorks in Love, Wing Spiker Bokuto Kaito, a lot of it, about 14 years post canon, all the stupid, and talking!!!, continued breakdowns and panic attacks, haru has issues, healing!!, hiro is stupid, hiro needs to shut up, hiro shut up, mentions of super smash, much more about mental recovery than physical, nekoma 2.0 are a bunch of gay disasters, oya oya, oya oya oya, pls, someone please get them therapy, song in question - "stop", the authors regret nothing, the fujiwaras are not, the miyas are a mess, the moral of the story? COMMUNICATE, they're healing!!, theyre finally canon!!, this gets very whumpy, tho in his case it’s ~trauma~, usually the angsty variety, volleyball dorks, we love mean girls the musical, which is v fitting, who is unfortunately just as chaotic as his father, who likes to embarrass his kids, yay for shitty exes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-16
Updated: 2020-12-10
Packaged: 2021-03-04 18:55:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 17
Words: 47,325
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25201285
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fanfiction_King/pseuds/Fanfiction_King, https://archiveofourown.org/users/trixie_moon/pseuds/trixie_moon
Summary: Miya Atsumu's twin sons are fucking dumb and get hurtORThis has gone too far. Hiro’s hurt and Haru is to blame. At least that’s what he says. Hiro disagrees. He’s hurt, yes, but it’s his own fault. Through a series of miscommunications and blame cycles, the twins inch closer and closer to the brink of total collapse. But what will happen if neither is willing to apologize?
Relationships: Bokuto Kaito/Miya Hiroaki, Fujiwara Daisuke/Miya Osamu, Fujiwara Emiko & Fujiwara Daisuke, Fujiwara Emiko/Miya Atsumu, Kaito/Hiro, Kuroo Sachi/Yaku Misha, Miya Atsumu & MSBY Black Jackals, Miya Atsumu & Miya Osamu, Miya Atsumu & Sakusa Kiyoomi, Miya Atsumu/Fujiwara Emiko, Miya Atsumu/Original Female Character(s), Miya Haruhiro & Ushijima Sora, Miya Hiroaki & Miya Haruhiro, Miya Hiroaki & Suzuki Naomasa, Miya Osamu/Fujiwara Daisuke, Miya Osamu/Original Male Character(s), Nawagata Jirou/Suzukawa Tenshin, Original Character/Original Character
Series: Five times Haru hurt Hiro, and the one time Hiro hurt Haru [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1825648
Comments: 58
Kudos: 43
Collections: Creative Chaos Discord Recs





	1. The Incident

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Fanfiction_King](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fanfiction_King/gifts).

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Incident, or Haru really needs to learn to shut the fuck up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to @Louie_writes, @MangaManiac, and @TsukkiNoNeko for beta reading
> 
> Thanks to @Fanfiction_King for being the best co-writer.
> 
> Without further ado, I give you all a warning. 
> 
> You will suffer, but it will all be worth it in the end.

“Come _on,_ Hiro,” whined Haru. “Aren’t you going to keep going?”

Hiro looked up at his twin, who was climbing the ladder to their balcony between their bedrooms. 

“No,” he mumbled, shoving his hands into the pockets of his black shorts, matching his twin’s perfectly, “I don’t think that’s safe, Haru,”

“Tch,” snorted Haru dismissively as he climbed up. “Yeah it is. We’ve jumped off stuff higher than this.” Reaching the balcony, the brunet boy jumped off and landed on the trampoline with a whoop. “Come _on_ already, Hiro.” 

Haru was already scrambling up the ladder to jump down once more. Hiro sighed and followed him up. “So...are you gonna do it or back out _again?_ ” 

Hiro stayed quiet.

“Oh, come _on,_ Hiro. You’re not chicken shit, are you?”

Hiro glared at his twin over the top of his glasses.

“Chicken shit,”

Hiro glared harder, flicking back his black bangs. “Shut up, Haru,”

“Then do it, Hiro!”

“That’s not safe! One of us could get hurt!”

“I did it and I was fine, you’ll be fine. You’re just a coward.” 

"I'm not a coward...” muttered Hiro.  
“You totally are, we've jumped off taller shit before. Stop being such a little bitch and do it!"

“I said no, Haru!”

“Chicken shit! And if Kaito was here, he’d totally do it, too. And you’re not?”

“Kaito’s not here, he’s with Akaashi-san,” said Hiro. 

But Haru could tell he was swiftly crumbling. _Jackpot._

“Kaito would never date a coward like you, I don't see why you try." sneered Haru. _There it is, that flame._

Hiroaki had finally had enough. He stood up, took a deep breath and said, “Fine, I’ll do it,” 

He climbed up the ladder, slow and deliberate, as if he was teasing his brother with every movement. Reaching the same spot Haru had jumped from, Hiro jumped off the roof, landing hard on the trampoline. But instead of bouncing up again like before, he bounced and fell. 

Then, a scream.

Haruhiro wasn’t sure who screamed first. 

He scrambled down to the ground as fast as he could, running to Hiro’s prone body on the grass. “Hey,” he said, scanning his brother worriedly, hands shaking. “Did you hit your head?”

“N-no,” blubbered Hiro. “B-but I think there’s something wrong with my leg. It hurts, it really really hurts, Haru.”

Haru frowned as he looked down. Hiro’s right leg was bleeding from a few scrapes, and he was sure something else was wrong, though he wasn’t sure what. _Worry about that later._

“Can you walk?” he asked.

“No,” said Hiro, whose voice was quickly rising in pitch. Tears were already starting to pool in his soft grey eyes. “It hurts, Haru.”

Haru looked around, grayish brown eyes flickering back and forth, making sure he could carry Hiro inside the house without falling on something in the yard. “I’ll carry you,” he said. “I need to clean off those scrapes first,”

He picked up Hiro, who curled into his maroon hoodie, and hurried to the bathroom, where he set Hiro down on the toilet and opened the tap. “I need to clean off the blood first,” he said, carefully wiping away the bloody scrapes under the water. They were luckily very thin, but bled profusely. _They’re like paper cuts. He’ll be fine. He has to be._

But the cloths were tinged pink and Haru tried not to think about it too much, lest he throw up as Hiro sniffled next to him. That would have made everything worse. _One step at a time. Next step, call Dad._

Pulling out his phone, Haru quickly dialed his father’s number. Once Atsumu picked up, Haru asked, “Dad, can you come home?" 

“Why?” replied Atsumu, voice slightly muffled. “I'm in the middle of running errands for your mom, she'll kill me if they're not done. You guys fed Bear her breakfast, and I know we aren’t out of dog food for her. Your little brother is at Osamu’s as well, so I don’t see what the problem is," 

“Just.. please come home, I'll explain later,” said Haru. 

Atsumu sighed. “Yeah, sure. Whatever. I'll be home soon.”

He hung up. 

“I- I want Dad…” cried Hiro softly, burying his face into _his_ blue hoodie as Haru carried him to the grey downstairs sofa. Their dog, Bear, was napping on it and Hiro hugged her as he cried. 

Haru frowned, rubbing his brother’s back to calm him down. “I know you do, Hiro. He's on his way, he'll be here soon, and we'll get you to the hospital... I promise. I’m sorry...I’m so sorry,”

Clearly, Miya Atsumu’s definition of “soon” was faster than Haru expected. He could hear a car careening into their driveway already, and it hadn’t even been ten minutes since he’d called. 

“Dad’s here,” breathed Haru. “You’re gonna be okay, Hiro.”

The door flew open, and Atsumu rushed inside, blond hair windswept, and sweater and jeans rumpled. Bear didn’t even wake up at the ruckus “What happened?!” he asked frantically, looking less like a professional volleyball player and much more like a worried father. 

Haru bit his lip. “Dad, I know I fucked up. Yell at me later. Hiro says his leg really hurts and I...saw white when I cleaned it.”

"I- fine call your mother while I grab Hiro, get in the car," 

Haru didn’t hesitate. He snatched his and Hiro’s phones and scrambled into the window seat on the far side of Atsumu’s Subaru. Pulling out his phone, he dialed Fujiwara Emiko’s number. _Please pick up, Mom._ The chime sounded, and a woman’s lilting voice came through. “Haru? What are you calling me for? You know I’m busy right now.”

“I—Dad told me to call you, we’re going to the hospital,”

“Again? Haru, you didn’t hurt yourself again, did you? Or is it Atsumu? Oh God, please tell me it’s not Toshi,”

“No...no. Toshi’s fine, he’s with Aito,” he said. “Just...come. Please?”

“All right. It’ll take me a while, but the next train leaves in 10 minutes, and I’ll get on it. I’ll still be an hour or two, depending, but I’ll get there as soon as I can. Tell Atsumu to call me back. Love you,”

“Love you too,” said Haru quietly, hanging up. 

Atsumu returned, sliding Hiro into the backseat next to Haru. He was paler than usual and crying quietly, seeking comfort from his twin. Atsumu sat in the driver’s seat, frowning at Haru in the rearview mirror as he drove to the hospital. “Dad, please. I know you want answers, but just wait. I don’t want to upset Hiro and I really don’t want to repeat myself either. I’ll tell you, I swear, but it’ll be when Mom gets there,” he said. 

Atsumu nodded and kept driving.

Hiro whined into his brother’s arms, and Haru sighed. He kept hearing that scream. That guttural sound, like someone was ripping something apart in a horror movie. Only it wasn’t a horror movie. It was reality. And it was all Haru’s fault. _I’m the younger twin, I should be the one getting hurt, not Hiro...It’s all my fault he’s hurt_.

As soon as Atsumu pulled into the parking space at the hospital, Haru didn’t even wait for the car to turn off to get out. He yanked off his seatbelt, kicking the door open. “I’ll go get a nurse,” he said. Atsumu nodded, opening his door and going around to carry Hiro.

Haru ran ahead, thoughts flying a mile a minute. He skidded to a stop inside. The receptionist looked up at Haru, and it relieved him to recognize her. After quickly explaining everything, she told them to wait while she got a nurse to come and meet Haru. 

“Ah, Miya-san, hello,” said Matsumoto Yukio, walking out of the hall. Haru sighed with relief, glad to see the bubbly redheaded nurse. 

“H-hi, Matsumoto-san,” said Haru, quite out of breath. “Um...Dad’s bringing in Hiro,”

“Oh? What happened?” he asked curiously, very familiar with the Miya family shenanigans that made them frequent visitors to the hospital.

“Uh, I’d rather not explain...it’s easier if you come and see,”

Yukio was rather confused but stood up when Atsumu hurried inside with Hiro in his arms. Hiro’s arms were wrapped limply around Atsumu’s neck. Yukio took a deep breath through his teeth and led them down the hall to one of the empty rooms. 

Atsumu carefully set Hiro down on the bed so Yukio could check his vitals. Though he was used to it, Hiro whined when he was jostled. “Sorry, Hiro, you know the drill,” said Yukio apologetically. He straightened up and pulled Atsumu outside, sliding the door shut behind him.

The room was silent except for Hiro’s sniffles as he tried to sleep, leaving Haru alone with his thoughts. But for Haru, it was all but silent. He kept hearing that scream. Over and over again. He was feeling more nauseous by the second. _Don’t fucking puke, Haru_.

But predictably, his body didn’t listen. Haru scrambled out of his chair, barreling into the bathroom to throw up. The retches echoed in the bathroom as Haru’s stomach took delight in emptying itself into the toilet. Spitting up the last of his breakfast, Haru wiped his mouth and gagged at the stench of vomit. He washed his hands, trying to calm his racing heartbeat.

Hiro sat up in the bed, casting his brother a questioning glance and softly asking, “Haru...? Why are you...did you puke? It stinks,”

Spitting out some water into the sink, Haru said, “I’m fine, Hiro,”

“N-no you’re not,” stammered Hiro. “Are you okay?”

“I said _I’m fine,_ Hiro!” replied Haru curtly, well aware his stomach was still messing with him. 

Atsumu and Yukio walked back into the room. Atsumu was frowning and sat down next to Hiro. Hiro was curled up, trying to sleep with his head in Atsumu’s lap. Yukio looked at Hiro sadly. “We’ll need to take some X-rays of Hiro’s leg, but he’ll need to be awake for them.” he said.

Haru could hear everything Yukio was saying, and another wave of shame and nausea rolled over him. He dashed back to the toilet and let himself be taken over by the unpleasant feeling, vomiting into the toilet once more.

Just outside, Atsumu was encouraging Hiro to stay awake for the X-rays. Haru could hear all of it. 

“Come on Hiro, you have to let them look at you." he said gently.

"N-no... I.. no", cried Hiro. He hated hospital visits. And now, it was Haru’s fault that he had to endure another painful one. 

_Why’d I have to be a dick?_

He quietly slipped out and sat in the corner, pulling up his hoodie and curling into himself.

* * *

“Hiro...please?” Atsumu pleaded, looking at Hiro. “I can’t fix it, but they _can_. I’m not going anywhere, I’ll stay right here. But you need to let them touch you, okay? I won’t let go, I promise.”

Hiro whined. The pain was making him delirious, and he was exhausted. "B-but it hurts Dad…” cried Hiro, tucked into his father’s arms. “I don't want them to hurt it more..."

"I promise they won't hurt you buddy,” said Atsumu quietly, “They're gonna help you feel better..." Atsumu knew that it would hurt when the doctors did their work but he knew Hiro needed reassuring first. 

He silently swore, realizing that past fifteen, he and Osamu were fine whenever they got into scrapes, but _this?_ This was one of the worst hospital visits he’d ever had. He could deal with broken fingers and toes, and even broken noses, but he had _never_ had to deal with something so severe, either as a child or parent. 

Hiro’s leg had a point where it shouldn’t have, and Haru’s stomach _couldn’t_ have enough in it for Haru to have already vomited twice for nearly five minutes.

Over in the corner, Haru shrank more into himself under his father’s glance, looking far smaller than his 6’1” frame would appear. The constant replay hadn’t stopped since the accident, and neither had the overwhelming nausea. He pulled out his phone, a notification from Emiko lighting up the screen and reflecting off his glasses. Leaping up, he said, “Mom’s here,” and ran out of the room.

Atsumu caught a glance of Haru’s face and was stunned. He had never seen Haru’s eyes look that empty. Atsumu shivered, rubbing Hiro’s hand. _That’s not my son_. He’d rather see his son be happy than empty because that _wasn’t his son._

* * *

Haru was heartbroken. He flew through the halls, searching for his short brunette mother, before he literally ran into her speed-walking through the hospital. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry,” he kept repeating, wracked with guilt.

“Wait, Haru,” said Emiko confusedly, “What for?”

He shook his head and kept apologizing, taking off down the hall. Emiko huffed and threw her heels at her much taller son, following him down the hall in her socks. She’d never seen Haru look that upset. Not even when he’d lost at Nationals, the year before, had Haru been that upset and shell-like.

When she arrived to where Hiro and Atsumu were, she looked quizzically at him. He shook his head. The boy who ran into her in the hall was apologizing too much to be Haru, and the boy crying into her husband’s side was just a shell, not at all like Hiro. 

Thankfully Hiro was calmer now, and when Yukio reappeared to take him to be X-rayed, Hiro lay limp on the bed. Didn’t cry. Didn’t fight. Just whimpered.

Haru was sitting in the corner again with his hands over his mouth. Emiko knew what that really meant. Haru was going to throw up.

She looked sadly over at her son, she could hear the faint murmurs of what Haru was saying. He kept repeating “My fault,” over and over again. Atsumu followed her gaze, looking at Haru sadly. Haru flinched, curling into himself as best he could.

Haru finally said, “Stop looking at me like I’m something to be pitied. You should scream at me right now and tell me I have no right to even be here when h-he’s like th-that a-and...” he cried.

"Baby...what happened?" Emiko asked softly, kneeling in front of her son. Haru rarely cried, and Emiko and Atsumu were quickly growing alarmed. Both of their sons were behaving extremely out-of-character. 

He kept crying, but started to shakily explain, “M-me and Hiro were messing around o-outside. We were jumping off things onto the trampoline and stuff, a-and we got to the balcony in the back, y’know the big o-one? B-Between our bedrooms?”

Atsumu nodded slowly, looking worriedly at his son. “Yeah,” he said.

“So, I j-jumped off the balcony o-onto the trampoline and I dared Hiro t-to do it too, a-and when he didn’t w-want t-to we started arguing and I kept calling him ch-chicken shit arguing with him and h-he j-jumped off but h-he landed wrong a-and his leg was _covered in blood_ ,”

Haru kept sobbing and rushed to the bathroom where Atsumu and Emiko could hear him dry heaving into the toilet. They looked warily at each other. What Haru had done needed to be addressed, but he was genuinely remorseful for his actions. It was a start, at least.

But there were more pressing matters. 

* * *

Yukio returned with Hiro. “The doctor will be here soon to discuss the X-rays,” he said kindly. 

“Thank you, Matsumoto-san,” said Emiko graciously. Smoothing her grey wool skirt, she sat down next to Hiro, frowning sadly. He looked miserable, and that was putting it mildly. 

A few minutes later, a kind looking woman in her mid-thirties with light brown hair in a bun appeared. “Hello,” she said. “I am Dr. Sasagawa,”

Atsumu and Emiko smiled at her. “You...had something to discuss?” asked Atsumu hopefully. 

“Yes, but I’m afraid it may not be what you want to hear,”

“Well…” said Emiko. “Whatever it is, we’ll be alright, won’t we?”

“Please tell us,” said Atsumu. 

“Very well. It appears Hiroaki-kun has fractured his tibia and fibula in the fall, but it is not a clean break on either bone,” said Dr. Sasagawa. 

Atsumu furrowed his eyebrows together, his blond fringe falling over his eyes. “That’s... not good, even for a break, right?”

“Yes, that’s correct. As such, we really must correct this at once. An operating room is already being prepared as we speak,”

Emiko and Atsumu looked warily at each other. “Our son plays volleyball. Will he be able to continue after he recovers?”

Dr. Sasagawa smiled. “This is actually quite a frequent injury in athletes, and many make a full recovery and return to the same level of play without after-effects.”

Atsumu smiled for the first time since arriving at the hospital. 

But Dr. Sasagawa wasn’t finished. “The road to recovery will not be easy,” she said. “But I think your son will be alright,”

Atsumu and Emiko were saddened by the news but relieved nonetheless. “Thank you, thank you so much,” said Emiko.

After a bit, Yukio returned with several nurses who took Hiro to the operating room. Both Atsumu and Emiko wanted to go with him, but they settled on having only one wait outside. Emi went with Hiro, leaving Atsumu and Haru in the hospital room. Atsumu looked at Haru through his bangs. Haru was curled up, still crying into his arms. 

“Hey, Haru,” said Atsumu softly. “I’ll be right back. I’m gonna get something from the cafeteria, okay?”

Haru shrugged, lost in the swirling pools of emotions battering him like a rock at sea. He watched Atsumu leave and took off his glasses, folding them next to him, before he buried his face in his arms, tears streaming down his face, creating a wet patch over the Nekoma logo of his hoodie.

 _Why did I have to be such an asshole?_ _If I hadn’t said all that stuff to Hiro, he’d be fine, and we’d still be at home._

He started to cry again, quieter and harder. Sora, his best friend in the entire universe, could walk through the door with his father, Ushijima, and Haru wouldn’t even care. He was too upset. _Hiro doesn’t deserve this…_

Eventually, the brunet stopped crying, but he felt uneasy

* * *

Atsumu pushed the door open with his elbow. His arms were full of cups and a bag of food hung off his wrist. He set them down on the table and sat down next to Haru. “Hey,” said Atsumu. “How are you holding up?” He knew the answer, but hearing it from his son would be much more reassuring. 

Haru looked up. His eyes were red and puffy. Atsumu tried not to wince. “Truthfully? Badly.” he said, voice raspy from crying.

“Can I ask you a question?”

“Fine...shoot,” 

“Why did Hiro jump?” asked Atsumu. He was genuinely curious. Hiro wasn’t so easily moved. He could take the name-calling Haru often employed. This had to be because of something _else_.

Haru’s mood plummeted. 

Atsumu easily picked up on it, and reached his hand into the bag, offering Haru a mandarin. “Want some?” he said, trying to ease the mood.

Haru’s stomach growled, craving its favorite fruit. But Haru frowned and pushed it away. “No thanks, Dad. Feels like I’ll puke if I try to eat.”

Atsumu sighed and put it back in the bag. “At least drink something,” he said, offering a Yakult to his son. 

“Okay,” said Haru, voice uncharastically soft and unthreatening. He took a morose sip from the Yakult. 

It was unnerving.

“You don’t have to tell me right now, you can just write it down,” said Atsumu after a moment. He handed Haru a napkin and pen. “I’m going to check on your mom and your brother soon,”

“Okay,” said Haru. He picked up the mandarin from out of the bag and peeled it, taking an experimental bite. Scribbling down what happened was actually easier than he had hoped. He filled up the napkin in his scrawling handwriting, needing to get everything out of his system.

He was exhausted. It was a long day, but it was far from over.

Haru curled into himself and fell asleep. Atsumu watched him. He looked so, so tired. But Atsumu couldn’t even hear him snoring softly. It was unsettling. After a bit, he kissed the top of Haru’s head and left to visit Emiko.


	2. The Aftermath

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This time, it's the adults. How do Emiko and Atsumu deal with this?

Emiko sat in the prep room next to Hiro’s bed. The anesthesiologist, Hamamoto Kimiko, was explaining how the process worked. She had a soft, soothing voice, and Emi found herself relaxing as Dr. Hamamoto carefully led her team of anesthesiologists to help Hiro prepare for surgery. 

“It should be no more than two hours unless we encounter complications,” explained Dr. Hamamoto. “So, he should be waking up in about three or four hours,”

“Okay,” said Emi. She fiddled with her hands as her sons were prone to do, unsure of what to say to the doctor. “I-is it okay if I—”

“Stay? Of course. You’ll need to step out for the operation itself, but you are free to wait in the post-operation room for your son,” replied Dr. Hamamoto. 

Emi smiled graciously. 

“Thank you so much, Dr. Hamamoto,” she said. Rubbing Hiro’s hand softly, she reassured him as the anesthesiologists put a mask over his mouth and nose to deliver the anesthetic quickly. Hiro was too tired to protest. 

After Dr. Hamamoto was satisfied with the anesthesia, she ushered Emiko outside. “I’ll keep you posted,” she said. 

“Thank you,” said Emi softly. She spotted Atsumu walking down the hallway and lit up. “Atsu,” she said breathlessly. 

“Hey, Emi,”

“Can...can I talk to you?”

“Of course. What about?” 

Emiko led Atsumu down the hall, stopping in a large room marked **General Surgery - Waiting Room**. She ushered him to one of the couches in the corner, sinking into it and smoothing her grey pencil skirt. 

“So…” began Emiko. “Dr. Hamamoto said the surgery and everything should be done in three or four hours,”

“That’s good!” said Atsumu. 

“But…”

“But?”

“But they talked to me about Hiro staying overnight... I don't feel comfortable leaving him here alone, and he hates hospitals but they said it would be good for him...But I don’t want him to wake up alone either,”

Atsumu furrowed his eyebrows. “Exactly. Having Hiro stay would stress him out more...but if...if one of us stayed, he’d be okay,”

“Well...yes. But he doesn’t even have his phone, Atsu...Wh-What if something happened while we were safe at home and he’s here?”

Atsumu reached into the pocket of his jeans. “Actually, Haru brought Hiro’s phone so you don’t need to worry about that. And...And I think one of us should stay with Hiro, but I don’t know.” 

Emiko took the phone delicately, slipping it into her skirt pocket with shaky hands.

“No, I agree,” she said. “One of us should stay with Hiro. They won’t let us both stay, and Bear needs feeding and Hitoshi needs to be picked up from our brothers, and Haru needs to rest. Unless you can do all that and be back in,” she glanced at the clock on the wall. “Ten minutes, I’ll stay,”

“ _Emi_ ,” said Atsumu. “You shouldn’t have to do this by yourself,”

“Oh Atsu...You already did so much for the boys today. You need to rest. It’s my turn. Now go and get Haru, I have some things in my bag. I’ll be fine,”

“I…Okay. Keep me posted, Emi. Please. I love you,”

“I will. I love you too,”

* * *

Atsumu peered back into the room. The mandarins were gone, and so was the paper bag. _That’s good, at least he ate something._ Haru was still sleeping, and Atsumu bent down. “Hey, Haru,” he said. “Time to wake up. We’re gonna pick up Toshi and feed Bear, okay?”

Haru blinked sleepily, putting his glasses back on. “Okay…”

Atsumu went around the room, gathering what little he had brought in his rush to arrive. “I’ll call Omi-Omi and ask him if he can meet us at the house while we pick up Toshi, okay?” 

“Okay,”

Having gathered the few things they brought, father and son left, thanking Yukio as they went out the doors into the dark. They were warm, but it was still chilly, as spring hadn’t quite arrived yet. 

Atsumu slid into the car, Haru followed. As they drove towards Osamu’s house, Atsumu called his brother. “Hey ‘Samu,” he said. “I’m picking up Hitoshi. And, uh, is it okay if I stay the night?”

Haru shifted uncomfortably. _My fault Dad doesn’t feel comfortable at home_. 

“Huh? No, no. Emi’s fine. We’re not arguing. Just...can’t sleep at home right now, too stressful…Oh. Really? Thanks ‘Samu,”

He hung up. 

“I’ll pick up Hitoshi and drop you boys off at the house. Let me call Omi now so he can come and keep an eye on Hitoshi,”

“Okay…” murmured Haru. He leaned his head on his arm, trying to fall asleep. Atsumu glanced at him worriedly. 

He passed his phone to Haru, asking him to call Sakusa. Once the phone began to ring, Haru passed it back to Atsumu. “Hey, Omi-Omi. If you’re not busy with Kyouya, could you do me a favor tonight? I need you to watch Hitoshi and Haru for me. Nah...they behave, you know that. Kyouya’s invited too. Just for tonight, yeah. Thanks,”

He hung up. 

The way to Osamu’s house was simple. Down the road for a few miles, make a left, make a right, make two lefts, and you were there. Their car pulled up next to Osamu and Daisuke’s stately home, and Atsumu parked the car in the driveway. But before he could exit, a small black-haired blur barreled down the driveway.

“Daddy! Daddy!” shouted Hitoshi, Atsumu and Emiko’s youngest. The boy had recently turned three and was incredibly excited to see his father. He rushed to the door, tugging it open and scrambled into the seat, hugging Atsumu happily.

“Hi Daddy!!” he said excitedly, placing a sloppy kiss on Atsumu’s cheek.

“Hi, buddy,” smiled Atsumu, pecking Hitoshi on the cheek as well. “We’re gonna go home now, okay? Sakusa-san’s babysitting you. Be nice.”

“Yes, Daddy! I be nice to Saku!!” cheered the little boy.

Osamu and Daisuke peered outside. Atsumu waved at his twin and brother-in-law. Osamu walked over to the car, handing Atsumu a bag of Hitoshi’s things. “Everything’s nice and packed.” he said, tapping on the bag.

“Thanks ‘Samu. Hey, Daisuke,”

“No problem, ‘Tsumu,” replied Osamu.

“Hello, Atsumu. How is Emi?” said Daisuke, Osamu’s husband and Emiko’s younger twin brother. He and Emi looked similar with dark brown hair and soft chestnut brown eyes, but Daisuke was far taller than his sister.

“Emi’s...okay, I guess. Worried about...y’know.”

Daisuke nodded in understanding. “If there’s anything you need, don’t hesitate to let us know. We’ll see you soon,”

“Sure. Thanks, Daisuke, ‘Samu,”

“‘Course, ‘Tsumu. You’re my twin,”

Atsumu sat Hitoshi in his car seat next to Haru. The boy was excitedly recounting his day to Haru, who listened with a small smile on his face as he looked out of the window.

They were about halfway through the brief drive home when Hitoshi asked a seemingly innocent question. “Where are Mommy and Hiro?” 

Haru’s gaze flickered over to Hitoshi but he didn’t move. Atsumu had a tight smile on his face. _How do you explain to a three-year-old that his brother is in surgery at the hospital because your other son made him jump off your balcony?_

“Hiro’s with Mommy,” he finally decided on saying. “Hiro had a bad accident and he’s at the hospital. We can see him tomorrow, but only if you’re a good boy for Sakusa-san,”

“Hiro-nii had a accident?!” shrieked Hitoshi. 

_Ah, shit. Shouldn’t have led with that._

“You’re too loud, Toshi,” grumbled Haru. He shifted, trying to find a comfortable position inside their sedan. 

“Oh. Sorry, Haru-nii,”

“S’okay, Toshi,”

Atsumu sighed. “Yes, your brother had an accident. That’s why Daddy is leaving you and your brother at home with Sakusa-san. Daddy will be at Osa-oji’s house in case you need anything, okay? Daddy needs a break,”

“O-okay,” blubbered Hitoshi. The three-year-old was on the verge of tears. Atsumu and Haru were not far behind. 

Thankfully, when they pulled back into their driveway, Sakusa’s sleek black compact car was sitting in the driveway. 

Hitoshi instantly perked up. “Saku-san’s here!” he cheered as Haru opened his brother’s car seat. “Kyou-kun here too?” Scrambling out of the car and up the driveway, he barreled into Sakusa’s legs, shouting excitedly. 

Sakusa had a small smile underneath his mask, and clapped Atsumu on the back. “See you later then,” he said, leading Hitoshi inside to play with his favorite babysitter and his son. 

That left only Haru and Atsumu outside the house. Atsumu nudged Haru to go inside and hang out with Kyouya and Hitoshi and Sakusa. But he didn’t budge. The brunet sighed, “Dad...I already said this, but I know I fucked up. I’m sorry,”

“You didn’t do anything to me or your mom, Haru. Please stop apologizing to us. Apologize to Hiro. He needs it more than we do,” said Atsumu gently, brushing the hair out of Haru’s eyes. 

Haru winced. “Oh...okay. Yeah. Um...I’ll feed Bear. See you later Dad,” he scurried inside.

Atsumu walked to the top of the stairs, but Haru was nowhere in sight. At least Bear seemed to be happy eating her dinner, though she also looked like she was about to fall asleep. Haru was still nowhere to be seen. _I hope he won’t throw up again._

After gathering some toiletries and underwear in a backpack, Atsumu hurried downstairs. Sakusa and his son were sitting on the floor with Hitoshi, playing with LEGOs. Bear had joined them, lazily napping in the corner. Atsumu smiled. “Thanks again, Omi, Kyou-kun,”

“It’s no problem,” said Kyouya quietly, building a castle of LEGOs with Hitoshi. 

“I’ll see you tomorrow,” said Sakusa, standing up tilting his head at Atsumu. 

“Yeah, see you tomorrow, Omi. Bye, Toshi,”

“Bye-bye Daddy,” pouted Hitoshi. “I wanna go with you...but I wanna play with Saku-san and Kyou-kun...but I’m gonna miss Daddy. Will Daddy call me like when he has games? Please?”

“Of course I will, buddy. Bye bye,”

“Bye!”

* * *

As he returned to his brother’s house, Atsumu let his mind wander. He hadn’t seen Haru to give him a proper goodbye. _He probably thinks I’m mad at him, honestly._ He wasn’t sure how to feel about that. 

He _was_ mad, but Haru also was genuinely sorry. He wasn’t sure what to do. _I just want them to be okay._

Though he felt guilty for leaving the boys, he knew that he needed time to process what had happened. He couldn’t do that at home. The boys would need him and he…couldn’t. Couldn’t do that. 

So, Osamu’s house it was. 

He pulled into the driveway and stepped out. Grabbing his bag from the trunk, he closed it with a _thud._ He knocked on the door and Osamu opened it, ushering his brother inside. 

“D'you want to talk about it?” he asked softly, shutting the door behind him. 

“Honestly, I don’t know. I just want to sleep. It’s been a long day,” Atsumu admitted. He followed Osamu down the hall to the guest bedroom. 

“Do you at least want to call Emi before you sleep?”

“Yeah. Thanks ‘Samu,”

“No problem ‘Tsumu,”

Osamu left the guest bedroom, giving his twin a soft smile as he went. Atsumu flopped onto the bed with a groan. _It’s barely eight, and I’m exhausted. I better not be getting old._

It had been a long, long day. 

What he needed was a shower. A long, hot shower. Pulling out a towel, Atsumu trudged to the bathroom, intent on relaxing and calling Emiko. 

Inside, the bathroom was littered with a number of hair products, likely those of his brother and his nieces. Himari and Yua loved caring for their hair almost as much as Atsumu and Osamu did. 

Luckily, that meant that the guest shampoo was also color-safe for Atsumu’s hair. Atsumu stepped underneath the hot showerhead and sighed peacefully. _This is the good stuff._

Once he had finished and was dressed in his pajamas, he sat back down on the guest bed to call Emi. 

* * *

_Ring._

_Ring._

_Ring._

Back at the hospital, Emi was exhausted. Once Atsumu left, she had pulled out her huge black work bag, removing one of Atsumu’s MSBY hoodies from it, and slipping it over her head. The smell was comforting. Thick and musky, but with hints of sandalwood and pine. The twins had also left some Nekoma bracelets in the pockets that Emi tugged on, though they were loose on her small wrists. So much smaller than theirs. 

It was comforting, but it wasn’t what she needed. 

She needed Atsumu. 

As if her prayers were answered, her phone lit up with an incoming call from him. She picked up happily. “Hi, Atsu,” she said softly. 

“Hi, Emi. How is everything?”

“"I- I miss you, and the boys... I just want to hug you and forget this day ever happened,”

"Hey, just breathe Emi. They'll be okay, I'm okay. You stayed to make sure Hiro wouldn't be alone, you're not letting any of us down by being with him,” reassured Atsumu. 

“I know, but I just...I really miss you. Stay with me?”

“Of course,”

Emi smiled, though she knew Atsumu couldn’t see her. Shifting on the uncomfortable hospital room couch, Emi sighed once she found a comfortable position. 

After a moment, she said, “Atsu?”

“Yeah?”

“Um, so. The doctor told me earlier but I wasn’t sure if I should tell you. I-we got an update on Hiro. He’s fine but...he’s not going to be that way when we tell him what they said and I...don’t know what to do. Telling him seems cruel but so does _not_ telling him and I’m worried and I just want this day to be over and for it to all be a dream and _God, Atsu._ He’s going to be so upset and I don’t know how to handle it. I-I need…”

“A distraction?”

“Honestly? Yes. Tell me about what Toshi’s doing,”

“We-ell, see. I’m at our brothers’ house. The boys are with Omi. I honestly need a distraction too. Today’s been...exhausting. It’s barely nine but I can already feel my body falling asleep and I’m _thirty-seven_ , Emi. I’m not old!”

Emi laughed. “Oh, Atsu, thirty-seven is plenty old. Plenty old enough to tell me what the boys are up to,”

“Hmm...true. Last I heard from Omi (which was twenty...three minutes ago), Hitoshi is still not asleep. Apparently he wants to talk to you, but Omi wants him to get ready for bed first. He’s probably going to call in a bit. Haru’s sleeping, or at least that is _also_ what Omi said. To be honest, I don’t think he can sleep either,”

“No, I don’t think so...I definitely can’t. You’re...you’re really helping though. It’s miserable here. I just want to be at home in my bed with you. Even if you snore,”

“Hey! I do not snore!”

“Yes you do, honey,”

“Aww...fine. Maybe a little,”

Emi smiled. They lapsed into a comfortable silence, just enjoying each other’s presence. Then Atsumu began to snore. Emi giggled, whispered, “Good night, Atsu,” and hung up. 

It was only moments later that she got a call from Sakusa. Picking up, she said, “Hi, Sakusa-san, how are the boys?”

“They’re fine. Toshi had a bedtime story, but he doesn’t seem to like my renditions of your games as you advised. Kyouya’s own games didn’t interest him either. He says...what did you say?”

“I like the story, Saku-san, but I wanna talk to Mommy!!” interrupted Hitoshi. “Please!”

“All right, you can talk to her. And then you’ll sleep,” said Sakusa. Emi could hear the grin in his voice. 

“Okay!” agreed Hitoshi. “Hi Mommy!!” 

“Hi baby, are you having a good time with Sakusa-san and Kyouya-kun?”

“Yeah! Kyou-kun is cool and Saku-san said I his Favit!!”

“Oh really, that's fun,”

“Mommy..?”

“Yes, Toshi?”

“When are you and Hiro-nii coming home? Haru-nii is home but Daddy left…”

Emi winced. She had heard that Atsumu had told Hitoshi that Hiro was at the hospital, but he hadn’t told Toshi the details yet. The boy was three.

 **“** Um, we’re coming home in the morning, honey. Hiro-nii got really hurt today so we had to take him to get better,”

“Is he okay?” asked Hitoshi worriedly.

“Yeah, but he's super tired, baby,”

“Oh...can I make it better?”

“No.. I'm afraid you can't baby.”

“I...why not? Your kisses make me feel better, can my kisses make Hiro-nii feel better..?”

“Maybe they can baby, but just know that he's hurting a lot,” 

After a moment, Hitoshi said, “I miss you Mommy,” 

“I miss you too baby. I love you so much,”

“I love you too!!”

“I’ll see you tomorrow and you can give Mommy all the kisses you want, okay?”

“Okay!!”

Emi smiled. _He’s so cute_. 

“Do you want me to tell Daddy you love him?” 

“Yes please!!”

“Okay I will baby, bye-bye!” 

“Bye-bye Mommy!!”

She smiled, and thanked Sakusa again. “It’s not a problem, Emi,” he said kindly. “Good night,”

“Good night,”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the next few chapters are where things start to ramp up. be ready for Asshole!Hiro to make an appearance and for Haru to become even more emotional. :D


	3. The Next Morning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The next morning,
> 
> 1\. Shit hits the fan  
> 2\. Atsumu is tired  
> 3\. There is yelling

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is part one of the Suffering Arc now that the Incident Arc has been resolved.

The next morning, Atsumu woke with a start. He was sleeping in an unfamiliar bedroom, with his phone by his face. _Where the h—Oh._

Everything came flooding back. The anxiety he had felt as soon as someone not very Haru-like had told him to hurry home. The even greater worry when he _did_ get there. The anger when he realized what had happened. 

It was all back. 

Someone knocked on the door and Atsumu said, “Come in,”

Osamu peered in. “There’s breakfast if you want,”

“Oh. Thanks ‘Samu,”

“No problem, ‘Tsumu. You should eat something.”

Atsumu stood up and stretched before following Osamu to the kitchen. There was a delicious spread of food along the table and Osamu’s children were already devouring it with Daisuke. 

“Hi Atsu-oji,” said Aito, a smaller carbon copy of Osamu. “Can Toshi come play again later? We didn’t finish my tower.”

“Himari bumped into it last night,” said Yua, frowning at her brunette twin. 

“It was dark! Pitch black! How was I supposed to see it?!”

Yua rolled her eyes, grey like Daisuke’s. “Then maybe use a flashlight, dumbass. And apologize to Aito!”

“Oh fuck off, Yua. Sorry Aito,”

“It’s okay! I can just make a new one with Toshi!”

Atsumu bit his lip. “Uh, kiddo?”

“Yes, Atsu-oji?”

“I don’t really think Toshi can come today. Maybe tomorrow?”

“Hmm, okay!” said Aito. “More time to plan!”

“Time to plan how to kill me in the morning,” grumbled Himari, kicking her twin under the table.

Yua snickered. 

_This is nice. Wish the boys were here._

After finishing the last of his breakfast, Atsumu retired to the guest bedroom. Packing up everything into his backpack, he thanked the Miya-Fujiwara family and left.

* * *

Back at home, Sakusa, Kyouya, and Hitoshi were enjoying some Yakult and eggs for breakfast. “Do you like it?” asked Sakusa.

“Yeah! Saku-san makes yummy food! And Kyou-kun too!” beamed the three-year-old.

Sakusa grinned beneath his mask. Kyouya blushed, matching his father in every way. “Why thank you, Hitoshi,” he said shyly, tugging on a stray curl in embarrassment. 

Someone honked from outside and Hitoshi leapt out of his chair, Sakusa hot on his heels. Recognizing his teammate, Sakusa opened the door for Hitoshi. 

“Daddy!! Hi!!” 

“Hey, buddy! Were you good?”

“Yeah! Saku-San said I’m his favit!”

“Favorite, buddy,”

“Yeah! Favit!”

Atsumu smiled. “Thanks Sakusa,”

“It’s no problem,” he said. “Toshi’s very well-behaved,”

“Hey buddy. I’m gonna check on Haru, then we can go visit Mommy and Hiro, okay?”

“Okay! I play more with Saku-san and Kyou-kun!”

Atsumu smiled and started up the stairs. When he reached the bedrooms, he pointedly ignored the door with HIRO written in large blocky letters, and opened the door next to it, peeking into Haru’s bright red bedroom. “Haru? You up?”

“Yeah...really tired, though.”

“Didn’t sleep well?”

“Tch. That’s putting it mildly.” he sneered, putting in his contacts. 

“Did you at least eat something besides that mandarin?”

“Yeah, I ate dinner with Sakusa, Kyouya and Toshi. Skipped breakfast, m’not hungry.” he replied, picking up his backpack and stalking out the door. 

Atsumu narrowed his eyes as he followed Haru down the stairs. _Haru loves breakfast. This isn’t normal._ But he couldn’t worry about that, not when Toshi barreled into Haru, shouting, “Good morning, Haru-nii!”

The ghost of a smile passed along Haru’s face. “Hey, Toshi,”

“We’re gonna see Hiro-nii, right Daddy?”

Atsumu hummed, “Yep. Remember what I said?”

“You have to be good! Not loud!”

“Yes, very good. But can you be a _little_ quieter?”

“Oh,” said Hitoshi. More quietly, “Like this?”

“Yes, much better. Say thank you to Sakusa and Kyouya, okay?”

“Thank you, Saku-san! Thank you Kyou-kun! You’re my favit too!”

Atsumu snickered and Sakusa and Kyouya hid matching smiles. “Bye, Toshi,” said Kyouya, following the others outside and getting into Sakusa’s black car with his father. 

The Miya boys all piled into their car, and Haru quickly fell fast asleep with his head in Hitoshi’s lap. Hitoshi giggled, playing with his brother’s silky brown hair. Haru didn’t move, snoring lightly. 

* * *

When they arrived at the hospital a few minutes later, Atsumu looked back at the boys. Haru looked exhausted and Hitoshi was still playing with his hair. 

“Hey, guys,” he said softly. “We’re here. Let’s go,”

“Okay, Daddy!” said Hitoshi, unbuckling his seatbelt. “Come on Haru-nii!”

Haru yawned and followed Hitoshi and Atsumu inside. Hiro had been moved to a room upstairs, so the boys traipsed up the steps. Hitoshi giggled and ran up the stairwell, while Haru kept to the railing, with Atsumu in the middle.

Turning at the third floor, they walked down the hall to room 307. “C’mon, let’s go,” said Atsumu, who opened the door quietly. Hitoshi lit up, scurrying inside. “Hi Mommy!” he whispered, careful to not wake Hiro, who was sleeping.

* * *

Outside, however, Haru didn’t want to go inside. “Dad, no.”

“Haru,” said Atsumu warningly. “Come on, already.”

“Dad...I-I can’t.”

“Haruhiro, come inside,”

Haru shook his head, hands flying to his mouth. Atsumu lurched for a trash bag, putting it in front of Haru, who shook as he vomited. Emiko peered outside with Hitoshi. “Haru?” she asked worriedly. 

“Hi, Mom,” he said weakly.

“Aren’t you going to come inside?”

“Uh…” Haru shuddered, suppressing another wave of nausea. Hitoshi rushed to his brother, patting him on the back. “Haru-nii, are you okay?”

Haru coughed. “Ugh, I’m fine. Stop asking me!”

“Haru…” said Emi. 

“I’m FINE. JUST FINE.”

Hitoshi frowned, clearly not buying it. But the commotion outside woke up Hiro. Haru looked down guiltily, but Hitoshi rushed inside excitedly with Atsumu following him. 

* * *

“Hi, Hiro-nii!”

“H-Hey, Toshi,” said Hiro quietly, voice raspy. Atsumu gave him a glass of water from the bedside table, which Hiro drank greedily. He squinted without his glasses, pawing around for them before Atsumu passed them. 

“Thanks, Dad,” he said quietly, replacing them on his nose.

Hitoshi frowned at the bed. “Daddy, I wanna go up.” he said.

Atsumu grinned, hoisting the three-year-old onto his brother’s chest. “Hey, Toshi,” said Hiro softly. “I missed you last night,”

“Me too,” pouted Hitoshi. Brightening up, he continued, “But I played with Saku-san! He said I’m his favit!”

That brought a small smile to Hiro’s pained face. 

“Daddy, when is Hiro-nii coming home?” asked Hitoshi. Then the mood shifted.

* * *

Outside the hospital room, Emi was trying to encourage Haru to go inside after Hitoshi asked his question. 

“Haru, come on. I know you’re upset, but you’re delaying the inevitable. That’ll make it worse.”

“Mom, no. _Please,_ no,” _Hiro’s going to hate me._

Emi wrinkled her nose. “Haruhiro, come on. You and your brother need to talk. Just rip off the bandaid,”

“No...I can’t. I can’t.”

“Even if you’ll lose your Switch?”

Haru shook his head, looking at the floor. 

Emi huffed, leading her son inside the room. Haru deliberately avoided looking at Hiro, his eyes trained on the wood paneled floor. His stomach kept lurching and coiling like a snake.

Dr. Sasagawa soon entered, smiling serenely. “Good morning,” she said smoothly. A muted chorus of ‘morning’ answered the doctor, but she was unperturbed. She swept her bangs back, saying, “I have some updates on our patient today,” 

“You do?” asked Atsumu hopefully. 

“Yes. Hiroaki-kun’s surgery was quite successful. All that is left is time for the bones to heal. You should be discharged later this afternoon, but first, there are other matters to discuss.”

Haru’s eyes flickered over to his parents’ faces. They were worried. _Great job, that’s all your fault_.

“So…?” asked Hiro. “What is it?”

Dr. Sasagawa smiled. “The bones are now in alignment, so all that is left is for it to heal. It should heal rather rapidly, in about three months.”

_Three months?! That’s when the Inter-High happens!_

“But,” she said.

“But?” asked Hiro warily.

“But there will be therapies needed to regain full motion so that you can play again. That’ll take another three months or so, assuming you don’t re-injure yourself.”

* * *

Hiro was floored. Six months. Six months with no volleyball. Six months where he’d be benched at best, or kicked out of the team at worst. He’d miss the entire Inter-High. And it was all _his_ fault. 

“Haru…” said Hiro, voice dangerously low.

Haru flinched. 

Dr. Sasagawa was still speaking to his parents about surgery recovery and things like that, but Hiro had tuned it completely out, still focused on what Dr. Sasagawa had said. 

_Six months. Half the year._

His breathing was getting faster and more labored, and Atsumu wrapped his arms around him, trying to calm down Hiro. “I got you, Hiro,” he said, rubbing Hiro’s back. Dr. Sasagawa had finished speaking about the discharge procedure and Atsumu and Emiko thanked her. She swept out of the room, leaving the Miyas to their own devices. 

“Haru…” said Hiro again. 

Haru’s gaze flickered to his brother. Hiro’s brownish-grey eyes were cold and empty. Listless. Hitoshi peered up at his brother, trying to give him another hug. Hiro scoffed and pushed him off. The little boy was shocked. 

“Hiro-nii…?”

“ _Haru_ ,” said Hiro, voice growing louder. “Look at me, damnit!”

Haru gave a great shudder, looking up. Hiro had never seen his brother look so empty and careless, not even cold. Just empty. That only made him _seethe_. 

“LOOK AT ME, YOU BASTARD,” roared Hiro. “Why aren’t you happy?! You don’t have to worry about me getting in your way. You’ll get the starter position and _I won’t_. I can’t. And why is that? BECAUSE OF YOU. YOU MADE ME LIKE THIS! IT WAS YOUR IDEA TO FUCK AROUND IN THE BACKYARD. IT SURE WASNT MY FUCKING IDEA BECAUSE I WOULDN'T HAVE BEEN SO STUPID. SO **_WHY_ ** AREN’T YOU HAPPY?!”

Haru blinked slowly, looking at the patterns on the panels of the wooden floor. His hands, long and thin, were shaking. _He_ was shaking. Hiro didn’t stop yelling. “It’s all your fault! If you hadn’t been such a bastard, we’d be at home and no one would be stuck here. And now? I’m done. I can’t play volleyball. I can’t even _walk_ for the next three months. And it’s all. Your. Fault.”

Haru’s eyes were pooling with tears. But Hiro wasn’t done arguing yet. “God, Haru! Why are you just taking it?! Yell! Fight! Do _something for once, you jackass_!” he shouted. 

Haru shook his head, whispering “I’m sorry,”

Hiro scoffed, sneering, “You’re lying. You’re not sorry at all...I bet you like this. I bet you just _love_ seeing me knocked down a peg. Fucking _bastard_ …”

Hitoshi burst into tears. Loudly. 

"Shut the fuck up!” snapped Hiro, glaring at the three-year-old on his lap. Hitoshi didn’t stop crying. “Shut the fuck up, Toshi! Oh my God, why can't he just fucking shut up?!”

* * *

Haru couldn’t take it anymore. 

He tore out of the room, slamming the bathroom door open and collapsing, vomiting everything into the toilet. His throat _burned_. The stink of vomit only made him more nauseous, and his salty tears mixed with the aftertaste, mingling two putrid flavors. Emi stood up, hurrying after her younger son. Emi knocked on the bathroom door. “Haru…” she said quietly. “Are you okay?”

Haru shook his head, but realized Emi couldn’t see him “N-no,” he said weakly. 

“Oh, Haru…You know he doesn’t hate you. He _couldn’t_ hate you. He’s just trying to understand everything that’s happened.”

“Tch. Hard to feel like he doesn't hate you when he’s spitting your words back at you. And when he calls you a ‘jackass’. He never says that. _I_ never say that. You’d kill us,”

Emi sighed, entering and closing the door behind her. She kneeled next to Haru, hugging him, saying, “Well...he’s upset, Haru,”

“I _know_ that. Believe me, I know. And I can’t blame him if I’m being honest. It just hurts. It feels like I’m talking to myself. And it’s not good,” He shook with sobs and Emi hugged him, rubbing his back. 

“Let it out,” she said, “It’s okay.”

When he had quieted down, Emi said, “Let’s get you cleaned up, Haru,”

“Okay…”

* * *

Hiro slammed his hands over his ears, glowering at his brother. Toshi still wouldn't stop crying. Atsumu picked up the three-year-old, rubbing his back and whispering quietly, trying to calm his youngest son. 

They could all hear Haru throwing up next door, but Hiro tuned it out and stopped covering his ears. He couldn’t dwell on that right now. Atsumu glowered back at Hiro over the top of Hitoshi’s head as he sobbed into Atsumu’s shoulder.

“Glaring at me isn't going to change the fact that I don't give a shit,” Hiro sneered coldly, arms crossed in annoyance. 

“Of course it won’t,” conceded Atsumu. “But not giving a shit isn’t going to make things better.”

Hiro rolled his eyes, disinterested in Atsumu’s opinion. “That’s a load of fucking bullshit, and you know it,” 

Atsumu glared and turned away, rubbing Hitoshi’s back. He had begun to calm down, but his face was red and streaked with tears. “Hey, buddy. You’re okay, you’re okay.”

“H-Hiro-nii is scary,” hiccuped Hitoshi. “I no like scary Hiro-nii,”

“Well, he’s mad, Toshi. Really mad. But him yelling at you _wasn’t nice_.” Atsumu gave a pointed look in Hiro’s direction, but Hiro elected to ignore it.

“Hiro, apologize to Toshi,”

“No! Why the fuck should I do that? I'm not apologizing because he was being a little shit and I called him out for it! Like _you_ should have done, except you think he’s a golden child that can do no wrong, and that you should pay all the attention to,” snapped Hiro. 

“Apologize to your brother _now_ or you're getting grounded too,” warned Atsumu. 

“I. Said. No. You can bitch all you want but I don't give a fuck about him. Or you. I've gotten everything else taken away from me, what's my Xbox gonna do? Or, fucking hell, even my Switch? Is it gonna make me feel bad?”

Hiro scoffed, “Well _news flash_ **_Dad,_** I'm doing pretty fucking bad right now anyways! I can’t even get out of bed, and I sure as fucking hell won't be able to _play_ for the next six fucking months! It's all his fault too, I don't care at this point, because if I _did_ care this would be much worse…”

Atsumu was silent.

“Six months Dad... _Years_ of training down the drain! I _was supposed to be a starter and he took that away from me_ ," 

Atsumu wasn’t sure what to say. He expected this sort of thing from Haru, but Hiro was the golden child of the family. Never acted out and _rarely_ swore. But Hitoshi was still crying.

“Apologize,” hissed Atsumu, trying to calm down Toshi. “And keep it down or the nurses will come,”

Hiro’s gaze flickered outside. The nurses were milling around one of the stations, but he could see them giving the three of them odd looks every so often. 

Hiro didn’t have it in him to care. “So _what?_ Doesn’t matter. And where the fuck is Haru?”

Emi peeked inside. “Atsu, I need to talk to you,” she said. “About Haru,”

“Okay,” said Atsumu, following her to the far corner where Hiro wouldn't hear them. But he wanted to know what was happening. He frowned when he realized that he couldn’t even move the bed. 

_Ugh, shitty fucking hospital beds._

He flipped back onto his pillows with an angry huff.

* * *

“Atsu…” said Emi, rubbing her hands together anxiously. “Haru isn’t doing well. He was throwing up and there was...there was acid. That only means he’s been throwing up so much that there is _nothing_ left to throw up. That only ever happened to me once and I was sick. Haru isn’t sick. He’s healthy. Atsu...you need to talk to him. He blames himself, and if he keeps this up, he’s going to work himself into a trap he can’t get out of.” 

Emi shuddered against his chest. He wrapped her up in a hug and she shakily continued. “It’s not going to be pretty and neat to fix either. Just...talk to him. I already did and he...he really seems to have taken Hiro’s words to heart, and not the way I would’ve liked. He said it was like arguing with himself. And that horrifies me.”

She looked into Atsumu’s honey brown eyes, drooping and warm. So very warm. He kissed the top of her head, rubbing her back. “We can get through this, Emi. You know that. We just have to be strong for the boys. But I think we need to talk about Hiro, too. He said some not-so-nice things about his brothers.”

“Oh dear,” said Emi. “He yelled at Toshi after I left, didn’t he…”

“Told me, and I quote, ‘No, I'm not apologizing because he was being a little shit and I called him out for it!’ He’s refusing to listen.”

“They’re all stubborn. So stubborn. Like you, but ten times worse,”

“I don’t know whether that’s an insult or compliment, but I’m too emotionally drained to care. The twins are in big trouble.”

Emi hummed, wrapping her arms around Atsumu’s torso. “They are. But you don’t need to make it miserable either. That defeats the purpose of punishment,”

“Oh, I know _that_ ,” grinned Atsumu. It was wide and unsettling.“Mother and Father had one for me and ‘Samu when we were their age. But I kinda need to give them a break. It’s extremely mentally taxing,”

Emi furrowed her eyebrows. “Atsumu,” she warned. “Don’t break them,”

“No promises since I won’t actually be doing anything,”

Emi giggled, punching Atsumu in the abdomen. “Like that?”

Atsumu wheezed out a laugh. “Nah,”

* * *

Hiro had a clear scowl on his normally soft face. His mood had continued to plummet even after Atsumu had left with Hitoshi.

The white hospital gown he was wearing was covered by a thin blanket and some shitty bedding, but it had done nothing for Hiro’s comfort. 

Emi had noticed that very same discomfort the minute she walked back into the room he was admitted to. 

“Are you cold, baby?” asked Emi, trying to ease Hiro into a calmer state. 

“I’m fine.” The answer was curt and Hiro wasn’t interested in his mother’s attempt at a conversation. He was still steaming from his previous argument with Haru. Atsumu had interrupted it, leaving Hiro teetering on the edge of another argument. Probably with his mother. 

“Well, you seem cold Hiro, you're shivering,”

And that was true, Hiro was definitely shivering. Wearing a thin gown and having little to no heating in the room, as it was springtime, had caused the teen to cross his arms and shiver with cold. 

“Why- why can’t you just leave me alone!?” he snapped “I said I was **_fine,_ **so drop it, okay?” 

“Look,” sighed Emi. “I get that you’re hurting and that you’re angry, but you do not get to talk to me like that. I am still your mother, and I will worry about you if I want to, and you will _respect_ that.”

Hiro frowned as Emi continued, “I _want_ to worry about you. You’re my first child, my eldest, and I’m allowed to worry,” 

“Tch, whatever.” scoffed Hiro. “Since you apparently care so much, I want my hoodie. Y’know, the blue Champion one, I saw Dad has it in the bag he brought...” 

Emi pulled it out of Atsumu’s black MSBY backpack without any further fanfare, passing it to her son. “This one?” 

“Yeah,” said Hiro. He pulled it over his gown, instantly feeling much warmer, but no less angry. _I just want to go home._ “Th-Thanks,” he said gruffly. 

“Of course, Hiro,”

They lapsed into silence. 

After a bit, two nurses arrived, the taller woman bearing a thick wad of papers for Emiko, the shorter woman bringing a wheelchair, ostensibly for Hiro. He looked up from a book he’d been reading from the bag. Tilting his head confusedly, he asked, “What is it?”

“Ah, nothing much,” said the nurse with the papers. Her voice was lilting, a bit airheaded and presumptuous. Her braids did little to change his mind. 

“You’ll get your cast now while your mother signs the discharge papers with my colleague,” said the other nurse. Her tone was firm but friendly. Hiro liked her more. 

“Uh...okay...I want it to be blue, then.” said Hiro. 

As the nurse wheeled him to the casting room, she asked, “Is that your favorite color?”

Hiro gave an affirmative hum. “Yeah, my room and everything is blue, it’s calming,” _Which I probably need right now._

“Well, that’s good, you seem to have been a bit upset earlier. We could hear some raised voices. 

Hiro picked at his nails, “Um...yeah, that was us. Me and my twin got into a fight. We were pretty loud, huh,”

“Yes, but you also received a bad diagnosis, it’s not unheard of for this sort of thing to happen. Now, it shouldn’t be too tight,”

Hiro looked down. The cast extended from his toes to his thigh on his right leg. “Huh,” he muttered. It was much larger than he expected. “No, it’s fine,”

“Good,” said the nurse. “Probably surprised you, though,”

Hiro gave a noncommittal hum. “Kinda? It’s just the lower bones, but it—“

“It’s to keep the bones from moving if you put weight on it,” they said at the same time. The nurse smiled, blushing in embarrassment. “A-Anyways, that reminds me, you’re not allowed to put any weight on it until the doctor says you can,”

Hiro frowned, face scrunching up like a wet towel. “Fine,” he said. “I’m going to need crutches too, huh?”

“Yes, but until Dr. Sasagawa gives the go-ahead, you’re officially on bed rest to allow the bones to start healing. No walking unless absolutely necessary,”

“Ugh, that fucking sucks…”

“Tell me about it,” smiled the nurse. “I had to miss an entire season and a half of swimming because of surgery when I started high school...it wasn’t fun,”

Hiro smiled too. It felt nice to be able to relate to someone. After everything that had happened, he needed a friendly ear to talk to. 

They lapsed into idle chatter while finishing up, from talking about family (she was apparently a twin as well) to their own athletics (she was in her school swim team, while Hiro did volleyball). 

By the time they were finished, Emi had returned. “Everything is signed off, so we can go whenever you want, okay?”

Hiro’s displeasure was back. He didn’t want to talk to Emi. But he couldn’t stonewall her, she’d plow through it. So he resigned himself to tuning her out again. Apparently, he’d have to come back in two weeks for more X-rays, at which point they’d see if he’d be allowed on crutches with a shorter cast. In the meantime, he’d stay downstairs in the guest bedroom. 

Hiro did not like this. He sighed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so first off, I’m not a doctor. Just a teenager with a bit too much of an obsession with research. If anything is inaccurate, I apologize. My personal medical experience lies in the realm of surgery and brains, not broken bones.
> 
> Secondly, thank you SO MUCH for your comments, I really appreciate them! Keep them coming, especially as things start to heat up. Asshole!Hiro made his debut here and will continue to star in the next few chapters.
> 
> Thirdly, yes, this does have a happy ending. I couldn’t have my boys suffer and not give them a happy ending.
> 
> Thanks so much!!


	4. Home Again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They are not vibing. 
> 
> Hiro’s an ass, Haru won’t eat, and Toshi’s stuck in the middle.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Asshole!Hiro debuts here and will come up again soon. Despite Atsumu having rather shitty parents, this is one of the better lessons they (miraculously, considering they’re abusive) taught him.
> 
> Hopefully it works. Also have some Toshi cuteness. We stan adorable baby siblings.

Haru did not like this. 

He sighed. Looking into the mirror and seeing the same face as Hiro’s reflecting back at him was unsettling. The only difference was the tiny scar on his chin that Hiro lacked. It was from the time Haru had tripped on the sidewalk outside their home, though he pretended it was cooler. 

He scrubbed his face and hands with the cold water, trying to will his disorientation away. 

_ Hiro’s gonna be pissed when we leave _ . He wasn’t sure how he wanted to approach Hiro and apologize. The mere thought of seeing his brother and talking to him nearly sent him back to the toilet. 

Atsumu knocked on the door. “Haru, it’s me. I’m going to take Toshi with me on a walk to the car. Your mom’s getting the discharge papers to take Hiro with us. Are you coming with?”

“Yeah...yeah. Coming.” said Haru quietly. He stepped out, following his father and little brother. 

“Can we get a snack?” asked Hitoshi.

Atsumu smiled, looking at Hitoshi. “What do we say, buddy?”

“Oh! Right! Can we get a snack please?”

“Sure, let’s go.”

Following his father to the small cafe outside, Haru felt a pit of nausea rising through his stomach. “I’m not hungry, Dad,” he said. 

Atsumu gave his son a stern look. “Haru, I really don’t care right now. You threw up everything you ate today, which wasn’t much to begin with. And you threw up everything from yesterday. You are going to  _ eat _ and it is going to stay down. That’s extremely unhealthy, and I am not having another child get sick,”

“O-okay,” said Haru meekly. 

Atsumu suppressed a shudder.  _ Why does he act like that? It’s like they switch personalities when they’re upset.  _

It was weird and he didn’t like it. So, the only option was to make Haru eat something. Then he would at least have some food in his system. 

After ordering a sandwich for himself and Hitoshi, and a few mandarins for Haru, Atsumu sat back down. He passed Haru the fruits, which he peeled morosely, trying to eat as little as possible. 

“Haru-nii, why you sad?”

“I’m not sad, Toshi. I’m just not hungry.”

“Oh. Can I has orange please?”

Atsumu stopped eating his sandwich, frowning. “Hitoshi, you have a sandwich right here. Don’t eat your brother’s food.”

“I’m not hungry, Dad. Toshi can have it.” 

“No. You’re both going to eat your food. Toshi, if you’re still hungry, we have more at home. You can have a mandarin there.”

“Oh.” said Hitoshi. “Okay! Eat, Haru-nii!”

Haru smiled but his expression tugged itself into a small frown again. He nibbled at the mandarin, but by the time Atsumu and Hitoshi had finished their sandwiches, Haru had only eaten a single mandarin. There were four left over. 

“Haru, eat.”

“I’m full.”

“Then at least don’t throw up,” warned Atsumu. “Or you’ll eat twice that at dinner.”

“’Kay.”

Haru remained silent, fiddling with his hoodie. Atsumu watched him warily.  _ He needs to be careful.  _ Toshi provided an easy respite, cheerfully remarking in the flowers that always bloomed around his birthday. Haru watched him, a small smile playing at his lips. 

Finally, Atsumu received a call, suddenly brightening. “Boys, let’s go meet your mother and brother at her car, then we’re going home.”

“Yay!” cheered Hitoshi, running after Atsumu, Haru following a few paces behind.

* * *

Once everyone had settled into Atsumu’s car, a sporty Subaru WRX, he turned on the radio to some pop station and started the drive home. It was twilight, and rapidly darkening. Hitoshi leaned over Haru to look outside excitedly. “Haru-nii! Look! Stars!”

Haru ignored him. The boy was trying—and failing—to take a short nap before they arrived home. He was in a sour mood, and despite his brother’s attempts to cheer him up, the source of his ire was right across from him. Hiro hadn’t stopped glaring holes into his twin’s head since he and Emi had gotten in the car and Haru could feel the anger pouring off Hiro. 

He was seething. They both were. 

Emi glared at the twins through the rearview mirror, mouthing a curt, “Behave.” She was busy calling in favors so that she could have the next two weeks off to stay home with the twins before they had to start school.

However, Hiro had, rather predictably, given the situation, elected to ignore Emi’s order with a scoff. He kept playing with his phone, tapping deliberately (and loudly) behind Emi, trying to distract her. Haru could feel his mother’s patience wearing thin, though she tried to ignore Hiro. 

Haru was trying to cooperate with his parents’ request for silence and nap, but Hiro was quickly grating on his nerves with his shenanigans. _Ugh, is this seriously what I act like?_ _Fucking asshat_.

“Haru-nii…”

Haru sighed, opening his eyes.  _ There goes the idea of a nap. _ “What?” he asked curtly.

“We home now!”

“Oh.”

Haru could feel his stomach drop to the floor again as they pulled into the gated community. Their house was two streets away when his parents turned around, looking at the twins. Atsumu was frowning as he steered the car into the driveway, "Your mother and I agreed that you’ll be punished for your misbehavior,” he said

“Daddy! I was being good!” interjected Hitoshi stubbornly.

Atsumu smirked, “Yes, Toshi. You were very good. But Haru and Hiro weren’t,”

“Today’s been a long day,” continued Emi. “So your father is planning to give his punishment later.”

Hiro and Haru looked warily at each other. Atsumu’s punishments were not to be taken lightly. Haru still had nightmares of his classmates finding Atsumu’s live streams of the twins cleaning the volleyball court with toothbrushes as Atsumu supervised them with a smirk.  _ Dad’s a fucking sadist. He’d better not do something bad. _

Hiro glowered at his twin over Hitoshi’s head and Haru’s eyes shifted to the floor with a frown. _ Well, that talk with Mom did shit for his mood too _ .

“All right, it’s been a long day. We’ll have dinner in the living room, then bed, all right?”

“Yay!” cheered Hitoshi. “Can we have sleepover?”

“Not tonight, buddy, everyone’s super tired, okay?”

“Oh. Okay! Come on Haru-nii! Help set table!”

Haru snickered, unbuckling himself and Hitoshi and opening his car door. “I can’t set the table, silly. It’ll go flying out the window.”

Hitoshi squealed with laughter. “No! We put the stuff to eat! Not like volleyball!! Silly Haru-nii!”

The two of them smiled and dashed inside.

* * *

That left Emiko, Atsumu, and Hiro in the car. “I’ll carry you inside, all right? You’ll sleep in the downstairs bedroom.” said Atsumu. 

“I can walk!” protested Hiro. 

“Hiro. Not happening. Dr. Sasagawa only let us go home because we said you’d stay  _ off _ your crutches for two weeks first. You still need to let the stitches heal, too. So, the downstairs bedroom.” said Emiko. 

“Ugh,” groaned Hiro. “Fine. Let’s just go.”

Atsumu opened the door, picking up Hiro with a fond huff. “You seriously need to stop growing. You’re already my height, and at this rate, you’ll be taller than me before the end of your first year!”

Hiro snorted. “Yeah, right.”

“Mm, no, Atsu. I think he’ll be taller than you before winter break,” smiled Emi, following her husband with a devilish grin. 

Hiro smiled but it quickly morphed into an angry frown when they arrived at the bedroom. “Toshi, go away.”

“Hiro-nii! I was just getting you blankey! Don’t be mean!”

“No,” snapped Hiro. “Go away.”

Atsumu set him down on the bed and turned to Hitoshi. “Buddy, you can stay with me and give Hiro your blankey later. I think he needs a nap.”

Emi giggled, laying Hiro’s crutches against the headboard and propping up his cast with pillows. “Yes, I think Hiro needs a nap, too.”

“Mom, Dad, what the hell! Stop! It’s not funny!” said Hiro angrily.

Hitoshi was pouting, hugging Emi’s leg. “Mommy, Hiro-nii is being mean! I just wanna give him blankey!”

“Yes, Toshi, your brother is being mean. But let him be mad now. He can regret it later,” said Atsumu warningly.

“Dinner will be ready soon,” said Emi. “You don’t have to go if you don’t want to leave the bed, but your father will carry you.”

Hiro wrinkled his nose. “I’m not a damn baby.”

Atsumu and Emiko looked at each other. “If you say so, Hiro. Give a holler if you need anything.”

“Fine, whatever. Can I at least have my phone before I lose another freedom?”

Emi looked at Atsumu. He nodded. “Tomorrow.” she said. “The last thing anyone needs is to be on their phones right now. We all need to rest.”

“UGH, drive the knife deeper in, why don’t you,” sneered Hiro. 

“ _ Don’t  _ talk to your mother like that,” snapped Atsumu. 

“I don’t care, it doesn’t matter anyways.” 

Emi sighed. “I’ll start dinner. Tuna?”

“Sure,” replied Atsumu, still glaring at Hiro. Hiro rolled his eyes at his father, flopping onto the bed with a yawn. “Gonna take a nap. Today better have been a dream.”

Atsumu rubbed his face.  _ You and me both, kid.  _

He turned off the lights. “I’ll call you when dinner’s ready.” 

Hiro didn’t answer. He was already fast asleep.

* * *

“Mommy...wake up!”

“Huh?” said Emi, sitting up in bed, her brown hair disheveled with sleep. She squinted, grabbing for her glasses on the bedside table. “What’s up, baby?”

“Hungry!” said Hitoshi. “I’m hungry, Mommy!”

Atsumu rolled over, squinting tiredly at his youngest son, “Toshi, Mommy and Daddy are sleeping. Ask Haru, okay?”

Hitoshi pouted. “But I did! Haru-nii locked the door! And he sleeping too! And you’re not sleeping! You talk to me! So breakfast,  _ please? _ ”

Atsumu groaned. “Fine. I’ll wake up.” He slipped off the bed, giving Emi a kiss, “Go back to sleep.”

“M’kay,” she said, snuggling into the covers.

“Yay! Thank you!” said Hitoshi. “Sleep good, Mommy!”

“I will,” she smiled, drifting back to dreamland.

* * *

Emi stretched awake a little later. Atsumu and Hitoshi were gone, but she could hear commotion downstairs, most likely the kitchen. Tugging off the covers and pulling on her slippers, she walked across the hall to check on Haru. She knocked on his door, saying, “Haru, open up. It’s me.”

“Coming, Mom,” came a muffled voice from inside. 

Haru opened the door, looking exhausted. His normally tawny skin was pale and ashy and his eyes were bloodshot under his glasses. And his hair? A rat’s nest.

“Haru...did you even sleep?”  _ ‘Cause it sure looks like you didn’t. _

“No. Brain can’t shut up,” he yawned. Resting his head on the doorframe, he confessed, “It’s just that everything is kinda catching up. Too many thoughts. It’s so _ tiring _ but I can’t sleep. Ended up rearranging my bedroom again and I still couldn’t fall asleep,”

“Maybe some food will help, then. Atsu and Toshi are cooking,” she said.

“Maybe...I have no idea, but I'm too tired to even want to throw up,” Haru replied.

Emi beamed. “Good, good. Come on.”

* * *

Downstairs, Atsumu opened the door to Hiro’s room. He had skipped dinner the night before, opting to sleep right through it, and Atsumu was worried about his eldest son, who usually had a voracious appetite.

“Hiro...you up?” he asked, peering inside, and squinting at the darkness.

Snoring answered him. 

“Oh...Kay? Turning on the lights,” said Atsumu, flicking the switch. The light revealed that Hiro was fast asleep, leg propped up the same way as the night before.  _ Huh. _ He poked Hiro’s cheek. Hiro continued to snore.  _ Dead asleep _ . Poking Hiro again gave the same result. Atsumu rolled his eyes fondly.  _ Tired himself out. _

He scrawled a note, setting it down on the table under Hiro’s glasses. “Later, then.” he said, closing the door behind him. 

Toshi waited patiently next to the door with Bear, their dog. “Daddy, what’s for breakfast?” he asked, trotting after Atsumu to the kitchen, Bear following him. 

Atsumu looked in the fridge, humming as he scanned for some food to make. “Wanna make oyakodon?”

Hitoshi looked inside the fridge, too, and Atsumu picked him up, propping him on his hip. “Yeah! Oyakodon! I help!”

“Okay, sure, buddy,” said Atsumu. “Go get your apron. I’ll feed Bear.”

“Okay!”

Bear excitedly panted, sitting by her usual spot by the table. “Hey, Bear, can you be a good girl and keep an eye on the twins?” Atsumu said, as he served her breakfast. Bear wagged her tail happily, ready to comply.

Then, Atsumu pulled out the chicken and eggs, along with scallions and vegetables to make the toppings. “Toshi, can you get the rice cooker?”

“Okay!”

Atsumu set down everything on the counter and began to chop, stir and cook the meat. Hitoshi put the rice cooker on the table and dashed off to get the rice. Atsumu plugged it in, and when Hitoshi handed him the box of rice, he helped Hitoshi prepare it. 

“All right, we’re almost done. Can you set the table for everyone?”

“Okay!” said Hitoshi, scurrying off. Bear was done eating, and had lumbered off to take a nap in the living room.

Atsumu smiled.  _ Maybe today will be better.  _

* * *

It was not better.

Hitoshi seemed to be the only one enjoying breakfast. Haru picked at his food and Emiko and Atsumu were watching him carefully. 

“Haru, you need to eat,” said Emi.

He yawned. “S-Sorry, just…” he slowly pushed his plate to the center of the table and slumped forwards, fast asleep. 

“H-Haru-nii? Are you okay?”

“Shh,” said Atsumu. “He’s exhausted. Probably hasn’t slept well since...that. I’ll take him to the couch.”

Hitoshi watched worriedly as Atsumu carried Haru to the couch, draping a blanket over the sleeping teen. Bear napped beside him, much like a guard dog. It was cute, but it didn’t reassure Hitoshi. He had never seen anything like that before. 

“Mommy...is Haru-nii okay?”

“Oh baby…he’s not.”

“Is he hurt too? He looks fine.”

“Well, his body is okay, but he’s very hurt too.”

“Oh. I can’t make it better either?”

“Well, I don’t know. He needs to sleep right now,” said Emi. “His feelings are hurt—”

“So hugs will make it better!” interrupted Hitoshi. “Oh. Sorry. I not supposed to interrupt.”

Emi sighed. “It’s okay. I hope hugs will make it better, baby, but I don’t know.”

Atsumu sat back down at the table, picking up where he left off with his breakfast. “Is Hiro awake?”

“Not since you checked on him earlier. It’s actually kind of weird, he’s usually eating lunch by now,” replied Emi.

Atsumu snickered. “You mean at school he is, it’s a Saturday today. Breakfast is late so lunch will be late.”

“I suppose,” smiled Emi. “But Hiro really should eat something,”

Hitoshi perked up, sensing an opportunity to be useful. “I go get Hiro-nii!” he said excitedly. Atsumu and Emiko looked at each other. 

“Sure, buddy, let’s go wake up your brother.”

“Yay!”

Toshi ran down the hall to the bedroom where Hiro was sleeping. Flipping the light switch on, he sat patiently waiting for Hiro to wake up. “Daddy, I turned on the light. Why is Hiro-nii still sleeping?”

“Turning on the light won’t wake him up at all,” snickered Atsumu. “Try this instead.”

He grinned, poking Hiro’s nose with a finger. “Boop!”

“Oh! I try! Boop!”

_ This should wake him up.  _

It did not, in fact, wake him up. 

Hiro continued to snore as if nothing was happening. “Umm...Daddy, I have an idea.”

“Oh? What is it, buddy?” Atsumu asked, leaning down so Hitoshi could whisper into his ear. 

“Are you sure?”

“Yes!!” Hitoshi giggled.

Careful to mind Hiro’s cast, Hitoshi clambered onto the bed with a grin. Atsumu approached from the other side, hands at the ready. He and Hitoshi looked at one another and Hitoshi whispered.  _ “Go!” _

The pair began to tickle Hiro with all their might, and Hiro woke with a start, shrieking like a banshee. 

“STOP—STOP—” he shouted, overcome with laughter. “P-PLEASE STOP TI-TICKLING M—”

Hitoshi and Atsumu burst into giggles themselves. “Good morning, Hiro-nii!” said Hitoshi, seemingly forgetting the animosity between himself and his elder brother. 

“Um, good morning Toshi.” he said. “I wanted to tell you something, actually.”

“Oh? What?” he asked curiously. 

“I’m sorry I yelled at you yesterday. I wasn’t being a very good big brother.”

Hitoshi deflated. “Oh. Yeah. It was scary. I don’t like scary Hiro-nii,”

“Me neither,” admitted Hiro. “I wasn’t being nice at all. I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay! I forgive you!” said Hitoshi brightly, perking up again. “You hungry?”

Hiro hummed, pushing himself up. “Uh, yeah, actually. What’d you make?”

“Oyakodon!” cheered Hitoshi. “I helped Daddy!”

Hiro smiled. “That sounds really good,” he said.

Hitoshi turned to Atsumu, saying, “Daddy, can you get some oyakodon for Hiro-nii?”

“Of course. Be right back you two. Hiro, DON'T get up.”

“He won’t! I make sure!” said Hitoshi. 

“Good. Be right back.”

Atsumu returned with a steaming plate of oyakodon, setting it on Hiro’s bedside table. “Eat up, all right? You were out for a pretty long time.”

Hiro nodded vigorously, wolfing down his meal with relish. 

“It’s very tasty,” he said in between bites. “I like it a lot!”

Hitoshi beamed. “Thank you, Hiro-nii!”

After a moment, Hiro asked, “Hey, where’s Haru? I wanted to talk to him.”

Atsumu opened the door, peeking outside at the living room. “He passed out earlier, hasn’t woken up.”

“Oh, so he’s asleep? Wake him up, would you?”

“No, Hiro,” explained Atsumu. “He passed out. As in he lost consciousness. He didn’t just fall asleep. He passed out at breakfast and hasn’t woken up since then. It’s been only about an hour. He’s  _ that _ tired. I’m not going to wake him up.”

Hiro frowned, pushing up his glasses. “Fine, whatever. I’ll talk to him later.”  _ And finish what I should’ve said earlier. That was kinda uncalled for.  _ That was, of course, also highly dependent on if he could get out of—

“Hiro, I know what you’re thinking and you are  _ not  _ getting off the bed. I’m going to wash the dishes, Toshi, stay with Hiro.”

“Okay! Be right back, Hiro-nii! I get the Switch!”

“Wait, really?” asked Hiro, brightening up.

“As long as you play with your brother and stay here, I really don’t care right now,” said Atsumu. 

Hiro grinned at his brother who barreled upstairs to get their games without a moment’s hesitation. 

Running back inside, Hitoshi giggled, giving his brother his prized blue-gold custom Switch. The two of them settled on the bed and Atsumu smiled.  _ They’re so cute.  _

Hiro and Hitoshi spent the rest of the day playing. Haru spent it sleeping. Atsumu and Emiko, however, were on edge. 

Something else big was going to happen. 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Obviously, I can’t just spoil what it is :p
> 
> Next week, it’s Punishment Time. I ALMOST feel sorry for them. Well, not Hiro. But especially Toshi and his parents. 
> 
> If you liked it, please don’t hesitate to drop a comment or kudos! They make me so, so happy!


	5. The Punishment: Part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After a talk with his best friend, Haru feels ready for his father's punishment. But is Hiro ready to behave?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Suffering Arc continues. 
> 
> Kaito and Sora make their debuts in this chapter and they are best bois and I love them very much.

The next morning, Haru woke up with a yawn. He wasn’t in his room, but instead in the living room, on top of their lime green couch. Bear snuffled next to him, her head on her paws. Haru rubbed her head absentmindedly.

Passing out at breakfast had been less than ideal, but at least he wasn’t about to pass out from exhaustion anymore. He was still tired indeed, but what he needed wasn’t sleep. Food would have been a good idea, had Haru’s stomach cooperated in the endeavor. But even _thinking_ about eating after the disaster of breakfast set Haru on edge. Even Bear didn’t help.

He needed Sora.

Pulling out his phone, the teen quickly dialed his best friend’s phone number. He hadn’t told Sora about what had happened yet, but Sora would probably find out rather quickly anyways. _At least if I tell him on my terms, it’ll be okay._

“Moshi moshi, Ushijima Sora speaking,”

“Moshi moshi. Hi Sora,” said Haru. “It’s me, Haru. I, uh. Wanted to call you. Sorry I missed talking yesterday. Some stuff came up.”

“It’s fine, Haru. Don’t worry. What is it?” replied Sora. It greatly reassured Haru, who always found Sora’s powerful voice soothing. 

“Uh…” _Well, you dug yourself this hole, might as well lie in it._

“Uh?” echoed Sora confusedly. 

“How do I say this…”

“Say what? Just say it. You don’t have to mince words just because I’m older than you. It doesn’t matter,”

Haru smiled though he knew Sora couldn’t see him. “No...that’s not it. It’s just...complicated,”

“Then start at the beginning. Go as slow as you need to.”

And Haru did just that. 

* * *

“Me and Hiro were messing around after our last call in the backyard, and we had a fight and I, uh...said some things I shouldn’t have said,” _Like an idiot_. “And uh…” 

Haru’s stomach began to perform a complicated contortionist routine.

“Uh…?” asked Sora. “There’s something more, isn’t there?”

Haru’s mouth was dry. “Y-Yeah,” _A lot more, actually_.

“Continue.”

“Well...” _Why is this so hard?!_ Blurting it out would be faster. “ImayormaynothaveinsultedHiroandhedecidedtojumpoffthebalconytoshutmeupbutitdidntworkandnowhislegisbrokenandwecan’tplayagainstyouintheInterHigh,” said Haru.

By now, his stomach was coiled and curled beyond a pretzel. He was crying, trembling, and overwhelmed. His stomach wasn’t helping. At all. He hurried to the bathroom, knowing that his stomach seemed to be _encouraging_ what would inevitably happen. And happen it did. 

Before Sora could get a word in himself, Haru threw up into the toilet. 

The acrid taste of bile rose up in his throat. It burned and burned and _burned_. His body ached with every motion into the toilet. All that Haru could do was let it happen. Trying to stop it would just make it worse, he knew that from experience.

“H-Haru! Are you okay?” asked Sora, worry creeping into his tone.

Haru shook his head, “N-No,” he said weakly. He couldn’t lie to Sora even if his life depended on it. “I’m not okay and I _hate_ it. I hate it.”

Sora was quiet on the other line. “Well,” he said. “I can’t help if I don’t know what’s wrong,”

Haru snorted, tears and snot running down his face. “That’s the problem. I don’t know _what’s_ wrong,”

Sora started t0 speak, but Haru said, “No, no, I know arguing with Hiro is what was wrong. That’s not the problem. I just...I feel guilty but Hiro thinks I’m not and I can’t apologize because anytime I try to talk to him, he’s sleeping or pissed off and refuses to talk,”

Sora hummed. “He could be processing it still,”

“Well, yeah, but...he won’t talk to me. And we’ve never gone more than a day without talking, even just a ‘hi’. It’s been almost three days, Sora. I-I can’t even _sleep_ without waking up from nightmares constantly.” said Haru. _It’s like he’s doing it on purpose, but I know he’s not. Not completely._

“It got so bad that I—” he shuddered, “I passed out yesterday. I can’t eat, everything comes up again, and I can’t even fucking _sleep._ I’m just running on fumes and I’m _terrified_. I’m terrified of when I’m going to finally crash and burn because I’m already pretty fucking close,”

Sora sighed. “Haru, you need to stop worrying about your brother. I know you’re upset. I _know_ you feel like it’s your fault. But you’re my friend first, even if I’m friends with you both. And as your friend, I need to ask you to please... _please_ think about yourself right now. You won’t be able to have Hiro forgive you if you get sick because of this. Just...wash up and eat _something_. You need to care for yourself,”

“O-Okay,” said Haru quietly. “I’ll try.”

“There is no try,” said Sora. 

Haru started to smile, saying, “Only do or do not,” with Sora.

He giggled. “Thanks, Sora. I needed that,”

“Anytime,” said Sora. “Now go eat something, okay?”

“Okay,”

Haru hung up. _Well, time to go eat then. And hope Mom won’t kill me for throwing up again._

* * *

Down the hall, Hiro was sleeping again. Hitoshi had fallen asleep on his brother’s chest after playing games for hours on end. It was the longest that Hiro had been awake at once in days.

_Bzzt._

_Bzzt._

_Bzzt._

Hiro groaned and shifted. But Hitoshi was already awake, scrambling over Hiro to get the phone. Kaito’s face was spread across the screen in a bright grin. Hitoshi picked up the phone, giggling, “Hi, Kaito-nii,”

“Hey, little man! Where’s Hiro?”

“Oh, Hiro-nii sleeping. Do I wake him up?”

“Umm, sure I guess,”

Hitoshi grinned and shouted in Hiro’s ear. “HIRO-NII WAKE UP! KAITO-NII IS CALLING!”

Hiro’s eyes snapped open and he glared at his brother before softening. “Tell Kaito that Hiro-nii feels bleh. I don’t want to talk to him,”

That wasn’t a lie, not really. Hiro _did_ want to talk to his best friend, but he couldn’t do that with Toshi in the room, less so when he also felt on the verge of exploding with rage.

“Oh. Okay, Hiro-nii! Sorry, Kaito-nii, Hiro-nii feels ‘bleh’. Can I take a messages instead?”

Kaito was taken aback, silent.

“Um…” he said.

Hitoshi furrowed his eyebrows, “Did I do something bad?”

“N-No, it’s okay. Just...tell him that I miss my best friend, but I’m totally ready to talk whenever he’s not ‘bleh’ anymore, okay? Thanks, Toshi,”

“Okay! Thank you, Kaito-nii! Bye bye!”

“Bye,”

* * *

Kaito hung up, frowning at his phone. His lock screen was a picture of himself and Hiro on graduation day from middle school, both in red and black for Nekoma. That matching picture of the two of them usually brought a smile to his face, but hearing that his best friend—hopefully boyfriend—was ignoring him made him pout.

He sat next to his cockatiel’s cage, feeding her breakfast. “Morning, Cheeto...Owlet is sad today…”

Cheeto gave a small chirp, as if to reassure Kaito. _Don’t be sad! You’ll talk again soon._

“Thanks, Cheeto…” Kaito smiled, playing with her yellow feathers.

But the corners of his lip tugged back down when Akaashi shouted, “BREAKFAST TIME, OWLET,”

* * *

Kaito sighed and plodded down the stairs for breakfast, pouting all the way. The table was set for a breakfast of three, just Kaito and his parents.

“Morning, owlet,” said Bokuto with a smile. “You took your ADHD meds, right?”

“Yep, like you said, Tou-san. Did you take yours?,” said Kaito, sitting down next to Bokuto. 

“Yep, I did too. Great job, Owlet,” said Bokuto, who was scrolling absentmindedly through his phone.

Kaito smiled, then asked, “What’cha doin’?”

“Checking the group-chat for work. Atsumu and Sakusa posted pics of Toshi,”

“Oh...that’s cool. Did Atsumu-san say anything else? Like maybe they went on a trip or something?”

“No, Owlet, I’m sorry,”

“What’s wrong, Kaito?” asked Akaashi, walking out with three steaming bowls of miso soup and rice. He could sense the confusion both of his husband and son. 

“I don’t know...Hiro doesn’t want to talk to me and Haru won’t pick up either. I don’t remember doing anything, Haru would’ve told me if I did.” admitted Kaito. His feathery silver bowl cut reminded him of Bokuto’s hair when it was down, and it even seemed droopier than usual. 

Bokuto and Akaashi frowned as they ate. “Hmm,” said Bokuto. “Well, Atsumu _did_ leave pretty early yesterday, but he hasn’t said anything in the chat. Maybe the boys just went on a trip?”

Kaito slurped his soup, still frowning. “Then why would Hitoshi tell me that Hiro feels ‘bleh’ and doesn’t want to talk to me?”

Akaashi frowned. “That’s troubling,” he said. “You always talk to each other,”

Bokuto modded in agreement. “You’ve never stopped talking for this long.”

“Yeah, and I don’t know what I did wrong. I’ll just call him later.”

“Good idea,” said Akaashi.

The rest of breakfast passed in tense silence.

* * *

Meanwhile, at the Miyas, it was anything but silent. Hiro felt guilty for telling Hitoshi to hang up, but he really did feel ‘bleh’. Talking to Kaito would likely end up with someone being upset, and he’d rather cut them off on his own terms.

Hitoshi was puttering about the house, waking up everyone else. That made it difficult for Hiro to go back to sleep, though that was all he wanted to do. He was cranky, in pain, and had a mounting headache. “Toshi, be quieter,” he said with a yawn.

“Okay!” said Hitoshi, lowering his voice, though still moving like a blur.

Atsumu and Emiko ran into Hitoshi and Haru in the kitchen. “Good morning, Mommy!” giggled Hitoshi as he helped Haru make omelets. 

“Morning, baby,” smiled Emi. She sidled up next to the stove, starting to cook the omelets.

“Hey, Dad,” yawned Haru, rubbing his eyes and pushing up his glasses. Vomiting earlier had left him absolutely exhausted. “Can you cook with Mom? I’m gonna try and take a nap, I feel pretty shitty. Nightmares _suck_.”

Atsumu sighed, “Our talk didn’t help?”

“Not really…”

Emi frowned, adding, “You threw up again, too, didn’t you?”

Haru sighed in defeat, “Mhm. Sorry, I know I said I wouldn’t,”

“It’s okay. Just go take a nap. I’ll call you when we’re done with breakfast,”

Haru nodded and padded to the couch, before laying down and curling up, trying to get comfortable. Bear was still there, and he petted her until after what seemed like ages, he drifted to an uneasy slumber. 

* * *

“Hey, Haru, can you wake up for me?” asked Emi softly, shaking him awake. “I finished the omelettes,”

Haru opened his eyes blearily. “Huh? Um…” _I did promise Sora I’d eat…_ “Okay…”

“Good, c’mon,”

He followed Emi to the dining room, though he felt ready to doze off again at any moment. “Morning,” he said, sitting down in his usual spot.

“Morning,” said Atsumu, mouth full of eggs. “Eat up, today’s the Punishment.”

Haru’s stomach rumbled, though he himself felt empty. “Punishment?”

“Mhm, after breakfast.”

“Um...okay.”

“So? What are you waiting for, _eat_!”

‘Okay, okay, fine, I’ll eat.”

They lapsed into silence, with only chewing, drinking, and general kitchen noise to fill it. _At least I’m not about to pass out anymore_. The nausea Haru was feeling also seemed to dissipate once he’d finished eating, which was another plus.

Atsumu stood up once Haru and Hitoshi had finished, saying, “Okay, go to the living room again, I’m getting Hiro,”

* * *

Haru sat down on the couch nervously. Atsumu didn’t joke around when it came to punishments. Absentmindedly, he began to pat Bear again. The St. Bernard loved it, and it helped Haru relax somewhat. _Maybe I can sneak in a nap_. He curled up on the far side, still giving Bear many a good pat. 

Everything was fine. Until Hiro showed up. It was very loud. Haru groaned, “Shut up,”

Hiro was being piggybacked by Atumu, but was complaining, “Put me down! I can walk, jeez,”

Atsumu rolled his eyes, lowering Hiro onto the couch. “Nope,”

“Ugh, seriously?!”

“Definitely not with that attitude,”

“Ugh! Dad, I’m not a fucking baby,”

“Shut up,” groused Haru, shifting on the cushions, making the couch squeak. “I’m trying to take a fucking nap,”

Hiro ignored his brother’s comments. He was arguing with Atsumu. Loudly. “I said, ‘I’m not a fucking baby!’”

“I don’t care right now, I don’t want you getting hurt!”

“Ugh, fine,”

Hiro sank into the cushions, steaming with annoyance. Haru was curled up next to him, face buried in his arms as he tried to sleep. That gave Hiro a wicked idea. Atsumu stalked off to get Emi and Hitoshi, which left a perfect window for Hiro to strike at his twin.

* * *

It started with a poke. Then another poke. Haru opened one murky brown eye. “Fuck off,”

Hiro smirked, “Nah,” He continued to prod, poke, and bother his twin without a care. 

“Haru, Haru, Haru, Haru,” he whispered, “wake up, wake up, wake up.”

Atsumu walked in with Hitoshi on his hip. “What are you doing?” he asked, eyes narrowed in suspicion. 

“Nothing,” said Hiro innocently. The lie rolled easily off his tongue.

Haru opened his eyes with a frown, yawning, “Bullshit,”

“Really? I wasn’t doing anything,”

“You wouldn’t let me nap for even _five fucking minutes_! Would it kill you to not be a fucking dick?”

“Mmm...no,” admitted Hiro. “But I don’t particularly want to,”

“Ugh, fuck off!” said Haru, who got up before stalking to the other couch. _That way he can’t try to wake me up_. He plopped unceremoniously onto it, letting it creak beneath his large frame. Hiro left him alone for a moment before grinning and reaching down for one of his crutches, poking Haru squarely in the small of his back.

Haru shifted, but didn’t give Hiro the satisfaction of seeing his annoyance. He wouldn’t let himself fall victim to his twin’s cruel games. Hitoshi snuck around behind Hiro to give him a hug, distracting Hiro from further irritating Haru. Hiro smiled, melting into the hug. “Thanks, Toshi,” he said quietly.

Hitoshi beamed, “Of course, Hiro-nii! But why you poke Haru-nii? He sleepy,”

Hiro frowned, “He’s being annoying,”

Atsumu spoke up, startling Hiro. “I don’t think so, Hiro. I’m pretty sure he’s just trying to sleep. You should let him, the punishment is going to take a lot out of you both,”

“And what happens if I don't?” snarked Hiro.

Atsumu didn’t deign him with a response. Instead, he pursed his lips, sitting down on the couch next to Haru. Emi entered, shutting the door behind her. “I started lunch so we can eat after,”

“‘Kay,” said Haru quietly. “Can I take a nap until it’s my turn?”

Atsumu and Emiko exchanged glances. “Fine,” said Atsumu. “Try and get some rest,”

Haru had a small smile on his face and he snuggled into the pillows next to his father, muttering a quiet, “Thanks,”

* * *

Atsumu lazily carded his hand through Haru’s dark locks as the boy snored quietly, head in his lap. “All right,” he said, “Punishment time,”

“Punishment?!” asked Hitoshi, “Daddy, I was good!”

“Yes, Toshi, you’re very good. But everyone has to do this, okay?”

“Oh...okay! What is it?”

Atsumu smirked, “You see, we’ve been fighting. A lot. Right?”

“Mhm,” said Emi, catching on. “We haven’t been very nice to each other,”

Hiro wrinkled his nose as if he’d just smelled something particularly rancid. “Not my fucking fault,” he sneered.

Atsumu took a deep breath. _Don’t get mad at him._

“So, our punishment is to say ten nice things about our family members. No repeats allowed, or you start back at zero. And this goes for everyone. For example, I have to say ten nice things about Emi, and then ten nice things for each of you boys,”

“Ugh, seriously?” said Hiro. “And Haru gets to nap through it all?”

“He’s not feeling well,” said Emi. “Let him rest,”

Hiro groused, “Fine, let’s just get this over with,”

“Great! Toshi, you wanna start?”

“Yeah! I have ten things for Mommy! And ten for Daddy! And ten for Hiro-nii! And ten for Haru-nii!”

Atsumu smiled, “Wanna tell us?”

“Yeah! I like Mommy’s hugs! I like Mommy’s food! I like Mommy’s dresses! They’re pretty! I like that Mommy goes to the park with me! I like Mommy’s pictures! I like Mommy’s clothes, and Mommy’s shoes. Mommy is very good at making stuff! I like when Mommy lets me play with Bear too! And when Mommy plays games with me!”

“Very good,” smiled Emi. “Toshi, you want to do Daddy now?”

“YEAH!” cheered Hitoshi. He scrambled onto Atsumu’s lap, beaming at him “I like when me and Daddy nap! I like Daddy’s hair! It’s like gold. Even if I don't see his real hair, it’s pretty! And it’s fun to play with! And I like Daddy’s food too! I like when Daddy plays with me, and when me and Daddy visit Osa-oji! I like Daddy’s bedtime stories! Daddy is very good at running and playing Tag! I like Daddy’s jokes! Even if Mommy gets mad…”

Atsumu blushed. 

Emiko snickered. “Wonder where he got that from…” 

“I also like Daddy’s hugs and Daddy’s kisses! And tickle fights with Daddy!” finished Hitoshi with a beaming smile.

Atsumu peppered Hitoshi’s face with kisses, “Thanks, buddy...That was really sweet,”

“Can I do Hiro-nii now?”

“Sure, why not,”

“Yay! Hiro-nii is good at volleyball! All _blam_ and _whoosh_! And Hiro-nii plays Mario with me! A-And he gives me hugs! And naps with me! And kisses too! Hiro-nii reads me stories and he good at cooking too! And Hiro-nii nice, even if he scary sometimes. Hiro-nii also good at reading! And Hiro-nii is the bestest!!”

He looked expectantly between Hiro and his parents. Hiro’s frown melted into a smile, and he pulled Hitoshi into a hug, whispering, “Thanks,”  
  


Atsumu smiled, “Very good, Hitoshi,”

“Now it’s Haru-nii’s nice things, right?”

“Mhm,”

“Can you wake him up, please? I wanna tell him!”

* * *

Atsumu frowned, mulling over it. _I think this would help Haru, but he needs sleep too. And I promised I’d only wake him up when it was his turn. Hmm…_

“Fine,” he said, “But you gotta be quick and let him _sleep_ , okay? No more talking to him until after you’re all done, okay?”

“Okay!” said Hitoshi. He approached Haru’s sleeping form, pressing a kiss to his temple. “Haru-nii, wake up!”

Haru opened his eyes with a frown, “What do you want? Are you done yet?”

“No, Haru, not yet. But Toshi wanted to tell you something,”

Hitoshi nodded, giggling quietly. “Yeah! I wanna tell Haru-nii my special things!”

Haru blinked owlishly, “Okay, go ahead,”

“Yay! I like singing with Haru-nii! And going on walks with Haru-nii! Haru-nii makes good food too. And he likes napping with me and Daddy. I like Haru-nii cuddles! And sleepovers! And kisses! A-And, Haru-nii is good at volleyball too! I like Haru-nii stories too! Haru-nii is _also_ bestest!!”

The three-year-old beamed with pride and squeaked when Haru yanked him into a hug. “Thank you, Toshi,” he said quietly, on the verge of tears. “Thank you so much,”

“Of course, Haru-nii! No crying! You and Hiro-nii are the bestest!!”

Haru sniffled, rubbing his eyes, “I’m n-not crying, I’m just tired...can I go back to sleep?”

“Of course,” said Atsumu quietly.

“Thanks,”

Soon, quiet snores returned the room to a peaceful state. 

Atsumu and Emiko shared their own favorite things about their little family, all of which made Haru smile in his sleep, and made Toshi attack both his parents with hugs and kisses.

“I love you, Mommy!” he said, hugging Emi. He scrambled over Emi to Atsumu, saying, “I love you, Daddy! And I love you, Haru-nii!”

He hopped off the couch, hugging Hiro around his middle. “I love you, Hiro-nii!”

Emi smiled. “Thank you Hitoshi. Now it’s Hiro’s turn, okay?”

* * *

Hiro frowned. “Really?”

Atsumu said, “I promised Haru I wouldn’t wake him up again. He’s going last.”

Hiro frowned. “Your favoritism is showing,” he said dryly. 

Atsumu flinched. _Does he have to bring that up right now?_

“I’m worried about _both_ of you, but at least you seem to be stable and your brother clearly isn’t.” he said bitingly.

“Don’t fight…” Emi said tiredly. “Just...don’t.”

Hiro ignored her. He snarled, “Well, Dad, yeah I may be loved, but that doesn't mean that I'll ever be the favorite. That's been made pretty clear since I was a kid...and you’re only making it more obvious,"

Atsumu could feel how agitated his wife was getting, and Hiro only seemed to be egging her on with his comments. Atsumu was used to the snark, but even he couldn’t deny his discomfort. _Let’s see how he likes angry Emi then_. 

“Your things to say?” she said, trying to avoid conflict. 

“For each of us. And no repeats, remember that. They’re on the board so you don’t flunk,” added Atsumu. 

Hiro’s gaze flickered over to the board disinterestedly. “Fine,” he said. “Any order, right?”

“Yep,”

“Great, I’ll start with...Toshi,” said Hiro. “I love that you watch me play volleyball, and I love taking naps with you. And I love your hugs. And I love reading with you, too. I like that you’re good at making people smile. And that you’re very funny and sweet, and that you let me beat you in Smash and don’t even cry. I like that you’re always trying to make people happy, even when they’re sad,”

“Thank you Hiro-nii!” said Hitoshi happily.

The small smile on Hiro’s face dissipated though. It was time for him to talk about his mother, and he wasn’t sure what nice things he could even begin to say. He was still angry with her, and she with him. 

_He’s got to be careful._ But when Atsumu realized that, he could see a wicked glint in Hiro’s eyes. _He’s not gonna do it._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yep, Hiro isn't gonna be nice. Poor Atsumu...this isn't gonna be pleasant for him.


	6. The Punishment: Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Punishment: Part 2
> 
> or
> 
> Hiro needs to shut up. And get a hug.

Hiro wasn’t going to do it. He was tired of being nice and holding it in. He felt miserable, so why couldn’t everyone else feel the same? _It’s not fair._ So, he made his choice. Even if it got Emi upset with him, it would at least mean he’d feel something else other than “bleh”.

He pursed his lips, thinking for a moment before an idea struck him. “I love that I’m the oldest, but you still ignore me in favor of _him_ , Mom. I love that you two can bond and I get ignored. And even when _I’m_ the one who’s hurt, you care more about him than me. I love that you never ask what _I_ want, but always what Haru wants. Haru this, Haru that. Never ‘What do you want to eat, Hiro’ or ‘Would you like to pick a movie, Hiro’. No. None of that. Everything you talk about is about Haru,” he sneered.

Emi was trembling and it only made Hiro happier. _Let’s see, Dad’s turn now._ He hummed, “So for Dad...let’s see, let’s see. I like that you ignore me at practice. I like that you never seem to care about helping my spikes unless you’re teaching Haru how to do something. I love that I was a nationally ranked spiker all three years of middle school and the most my dad could say was ‘Congratulations’ _once_.” said Hiro. 

Atsumu’s eyes were stormy, and it only made him look and feel angrier. Hiro was pleased to notice the tremble in his father’s usually finely controlled hands and the disgruntled groans of his twin as he shifted uncomfortably. Atsumu shushed Haru, whispering quietly to him.

Struck by a bolt of inspiration, Hiro continued, “I love that even whenever I get hurt, no one cares about me. Even though they should care about me, they don’t. And especially you, Dad. Haru isn’t the one that’s just lost everything he’s worked his entire life for. And you’re still hugging him and letting him sleep. 

**_“And you know what?!_** I’m tired. Tired of being second best in your eyes. No matter how much I try to stick out and be noticed, it took you _months_ to realize I hadn’t been talked to, let alone hugged. And we saw each other constantly. I love that I’m so forgettable to you,”

Before Hiro could finish speaking, Emi interrupted him, her voice cold and clipped. “Hiro. That is _enough_. I know you’re hurt, but hurting everyone else does _nothing_ to make it better. You’re only driving them out. And you have driven me out. I quit.” She stalked out with Hitoshi in her arms, slamming the door behind her, tears pooling in her greyish eyes.

Hiro and Atsumu stared at the door.

_Well, that was unexpected._

He opened his mouth to continue, but Atsumu interrupted him, coldly stating, “I’m leaving, this was clearly not helpful like I assumed. Stay here, I’ll come and get you and your brother later. _Don’t_ wake him up, or there will be far more problems than whatever your mother has.”

Atsumu got up to leave the room as well, giving both his boys one last glance.

Hiro let out a shaky breath. He was going to get the last word in, no matter how much it hurt. "JUST REMEMBER, I HATE MYSELF MORE THAN YOU GUYS EVER COULD! GUESS I'LL JUST FUCK OFF IF I’M SUCH A PROBLEM TO YOU!" His voice cracked towards the end, and Hiro hated that. It only showed that what he had said, he truly believed. 

Atsumu turned back, shock apparent on his face. He gripped the nearby wall tightly, his heart dropping down to his stomach. 

Hiro was a bit proud of himself for that. Not much could shake Miya Atsumu. Just further proof that his parents really did hate him. 

Atsumu took a shaky breath. “J-Just stay here. We all need to calm down. I’m going to take a nap with Hitoshi. When I come back, I’ll take you to your room. I just...n-need to calm down. You can have your phone or whatever...”

Hands shaking, Atsumu closed the door behind him with a click, muffling his muted cry.

Still seated on the couch, Hiro scooted over to the right side where his crutches rested. At this point, his glasses were fogged up, so he took them off and shoved them into the pocket of his black Adidas sweatshirt.

After he was able to find his balance, he rested his body-weight on the crutches. It wasn't his first time using them, but this definitely was his least favorite time. 

Looking over at his younger brother, who slept uncomfortably on the couch, he scoffed, "Tch, fucking pathetic," and hobbled away.

* * *

Once he was safely back inside his room, Hiro sighed and lowered himself onto the bed. His stomach hurt, and so did everything else. It wasn’t a pleasant feeling. He just wanted to curl up and hide from everyone and everything. He wanted everything he couldn’t control to _go away._

He liked confined spaces whenever he felt overwhelmed because he could control everything that happened inside, while everything outside fell apart. He was safe. 

The only problem was that he couldn’t really fit inside the closet. 

His body protested whenever he tried to move, and his cast wasn’t helping matters. Besides, the box that fell when he opened the closet door scared him away from trying it. He hated loud noises.

_But the bed is high enough, I guess I could just get under it._

That wouldn’t be ideal, but anything would be better than being out in the open. He needed to control _something_. Everything else was already falling apart. 

With a displeased groan, Hiro slowly lowered himself to the floor. He crawled under the bed and curled up as best he could, just letting his mind wander. 

It didn’t lead him down a nice path as he had hoped. Instead of random passing thoughts, his mind was fixated on what he had said earlier to his family during The Punishment. He knew he had been cruel, and maybe he was exaggerating things a bit more than he should have, but the emotions he felt when he told them what he thought of them, the betrayal, hope, anger, and worst of all, crushing disappointment? _They_ were real. 

But now, because of what he had said, Atsumu had left on the verge of tears, and if there was one thing Hiro was sure about his father, it was that _Miya Atsumu did not cry_. His aversion to tears was only exceeded by Haruhiro’s own aversion to tears. 

It was sickeningly ironic. 

The two people with the strongest aversions to crying had already cried multiple times over Hiro. And he honestly wasn’t sure how to deal with it. He felt miserable and without attention from his parents. He just wanted to be paid attention to like Haru. _Why is it so hard for just that?_

Hiro could feel the tears pooling in his eyes and he simply allowed them to fall as he sobbed under the bed. He had driven away everyone who cared about him, and he was sure they all hated him too. After all, he hated _himself_ for that. 

_I’m not even good enough to deserve it anyways. All I do is ruin things._

* * *

Down the hall in another room, Atsumu couldn’t fall asleep. He was exhausted, but sleep eluded him. _I guess this is what Haru feels like. Sucks ass._

Hitoshi snored on the bed softly next to him. The three-year-old was peacefully sleeping with a smile on his soft face, exactly what Atsumu wanted to be like. If his mind and body would cooperate with him, that is. 

And then, interrupting the tranquil silence, he heard it. A muffled crash from somewhere else on the first floor. His eyes snapped open, looking around frantically for the source of the loud and strange noise. Hitoshi snuffled in his sleep when he heard it, but didn’t wake up. Other than that little snuffle, there was nothing in the dark little room to have made any kind of noise, least of all that specific one. Besides, he could see the room where he had left the twins, and Haru was still asleep. 

Atsumu blinked confusedly. _Wait, why is there only one of my kids on the couch…_ He groaned in realization and annoyance, running his hands through his blond hair. Gently pushing his drooling three-year-old son off of his chest, Atsumu padded quietly down the hall to further investigate the situation. 

The guest bedroom door was locked, but Atsumu could hear crying coming from inside and he knew that Hiro had to be inside. _Did Hiro hit something? Is he hurt? It’s almost time for his medicine anyways._

Even though he had the key to the room, Atsumu couldn’t bring himself to invade Hiro’s privacy while he must have been having one of his breakdowns. Hiro _hated_ being interrupted during a breakdown, especially because doing that was far less helpful than it would seem.

Once the sounds inside the room began to taper off, Atsumu knocked on the door, and quietly said, “Hiro? I’m coming in, okay?”

He opened the door and stepped inside, squinting at the darkness until his eyes adjusted. There was a box from the top of the closet on the floor. _He probably knocked it over and got scared_. 

Getting into his hands and knees, Atsumu peered underneath the bed. Hiro lay there quietly trembling with sobs. “He hates me, he hates m-me, he ha-hates me,” Hiro mumbled, as if he were a broken record. 

Atsumu quirked an eyebrow, “Who? Kaito?”

Hiro shook his head, tears and snot streaming down his face. “Haru... he hates me, I-I’m the worst big brother ever,”

Atsumu felt a flash of white-hot rage course through him, but he forced himself to breathe through the anger. It wouldn’t help. “Hey, hey, it's okay,” he said softly. “I'm sure Haru doesn't hate you.”

Hiro shook his head, tears still undeterred. “Yes, h-h-he hates me...maybe it-it would've been better if I had broken my neck instead... At least people wouldn't have to deal with me then...I’m the wo-wo—” He shook with sobs, unable to continue talking. 

Atsumu glared at his eldest son, taking his hands in his own. “Hiroaki, look at me.” 

Hiro looked up, brown eyes still glossy. 

“You are not the worst big brother. You’re struggling because you are hurt. That does not mean you are bad.”

“B-But I made Haru cry, do you know how hard it is to do that?” he said, turning away and hiding his face in Atsumu’s chest. “And not just today...every time he’s cried since the accident, it’s been my fault, Dad...I m-made him feel like shit, I wouldn’t l-let him apologize, and I m-made his nausea and i-insomnia worse a-and he’s m-my little b-brother, I shouldn’t be making him f-feel like th-th-that...”

Trembling, the fifteen-year-old curled himself into his father’s chest. 

Atsumu rubbed his back, saying, “Yeah, maybe you're right, Hiro. You made Haru cry. But that does not make you a bad brother, not in the slightest. This fight, this thing does not define the two of you. Just because you've made him cry doesn't mean that you suck as a brother. If that was the case, he would be just as bad as you, and I would be the worst...” 

Hiro froze. 

Atsumu continued, “Do you know how many times I made your uncle cry when we were kids?” He smiled ruefully, “A lot more than the both of you know...”

Hiro started to cry again. “Why...why can't you just a-agree that I'm a shitty person and a sh-shitty brother...?” His voice cracked.

“Because you’re not. Neither of you,”

After a moment, Atsumu continued, “You know...I had this talk with Haru too...” 

Hiro perked up, confused, and intrigued. Atsumu continued. “It was after one of his nightmares...when he couldn’t sleep. He told me that he thought you hated him...” 

“B-But I d-don’t h-hate him, I c-couldn’t!” exclaimed Hiro. 

“That’s what he thinks...you wouldn’t let him apologize...”

"Be- because.. I.. he didn't need to apologize. I already forgave him! I- I was just being a dick because I felt ba-bad for my-myself!"

“I know you were Hiro, but your brother thought you were blaming him...and he already blames himself for hurting you...”

"If...if I-I wasn't so...so weak I wouldn't have jumped...” said Hiro quietly, “It's my fault! I decided to jump...he didn't do anything, he just said some shitty words. They weren't even th-that meaningful! Just m-my stupid brain and stupid depression making it worse…”

Atsumu smiled sadly again and gave Hiro another hug. 

Hiro continued, “You at least make sure I'm alive... Mom hasn't checked on me once since we fought at the hospital...and I made it worse today…”

“Well...your mom is trying to give you space. To be honest, she thinks you hate her, and she's trying to make it better,”

"Why would I hate her...? I'm the one everyone seems to hate, it's not like I don't deserve it, but still... She's supposed to be my mom.."

“ _Hiro_ , stop it. You don't deserve to be hated, you deserve to be loved. And none of us hate you, okay? It's just…” He trailed off and sighed, putting his head on his fist. 

“No...no it's fine…” said Hiro, reaching out and hugging his father. “I've come to terms with it...I—I'm okay with my not being wanted by my mom...or Haru…”

Atsumu sighed, “You don’t have to lie to me, Hiro. I know how much you miss him. He misses you too...he just wants everything to be okay again.”

“B-But how? How will _anything_ be okay after I y-y-yelled at him?”

“Well…I’m not sure, but talk to him...okay?”

“Okay...”

“Good. Let’s take a nap now, hm?”

“Sounds great...”

They stayed in quiet silence like that, with Atsumu rubbing Hiro’s belly. Eventually, Hiro’s breathing began to even out, and finally, after what seemed like hours, he was quietly snoring. It made Atsumu smile. Hiro was quiet and finally looked peaceful.


	7. School, start!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> School has started for the boys...now the only question is: Will it make things better? Or will it just drive them further apart?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> School has allready started in much of the world, so here's our way of bringing you a little joy.

Over at Kaito’s and his parents’ home, the air was filled with the scents of baking. School was only a week away, and this would be Kaito’s first year at Nekoma High School. He was ready to make a good impression on his classmates and teachers, so he decided to bake. His parents didn’t quite understand his fascination with baking, but since it wasn’t really all that harmful, they let him. But sometimes, their little owlet could be strange. Such as when he had demanded that their new house have a real oven. Bokuto and Akaashi were delighted to find this one. 

“Tou-san, I finished another batch of cookies, can you get me the cooling rack?”

Bokuto peered inside the kitchen, passing his son the requested metal. “Those are a lot of cookies, Owlet. Who are all of them for?”

“Well, some are for my new classmates, I’ve got some for all the teachers, and I remember you said Kuroo-sensei likes the decorations to be cat-themed, so they’re all in little cat shapes,” said Kaito as he cheerfully extricated the cookies. “And I also made some for you to take to work. Atsumu-san hasn’t come back yet, has he?”

“No, owlet,” said Bokuto, munching on a cookie. “I wish, but he just said he was having some family issues. Wouldn’t really elaborate,”

“Oh,” said Kaito. “The twins have kinda started talking to me more, but they’re not really elaborating with me either. I guess I’ll ask them at school,”

“Good idea,” said Akaashi, strolling into the kitchen himself and grabbing a cookie. 

“Hey! No eating the cookies! They’re not done yet!”

“But they’re _tasty_ , Owlet!”

“No! Please, no, Tou-san.” giggled Kaito. “Just go wait outside, I gotta finish the frosting.”

“All right, I’ll take him, Kaito. You can finish in peace,” smiled Akaashi. 

“Thanks, Dad,”

* * *

By now, school was only a few days away and Haru was dreading it more and more. He’d have to be around Hiro, and with Hiro still being mad at him, he wasn’t sure what he was going to do. 

Since getting his stitches removed and being allowed to use his crutches without his parents giving him disapproving looks, Hiro had tried without fail to go upstairs, though he wasn’t allowed to do so without Atsumu or Emiko to keep an eye on him. Haru was glad for that. He wasn’t sure if he would be okay with seeing Hiro right now. 

Hiro had been ignoring him for the last week and a half, and even Atsumu being home from practice didn’t improve things. Whenever Haru made a move to apologize, Hiro either left the room or ignored him entirely. 

_Serves me right, though, I’ve been a dick_. 

Haru’s sleep only seemed to be getting worse as this ignoring went on, while Hiro slept constantly. Nightmares where Hiro didn’t scream, breaking his neck, haunted Haru. So too, dreams where he could see the blood, and see it spurting and solidifying into a gargantuan monster that would swallow him whole, showering that he was a failure and a jackass...monsters that sounded exactly like Hiro. And then there were the dreams where Hiro would ignore him. But everyone else did too. He had nothing and no one. Not even Sora. 

Haru was quite jealous of Hiro’s ability to sleep so easily. He wanted to be able to sleep through the night without waking up from these nightmares, or worse, having a dreamless sleep, yet feeling exhausted when he woke the next morning. 

Hiro’s words bothered him far more than he cared to admit. 

Currently, he lay on his bed, trying to take a nap. He had done _everything_ he could think of to sleep, but he was still tossing and turning, unable to rest. Removing his glasses and contacts? Check. Played quiet music? Check. Turned off all the lights? Check. 

But sleep eluded him. 

* * *

Kaito was excited to start his first day of high school. “Red and black suits you!” said Akaashi pridefully once Kaito had descended the stairs in his Nekoma uniform—a crisp white shirt, striped red and gold tie, black vest, blue blazer, and grey pants. 

“Aww, thanks,” said Kaito, blushing. “I’m really excited. I hope everyone likes the cookies I made!”

“They’re going to love them, Owlet,” smiled Bokuto. “I’ll drop you off before work, okay?”

“Cool! Thanks!” smiled Kaito. 

Following Bokuto outside, father and son strolled to the train station. Kaito carried several trays of cookies, while Bokuto carried several more for his teammates. Kaito happily munched on a stray cookie as they approached Nekoma’s gates. 

Looking around, the silver-haired teen spotted his best friends, the Miyas, and grinned at his father, “Thanks for the help, I got it now,”

“Sure, owlet,” smiled Bokuto. “I’ll pick you up after practice, okay?”

“Okay! Thanks! Bye,”

Bokuto left and Kaito grinned, strolling towards the classrooms, trying to catch up to the twins. He hadn’t spoken to either one of them since the disastrous call with Hiro, but now he was beginning to understand why. 

Hiro hobbled behind Haru, angrily snapping, “Wait up,”

Haru groaned. “You either tell me I’m going too slow or too fast, make up your fucking mind,”

Hiro huffed, “Well, _sorry_. My leg is in a cast, I can’t really help it,”

Haru flinched. 

Kaito furrowed his eyebrows, putting the pieces together as they walked into class. The picture they painted wasn’t particularly nice. The twins usually never argued, and whenever they did, they didn’t have such a dampening air around themselves. Something bad had happened to the twins, though Hiro seemed to be the only one physically hurt. 

But Haru wasn’t okay either. Kaito just wasn’t sure why.

The twins continued to bicker as Kaito passed out the cookies he had made. The other students smiled appreciatively at the kind gesture, thanking Kaito for the cookies. When it came time for the twins to receive their cookies, they had stopped arguing, but they still glared at one another. Haru said, “Kaito, the hell did you do, these taste like the ones Baba has in New York,” as he devoured the bag. Meanwhile, Hiro had only finished two of them. 

Kaito blushed, “Oh! I found a recipe, they’re super easy! I-I’m sorry you guys are mad at me, I made these ones special, ‘cause I wanted to apologize,”

The twins glared at each other, both confused by Kaito’s actions. Kaito asked, “Were...were you guys not mad at me...?” He looked rather deflated, like a kicked puppy. 

Haru, mouth still full of cookie goodness said, “The fuck you’re on about, dude?”

“Wait...so you’re not mad at me?”

Haru nodded, “I’m not mad at you. Maybe _him_ ,” he pointedly glared at Hiro. “But not you. It’s just been stressful. Thanks for the cookies.”

Kaito grinned, “Hey, don’t eat them all, there’s more I’ve got with me, ya won’t run out,”

“I haven’t been able to hold down shit for that long,” replied Haru, on his fourth cookie. “But these are _delicious_. And my body’s cooperating,”

“Don’t wanna ruin it, then,” replied Kaito sagely, plucking the cookies away from Haru with a grin.

“Oi! Give them back!”

“Later, we have class,”

Haru grumbled but acquiesced. They settled into a strange silence.

* * *

Class was starting, and the first thing Haru heard was a singular, languid, “Oya,”

The twins smirked. “Oya, oya,”

Kaito followed suit, “Oya, oya, oya,”

Kuroo-sensei had arrived. 

With a thick, fluffy mop of black hair, he looked like a mad scientist, which was not at all an inaccurate description of the famed science instructor, Kuroo-sensei. He passed out small notebooks, saying, “Good morning class!”

A muted chorus of ‘mornings’ answered him. 

“Seeing as this is your first year, I have decided that you will learn the methods to my madness, which are what you’ll need to survive the next three years of science anyways,”

Kaito and the twins seemed to be the only ones excited for this. Kuroo continued, “Your first assignment is to take the text I have passed out, and study it like a scientist,”

One student in the back asked, “Well what _is_ it?”

The trio snickered as Kuroo’s smile widened, “Oya,”

The other students looked at each other, baffled. Meanwhile, Haru studied the text, scribbling across the margins. “After you read through the text,” continued Kuroo, “There will be a short quiz on the attached paper. Fill it out, you’re allowed to reference your book. That’s all,”

Haru’s gaze flickered to the aforementioned slip of paper. It was actually extremely simple, which made him snicker. _He’s such a tease._ Without too much trouble, he was able to finish the first half of the quiz. 

That was exactly when the trouble _did_ start. 

“Stop breathing so loud,” muttered Hiro, busy writing his answers. 

“Shut the fuck up, I’m not that loud,” snapped Haru. “And stop bouncing your legs, the table is fucking shaking and I can’t fucking write,”

"You should've had your work done earlier then,” replied Hiro. “And sorry I'm shaking my leg, but y'know it's because _I can't move my other one,_ "

“Guys...stop arguing, Kuroo-sensei’s almost coming,” said Kaito, trying to maintain the peace. 

“Shut up, Kaito,” Hiro snarled. “This has nothing to do with you,”

Haru shoved him with his shoulder, hissing, “Apologize, shithead,”

Hiro ignored him. 

By the time Kuroo came around to pick up their papers, he asked for a few volunteers to read their example sentences, and for everyone else to translate them. The twins and Kaito immediately raised their hands, while everyone else was disinterested in the idea. 

Kuroo smirked, “All right, the Miyas and Bokuto, you’re up,”

Hiro smirked, setting Haru’s nerves on edge. _If he insults me, he’s not going to like what I say._

 _“_ My example sentence is ‘Oyaoy yaoya ya oya ya-oy,’” said Hiro, voice light and deceptively sweet. 

Haru knew better and he glowered. _My dumps are not too long, thanks_. 

For his own sentence, he said, “Oyaya ya-oyaoy-a yaoyaya-oya,” _Let’s all see how much you like_ ** _that_**. _Your fucking spikes are too hard._

Much to Haru’s pleasure, Hiro’s fists curled, though his placid expression remained. 

Trying to keep the peace, Kaito said, “Oyoya yaoyaya oya oyoyoy,” Though the sentiment that they were both good was appreciated, Haru and Hiro were both glaring at each other. 

Aloof and indifferent to the tension, Kuroo strolled around, peeking over students’ shoulders and offering corrective advice. The trio, however, only received one of Kuroo’s few genuine smiles. It was enough for them. Haru smiled back, earning another smile from Kuroo. 

They settled into a comfortable silence. 

* * *

By now, Kaito was hungry. Kuroo-sensei’s lecture had taken most of his energy, so he simply opted to rest his head on his palms during the rest of the morning lectures. The twins argued pettily amongst themselves, but at least stopped when Kaito asked them to. And then, when their history lecture _finally_ ended, Kaito was the first one outside to eat lunch.

Searching for a similar mop of grey bedhead to his own, that had invited the trio to lunch, Kaito grinned when he spotted it. Haru and Hiro followed Kaito, who was leading them over.

Hiro and Haru glanced at one another. Could it be their sneaky friend? 

“Yo! Sachi!” 

The silver-haired boy, buried in conversation with a small brunet next to him, turned around at the sound of his name. “Yo,” he replied languidly, catlike, much like his father, Kuroo.

“Sachi?” asked Haru, who recognized the boy, “Who are these guys?”

“Oh,” grinned Sachi. “These are the guys from volleyball I mentioned. And my sister of course,”

“Ah,” replied Haru tightly as they sat down to eat. He hadn’t quite explained what was going on to anyone else. _Such as the fact that I can’t join yet_. “Figured. I’m Haru and the asshat next to me is Hiro, and the tall idiot behind us is Kaito. We’re Sachi’s friends from summer volleyball camp,”

“And mine!” piped up Kimi, Sachi’s sister. Her black hair bounced as she huffed, “You’re my friend too, ya dummies!”

Hiro giggled. “Right, sorry, Kimi.”

“Well, yeah,” said Sachi, who was eating his lunch, “But you three and my sister convinced me to try it out in the first place, y’know,”

“True,” grinned Kaito, pulling out his own lunch. “And didn’t Misha save you at your first practice?”

The brunette boy next to Sachi squeaked in embarrassment, “Kaito! I have a _reputation_ , you know! And so does Sachi!”

Hiro smirked, “Demon overlord, we know that, Misha. And who’re these guys?”

Kimi grinned, gesturing at the boys surrounding her, “Meet Nekoma’s volleyball team, as introduced by your wonderful manager,”

Pointing at a tall brunet with shaggy hair, Kimi introduced him as, “Nawagata Jirou, 2nd year, Outside Hitter,”

The boy with light brown hair next to Sachi introduced himself, “Yaku Misha, 2nd year as well, Libero,”

One of the tallest boys, wiry with especially spiky dark brown hair introduced himself as their captain and opposite hitter, Inuoka Haruto. Next to him, with a buzzcut, was Yamamoto Eiji, their third-year ace.

Haru definitely thought he was rather Hiro-like. Tall, but had an air of ‘softness’ around him. _Though Hiro is being anything but soft right now._

The last of the third-years, who cheerfully informed them that he was Shibayama Takumi, had an undercut and was another one of their spikers.

Then, it came to the other second-years of the team.

Suzukawa Tenshin, a wing spiker, had brown eyes and greyish-blue hair. Unlike Sachi however, it was bluer, not to mention dyed. He and Jirou were sharing their lunch. Tenshin was also several inches shorter than Jirou, though no one was nearly as short as the boy next to him, or even their liberos. Next to Tenshin sat Watanabe Katsuo, who had small earrings like Sachi, black hair, and most interestingly, bottle-green eyes. 

Nakayama Daiki was their blond reserve libero, who appeared to get along quite well with Misha, especially because they were the two shortest members. They cheerfully exchanged good-natured barbs with Sato Kohaku, their white-haired setter.

Haru narrowed his eyes, “As soon as I join, we’re having a duel,”

Kohaku looked up from his popsicle. “Pardon?”

“We’re having a duel. When I join,”

“No, no, I got that part. Whaddaya mean ‘when I join’?”

Hiro interjected, “When I’m allowed to play,”

Haru frowned, “Yeah, I can’t play until then,”

Kohaku hummed. It was clear why Hiro couldn’t play, with his leg being in a cast, but he figured something must have happened between the twins for Haru to be out of consideration to play as well. 

“All right,” he said with a smile, “I look forwards to our duel,”

Haru smiled, inclining his head in thanks.

The rest of lunch passed peacefully.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yep...I made Kuroo a science professor. And a fucking memelord.
> 
> Additionally, most Japanese houses don't have ovens. Kaito's just weird, he wants an oven. (Akaashi secretly thinks it was Kaito's trip with the twins to visit their grandparents in New York when they were seven for this baking obsession.)


	8. Home Again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The first day of school is over. Hopefully the boys won't fight anymore.

At home, though, things were not peaceful.

“WE’RE HOME,” shouted Haru, shoving the door open.

Emi smiled from upstairs, “Hello, you two. How was school?”

Both twins answered, “ **Shit.”**

“That bad, huh?”

“Well _someone_ decided to be a petty bitch, so yeah, pretty shit,” replied Haru. He flopped onto the couch, pulling out his textbooks.

“I wasn’t being a petty bitch,” said Hiro, sitting down next to his twin. “You were being an ass, and I called you out. _You_ made today shit,”

Haru twitched. “Shut up,”

“Nope,”

He huffed and opened his English textbook. Thankfully, the advanced courses offered study on the finer grammatical idiosyncrasies of English, which Haru was happy to read. _Sometimes English is weird._ Hiro worked on a math assignment next to him, occasionally nudging his brother. 

The air was tense, but they managed. Until they didn’t. 

Emi went to her office after a little while to have some work calls. By now, Haru had finished his English and math homework, and instead was working through his thick wad of history homework. 

That was when it started. “It’s hot,” grumbled Hiro. “Get me water,”

Haru rolled his eyes, ignoring his twin. He wasn’t in the mood for Hiro’s pettiness. 

“I _said_ , get me water, it’s hot,”

Haru started to hum, tuning Hiro out more forcefully. He was almost done with this essay, and then he only had science left over. He was saving the best (and easiest) for last, being already well-attuned to Kuroo’s madness. 

“Ugh,” sneered Hiro. “Bitch doesn’t care, huh? No wonder you only have three friends in the entire world,”

Haru sighed, humming louder. His tummy began to gurgle and groan in displeasure. 

“I’m the one that can’t get the water, that’s literally the only reason I’m bothering to ask you. If it were up to me, we wouldn’t even be talking right now,”

By now, it was taking all of Haru’s willpower to not up and leave to go throw up. He didn’t want to deal with it. “Just get it yourself, the kitchen is _right there_ ,” he said, voice clipped and even, getting up and stalking to the other side of the living room to spread out his history notes. 

“Goddamn it Haru! You're the reason I broke my fucking leg! Could you just get me a glass of fucking water!?" snapped Hiro.

Haru stood up, replying, “Fine. Shut up and stop _complaining_ and reminding me _._ I _know_ that I’m the reason your leg’s broken,”

He went to the kitchen, hands trembling, and on the verge of tears. _Why does he have to be so good at stressing me out?_ Grabbing a glass from the cabinet, he poured water from the fridge into it, adding some ice for good measure, trying to make Hiro relax. 

He returned with the glass, wordlessly leaving it on the table next to Hiro, and returned to his homework with a quiet hum. This time, he put on his headphones to tune everything out. _Maybe he’ll shut up._

Predictably, Hiro did not shut up.

“It’s too cold, I wanted tap water,”

“You _know_ Mom doesn’t like us drinking that,”

“It tastes the same, why can’t you just get it?”

“Maybe ‘cause I’m in enough trouble as it _fucking is_ , so could you just drink the water?”

“ _No,_ I said I wanted tap water,”

“No, fuckass, you said you wanted water. This is the water you get. Shut up and let me finish my homework,”

“Ugh! _This_ is why you don’t have friends,”

There was silence after that.

“Well,” said Haru quietly, “Y'know if your goal is to push everyone away...it might just be working…”

He got up and left the room, tears pooling in his eyes.

* * *

Hiro watched his twin leave with a sinking feeling in his stomach and small tears forming in his cloudy grey eyes. He didn’t want to be such an asshole, but it was so, so hard to not be one at that moment. He just wanted to feel okay, and school had made that particularly difficult. It was all he could do to not get into a fight with Haru at school, even with Kaito there to defuse tension.

But now, there was no Kaito. No way to stop the words from slipping out of his mouth. He _knew_ Haru was insecure about not having many friends, but Haru didn’t care about him...right? After all, he had said that if it weren’t for Atsumu ordering them to stay together at all times at school, he would be off by himself, leaving Hiro alone. 

_That’s a pretty good indicator he doesn’t care._

Hiro blinked back the tears pooling in his own eyes. He needed to cry again, but he wouldn’t do that out in the open, even if he knew Haru had fled to his own bedroom, his other to her office, and Atsumu and Hitoshi outside with Bear. He needed to be back under his own bed. 

He limped slowly to his bedroom upstairs. He just wanted to let it out where no one could interrupt him. Sliding under his bed, he curled on his side, hugging his legs to his chest as close as possible. Now that he’d gotten the longer cast removed, it was easier, but still very uncomfortable. _And I’ve got ages with a bum leg...Why’d I have to listen to him?_

He hated how weak he was. Always trying to get someone’s approval. And now, because of that same attention-seeking, he not only didn’t get any attention, but they all hated him. 

Despite everything he had said to Haru, he didn’t hate his brother. He was too kind and the thought of hating Haru made his stomach turn unpleasantly. _But it’s pretty obvious he hates me, I’m being an asshole_. 

He started to cry quietly. Knowing that his twin likely hated him was hellish. And it wasn’t something Hiro could easily defend himself against. He was an asshole, plain and simple. Save for Hitoshi and Atsumu, everyone else in their family hated him, and in Hiro’s eyes, for good reason. 

_So why do I miss them?_

He cried and cried and cried until he was exhausted and slowly, _so very slowly_ , he crawled up to his blue bed and fell asleep.

* * *

In his own bedroom, Haru felt safe. There was no Hiro to make him aware that he hated his twin. And for Haru, it made sense, as much as it pained him. _He_ was the reason Hiro had broken his leg, and he knew and accepted that statement fully. But what he couldn’t, and wouldn’t accept was Hiro’s assholery. He knew he deserved to be hated by his twin. _If the roles were swapped, I’d be doing the same damn thing..._ But at the same time, it stung.

It stung to have your twin tell you that you didn’t have friends. Besides Sora and Kaito [who was really more Hiro’s best friend than Haru’s], Haru had no one except Hiro. Hiro at least got along with others far more easily than Haru, especially because he wasn’t so abrasive.

_So why does it hurt?_

He curled up on his bed, trying to will away the nausea. He didn’t want to throw up again, especially when his stomach had begun to cooperate with him again. For once, it complied. The nausea began to dissipate bit by bit, leaving an exhausted fifteen-year-old behind. 

He just wanted to sleep, but knowing Hiro hated him made it difficult. Pulling up the red duvet cover, Haru buried himself under it, seeking solace from his mind and emotions.

* * *

After about an hour, Hiro had woken up from his post breakdown nap. He was still tired, but he needed to get up and finish his homework before dinner was ready. Grabbing his crutches, Hiro stood up and walked to his door. It was blue, much like Haru's was red. Both shared the similarity of having their nickname printed on it in bold black letters. He opened his door and slowly went downstairs, careful to avoid stepping on the slippery parts of the stairs, which would only make him fall and gather everyone’s attention.

Thankfully, he managed to get down without being noticed. He snuck to the living room, picking up where he left off with his homework. The same glass of water Haru had left on the table was still there. He took a morose sip from it. _Did I really have to be such an asshole? That was all kinda uncalled for_.

He sighed, focusing back on his homework. By the time he reached the last assignment, it was nearly dinnertime. Emi was downstairs in the kitchen, preparing dinner with Hitoshi and Atsumu. Hiro could hear the three of them working on dinner, and quietly discussing something. 

That gave him an opening to make his way to the kitchen, intent on talking to his mother and asking her to sign Kuroo’s permission slip for their labs. “Um...Mom?” he asked. “I need you to sign something for my class,”

Emi ignored him. Hiro tried not to let it bother him. _Maybe she can’t hear? It’s pretty loud in here and Toshi’s not very quiet either._

“Mom?” he tried again. “There’s this thing you have to sign,”

Stonewalled again.

Atsumu sighed, walking out of the pantry. “Hey, Hiro, do you need something?”

“Uh...yeah, but why....why is Mom ignoring me?” His voice cracked at the end of his question. _I don’t like this, I really don’t._

Atsumu frowned at his wife, leading Hiro outside the kitchen. They sat at the table, and Atsumu explained, “Hiro...she’s not mad at you, okay? What did you need?”

“Oh...um, the permission slips from the school for lab class. Kuroo-sensei passed them out today, we need to bring them in by Friday,”

“Ah, I see,” said Atsumu. “I’ll sign them for you guys,”

“Okay...thanks, Dad,”

“No problem,”

They lapsed into silence. Hiro could feel that Emi was upset, but he wasn’t sure what he could do about it. _Especially because she likely hates me, no matter what Dad says…_

* * *

“Haru-nii!” shouted a little voice. “Wake up! Dinnertime!”

Haru yawned, uncurling himself from his burrito of blankets. He squinted at the clock, glad he had the foresight to remove his contacts. _It’s almost dinnertime_ …

He pulled on his glasses, saying, “I’m coming, Toshi,” and followed his three-year-old brother downstairs. “What did you make?”

“Tuna!”

“That sounds yummy!”

“Yeah!”

Hitoshi trotted to the dining room, Haru following behind him. But what he saw at the table only made his stomach turn unpleasantly. _Damn it. I should’ve known._

Hiro sat at the table, a neutral, brooding expression on his face. He ignored Haru when he also sat down. The air was tense. “Haru-nii, Hiro-nii, was school good?”

“ **No.** ” said the twins at the same time. Hiro continued flatly, “I don’t want to talk about it, Toshi. No questions,”

Haru glared at his brother over the top of his glasses. _I know you hate me, but would it kill you to not show it in front of Toshi?_

Hiro ignored him. 

“No, Toshi,” said Haru. “School was not good. Hiro wasn’t being nice,”

“Neither were you,” bit back Hiro. “You were a damn asshole!”

Another wave of nausea. Haru took a deep breath. _Don’t rise for the bait._

“B-But, Hiro-nii, why were you not nice?”

Hiro rolled his eyes. “Ask your idiot of a brother,”

“Hiro-nii! Haru-nii is not a idiot!”

“HITOSHI!” shouted Atsumu warningly from the kitchen.

“Sorry, Daddy! Hiro-nii called Haru-nii bad words again!”

“HIROAKI,” said Atsumu warningly. 

Hiro sighed, resting his head on his hand, drumming his fingers on the table. Haru twitched. _I hate that noise_. “Could you please stop?”

The drumming got louder. 

“Hiro, could you please stop,”

Hiro looked into Haru’s eyes, and kept drumming. Haru could feel the annoyance building within him by the second. But he wouldn’t let himself explode. He refused to. 

“ _Hiro_ , please stop it.”

Atsumu and Emiko entered with dinner, tuna, rice, and salad. They began to eat quietly, but Hiro didn’t stop. At this point, the sound was extremely distracting, and in tandem with the building nausea and new headache Haru was getting, he repeated, “Hiro. Just stop it, _please_ ,”

Emiko and Atsumu looked up from their dinner. “Hiro, listen to your brother please,” said Atsumu.

“Ugh,” said Hiro, pushing away his plate. “Fine! If everyone else doesn’t want me here, I’ll just go,”

He got up, glaring at everyone, daring them to stop him from going upstairs with his crutches. “I’m going to my cubby and hope someone actually cares about me because _clearly_ none of you do,”

Haru could do nothing but watch his brother leave with an angry look on his face, leaving a heartbroken twin behind. _He really does hate me_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Toshi is babie and i love him very much


	9. The Owl's Nest and The Fox's Den

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's home again for Kaito, and he's worried about his best friends. Tou-san and Dad help a lot. 
> 
> Haru's not vibing and neither is Hiro.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kaito is babie and I love him. Also stan BokuAka.

_Do they hate each other or something?_

Kaito was baffled by the events on the first day of high school. He was expecting it to be more enjoyable, but it fell far short of that. 

Lunch with Sachi and Kimi and the rest of the volleyball team had been nice, but there was something extremely off about his best friends. 

Opening the door, he said, “Hey! I’m home!”

Bokuto smiled, popping his head out from the kitchen. “Hey, owlet! Ya ready to do your homework?”

“Yeah, I have it organized like you showed me,” smiled Kaito. “It’s actually kinda helpful. Oh, and uh, there’s a slip from Kuroo-sensei for labs,”

Bokuto snickered while Akaashi frowned. “If he puts you in danger, I do not care that he is your best friend, Koutarou. I will have words with him,”

“ _Keiji_ , they’ll be fine,” chortled Bokuto. Akaashi made a disgruntled noise instead.

He signed the paper with a flourish while Kaito spread out his work across the table. Math was easiest for him, so he did that first while recounting his day to his parents. Then came the history and English work, which were a bit harder, but still manageable with Akaashi’s helpful input. Finally, he had his favorite assignments left over, science. 

At this point, he had talked about basically everything that had gone down, but his parents still noticed something off about their bubbly boy. Finally, Bokuto said, “Owlet, there’s something wrong, isn’t there?” 

“Oh, uh…” Kaito bit his lip. “Kinda? I dunno,”

“Then let’s work it out like those English problems, okay?” said Akaashi. 

“Okay...there’s something odd about the twins. And I can’t figure out what it is and it’s bothering me a lot. Today felt so weird. Not good-weird,”

“Bad-weird?”

“Mhm, the twins wouldn’t stop arguing with each other. Plus Hiro was being really really petty today, and I don’t think Haru liked it. He looked like he was on the verge of puking a lot,”

“I see,” said Akaashi. “That’s definitely not normal,”

“Yeah, and Atsumu hasn’t mentioned anything about them at work, so I don’t know any more than you,” Bokuto added. 

Kaito sighed, putting down his pencil, “Figures,”

He put his head in his hands, rubbing his temples, making his feathery grey bowl cut stick out. “I just don’t know what’s up. I was hoping my first day of high school would be better, but it’s not…”

“I know the feeling,” said Akaashi. “It sucks. Now, you’ve finished everything for tonight, right?”

“Yeah...uh, can I go to my room and play on my Switch until dinnertime?”

“You ate lunch, right?”

Kaito smiled, “Yeah, like I promised,”

“Then go ahead, we’ll call you when it’s time,”

“Thanks!”

Kaito grinned, running upstairs to his room to play with Hiro in their small _Animal Crossing_ village. He called Hiro, beaming when the shorter boy’s face came into view. “Hey, Hiro,”

“Hey,”

“Wanna go collect tarantulas?”

“Heh, sure. I need a new house anyways,”

After a bit, Kaito finally asked the question that had been burning at the back of his mind, “So uh, today was _weird_. Mind telling me about it? I-I feel like I’m missing something, I’m just not sure what,”

“Oh, this is about Haru, isn’t it,”

“Not exactly…both of you have been weird all day,”

Hiro hmmed, “That’s true. He’s being annoying,”

“I don’t think so, he actually seems kinda like he’s trying to be nice,”

“Tch, he hates me, how can you be sure?”

“Because he doesn’t hate you, what makes you think that?”

Hiro sighed and stopped moving around. “Look, I said some things I shouldn’t have, okay? And he’s mad and hates me, I can’t blame him,”

“Oh, c’mon, it can’t be that bad,”

“Yes, it _can_ , okay? I-I told him that he doesn’t have friends…”

Kaito pursed his lips. “Yeah...I can see where he would get upset,”

“Well, _duh!_ He gets really annoyed whenever anyone brings it up,”

“I don’t think he’s annoyed, actually. I think he’s sad. You’ve got me, and he has Sora, but they don’t talk like we do. I think he’s just lonely,”

“Lonely and hates me,” grumbled Hiro. 

“Hiro, _no_ , he doesn’t hate you. Have you guys even talked?”

“Well…no, but he keeps leaving any time I try to talk. He’s mad at me. We don’t even say ‘Hi’ anymore. A-And this isn’t the only time I’ve been mean to him,”

“What do you mean?” _Did they fight before?_

“I didn’t just say this, that’s why he’s so messed up,”

“Oh…”

They lapsed into silence, neither quite sure of what to say.

After a moment, Hiro sighed, “Okay, so. I’m pretty sure he hates me because this isn’t the only time we’ve argued. I yelled at him at the hospital when I found out everything. I-I can’t play for the next six months...and I yelled at him,”

Kaito was fixated on the first part, however. “Not until October?”

“No...my leg should be fine in about three months, it’s been almost a month already, so two more...but the therapy would take another three months. A-and when he came, I screamed at him.”

“You were processing it,” said Kaito. _Honestly, I wouldn’t worry_.

“Yeah, but that’s the problem. I didn’t just scream at him...I-I swore. I said words I shouldn’t even think about saying. I-I called him a jackass…”

Kaito stared. “Oh...um. Yeah, I can see where he’d get upset,”

“Yeah...and that’s not even the worst part. I asked him why he wasn’t happy, and he...he looked so _empty_. I can’t get it out of my head. He threw up after, too. I could hear him. Then when we got home, Mom and Dad would worry about Haru even though he didn’t get surgery, _I_ did. And then...wh-when it was time for Dad to punish us, I kept trying to wake him up, even though I _knew_ he was having problems sleeping. Then I yelled at all of them again and h-he’s ignored me since.”

“Oh…oh, dude, this _sucks_ ,”

“Yeah…” Hiro sighed.

From downstairs, both Hiro and Kaito heard Akaashi shout, “Time for dinner!”

“Okay! Coming! I’ll be back soon, Hiro,”

Hiro smiled, “Sure, sure. Call you later?”

“Yeah, that’d be great. Thanks!”

“No problem,”

* * *

Sitting down to eat dinner was usually something that calmed Kaito, even if he wouldn’t eat all the food that he was served. But right now, he was anything but calm. Talking to Hiro brought up many more questions than answers.

Bokuto and Akaashi easily noticed that Kaito only seemed to be more on edge after talking to Hiro, even though it usually was the other way around. Kaito picked at his dinner, occasionally taking pieces of meat and stuffing them in his mouth, but not eating very much.

“Um, so...I kinda need some second opinions,” he said.

“Oh? What specifically, Owlet?” asked Bokuto.

“I was talking with Hiro upstairs, and I got some explanations for everything, but…”

“But?” asked Akaashi.

“But, I’m confused, honestly. He thinks Haru hates him...but from what I’m hearing, it sounds like Haru thinks it’s the other way around,”

“Oh...why?”

“Well, when Hiro found out about everything, he yelled at Haru, and Haru just took it, I guess? He even called Haru ‘jackass’ and we _know_ Hiro doesn’t talk like that unless he’s pissed,”

“But he did have reason to be angry,” said Akaashi.

“Yeah, he did, but he thinks he shouldn’t have yelled at Haru like that. He said Haru just took it until he threw up.”

“Oh,” said Bokuto, wincing. “Yeah, that’s not good,”

“Exactly. A-And that’s not all, he told me he kept fighting with Haru because he thought Haru was getting all the attention when he wasn’t the one who’d been at the hospital. So he kept trying to bother Haru and he’d just take it. He yelled at Haru again, and they haven’t talked since, except for school, but Haru mentioned that they were only talking because Atsumu-san made them…”

He morosely stuffed another piece of meat in his mouth.

“So that’s why you want second opinions, Owlet?”

“Yeah...Me and Hiro are gonna play after dinner, I’m gonna call him again, and I want to be able to give him some solid advice either way. What do you think?”

“Well,” said Bokuto. “We could invite them and all three of you have some time together here. No parents, no distractions, just three boys hangin’ out. Maybe it’ll help the twins see that they don’t hate each other,”

“I agree,” said Akaashi, “that would definitely help them. But I also think they just need some time, Kaito,”

“I-I guess that makes sense. Um, maybe in a few weeks?”

“Definitely,” said Bokuto. “In the meantime, just be there for them, okay?”

“Okay...thanks,”

“Of course,”

* * *

Haru was reeling. When Hiro left the dinner table, he had taken Haru’s appetite with him. The boy couldn’t bring himself to eat anything, though only moments before, he had been ravenously eating everything in an attempt to stave off Hiro’s wrath. 

Pushing his food aimlessly around his plate, he sighed. He could feel a migraine forming, and the nausea only compounded his misery. All he wanted to do was get up and maybe go throw up. But that would make his mother upset, and Haru did not want that. An upset Emiko was not good for anyone. She’d been ignoring Hiro unless absolutely necessary, directing her queries to Haru or the both of them, but never Hiro himself. 

But that wasn’t what bothered Haru. He couldn’t get Hiro’s words out of his head. The little voice in his head hissed, _That’s exactly what you deserve and you know it_. Haru couldn’t bring himself to argue. It was too tiring to argue with something that was true. 

After a while, Emi said, “Haru, please eat your food,” 

“M’not hungry anymore,”

“Haru, you know you need to keep your health up, and you don’t weigh all that much. Eat.”

“Dad, I said m’not hungry,”

His parents exchanged worried glances. Atsumu mouthed something to his wife, but Haru didn’t catch it. He cradled his head in his hands, trying to will away his headache. Taking an experimental stab at the tuna, he tried to eat it to appease Emi’s worried looks. 

“O-Okay, I’ll try to eat,” he said quietly. “My head hurts, though,”

“Stress?” asked Atsumu. 

Haru sighed, shaking his head. _It’s more than that_. “Kinda? I don’t know,”

He sat quietly eating his food, still pensive about everything that had happened. It was hard to keep the food down and maintain a conversation, so Haru elected to listen instead. By the time everyone else had polished off their plates, Haru had barely eaten half of his own food. He just wasn’t hungry anymore. “I’m gonna try to sleep earlier, it might help. G’night,”

He left quietly, but not without noticing his parents’ worried glances at him. He felt bad for them, knowing that they were worried about him. But he needed a break from everything. Opening the door and shuffling inside his bedroom, Haru collapsed face-first on his bed. He rolled over, rubbing his face tiredly, and dialed a familiar number for a FaceTime call. 

Once Sora picked up and his familiar face filled the screen, Haru felt much better. “Hey, Sora,” he said quietly, smiling softly. “How was school?”

“Pretty fun, actually. It was nice to see my friends again. But I missed you,”

“I miss you too,” admitted Haru. “School was kinda shit though. Hiro kept bickering with me and we got into a fight again. But I guess that’s to be expected. We’re only talking because Dad made us. He hates me, and he doesn’t want to talk to me. I-I haven’t been able to apologize either. And now I have a headache and I’m nauseous, and honestly, everything went downhill as soon as we got there,”

“Ah,” said Sora. “Well, I can't really fix your problem with Hiro, but I can at least tell you that you should drink water or eat something for your headache. Those usually help mine clear up.”

Haru snorted and rolled his eyes fondly, “I drank two bottles already if I drink any more water, I’ll explode. And I did eat, I promise. I’m just full. And really really nauseous. C-Could you keep talking? It helps,”

“Of course,” replied Sora warmly. Haru smiled again, rolling back over onto his belly. He let Sora ramble in about anything and everything that came to mind. The way his greenish eyes lit up whenever he got excited always made Haru feel like the most powerful man in the world for getting one of Sora’s rare smiles. 

They stayed like that, in idle chatter until Haru finally felt better. But by then, he had lost track of where Sora was going, and instead fell into a deep, deep, slumber.

* * *

After Hiro had left, he struggled to get himself up the stairs. His cast was hindering his mobility for obvious reasons, and he wouldn’t get his boot for another few weeks. He walked into his room, his leg lightly throbbing in pain, but not enough for him to be worried. He just wanted Kaito. 

Choosing to settle down in one of the beanbags in his cubby, Hiro took his phone out of his hoodie pocket and dialed Kaito back like he said he would. Once Kaito’s boyish face appeared, Hiro smiled. “Hey,” he said. “We can keep hunting for tarantulas if you want,”

Kaito smiled, dimpled face lighting up. “Sure! I almost have enough for a new house! And sorry, I ended up redesigning the garden again after dinner.”

“In an hour?”

“Dude, do you doubt me?”

Hiro giggled. “No, no. Just a little surprising.”

“Well, I hope it's a good kind of surprising,” smiled Kaito. Leading Hiro to the island of tarantulas, which Kaito had dubbed ‘Tarantuland’, the two of them enjoyed a pleasant silence. They collected a number of tarantulas, and Kaito gave each one of them a name. “The big one is Dai, the particularly stick-like one is Stick. Then this one,” he pointed his avatar at a rather fluffy looking tarantula, “is Fluffy. Who likely has three heads under all that fluff,”

Hiro snickered, “Was that a _Harry Potter_ reference?”

Kaito giggled, “Yeah, I got the books from Dad for my birthday.”

“And you actually read them?”

“H-Hey! So mean! Yes, I did!”

Hiro smiled, “I was teasing,” he said fondly. “’Course you read them,”

Kaito squawked behind him, adding more tarantulas to his collection until they were both satisfied and returned to their main island. 

“Huh, you definitely reorganized the island,” said Hiro. 

Kaito blushed, “Mhm, I did,”

All the farming areas had been moved to a new jetty off the end of their island and then arranged in a flowery spiral shape. Even for Hiro, that would have taken hours. But Kaito was special. Apart from being Hiro’s best friend, he was just a marvel to be around. 

Hiro smiled and muttered, “I love him,”

Kaito turned his face to the camera, asking. “Huh?”

Hiro squeaked, “N-nothing!” _Aaaaaah, I have to be careful!!_

“Well,” grinned Kaito. “If you’ve got something to confess, so do I,”

Hiro cocked his head. “Oh? What?”

“Uh, so I talked to my dads, a-and we had an idea,”

“Idea?”

“Yeah! Um, in a couple weeks, we could all hang out at my house. Play video games and stuff. I-I miss my best friends…”

“Oh,” admitted Hiro. “Um...well. You know I’d love to play with you. B-But Haru hates me. And I think I made it worse at dinnertime. I know I shouldn’t have been a dick, but…”

“It still happened?”

“Yeah. M’not proud of it.”

After a moment, Kaito said, “Well you'll always have me, even if things _do_ go south with Haru...I could never hate you,”

Kaito smiled softly at Hiro, who returned it with a tiny smile of his own. “Thanks, Kaito,” he said. 

They stayed peacefully together for a little while more until it was nearing midnight and Kaito’s usual bedtime. “Well, it’s almost midnight,” he said. “I love you, bye,”

He hung up before Hiro could answer.

* * *

Meanwhile, Emiko was anxiously pacing in the dining room. Hitoshi was cheerfully settled in front of the TV, watching a children’s comedy his grandparents had sent over. With him out of the way, and Bear snoozing next to him, Emi could worry about her sons. 

“Atsumu…” she began. “I’m not sure if the boys can be fixed as easily as we thought...Haru has barely been talking to Hiro, and he barely eats. I checked his lunch when he got home, less than half of it was gone...and Hiro seems to be eating even more than usual, he even wrote a note ‘I want more’, when he’s not usually like that either,”

She sighed, leaning against her much taller husband. “I’m just worried about them, honestly. I-I thought avoiding Hiro when I didn’t have to would help us both not be so snippy with each other, but I think I ruined it, Atsu…”

Atsumu hugged his wife close. “Emi...you’re not a bad mom, okay? This is hard for all of us...especially Hiro,”

“I know, I know...but I can’t shake the feeling that something else big is going to happen. A-And it won’t be good either...I feel like we’re rushing things for the boys but also going too slowly and _I don’t know what to do_ ,”

Atsumu rubbed Emiko’s back reassuringly. “We’ll be okay, Emi, I promise. It’s just gonna take some time. That’s all we can do. I know it sucks to not be in control, but it happens. And I think we just have to be there for the boys when things _do_ happen. It’s all we can do for them,”

“And that’s what hurts,” whispered Emi. “That that’s all we can do…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aww, wasn't that cute? I love having Hiro and Kaito interact, plus we got some snippets of Sora and Haru's friendship and EmiTsu's parenting.
> 
> I also have a question for you all. Since I'm doing Whumptober 2020 this year with Ellie (Fanfiction_King), we wanted to know if you'd like to see us update this story during October or not. The poll can be found here at this link.
> 
> https://forms.gle/1w2ZLtEnBCKmqVKTA


	10. Arguments & Apologies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Haru and Kaito have a talk, and then Hiro and Haru have one

Haru was exhausted. Another shitty day at school had just finished and all the fifteen-year-old wanted to do was sleep. 

But things were never that simple, not for Haru. After finishing his last class, math, he was cornered by Kaito outside the gates before they could go home. “Uh, Kaito? The fuck are you doing? We have to get home,”

“You can get home after I ask you some questions,” said Kaito ominously. 

Haru furrowed his eyebrows but acquiesced and followed Kaito to a quiet corner of the courtyard. Even though they were only about two inches apart, Kaito being 6’4, and Haru, 6’1, Haru couldn’t help but feel like a midget underneath Kaito’s glare. 

That same glare that he directed at people who bullied the twins, that made them turn tail and never speak to them again. The same one that made their opponents on the court quake in fear and lose the will to win. It was directed at him now. It was horrendous. 

Kaito pursed his lips, shifting from foot to foot. He looked down at Haru, and began with a single question. “Why?”

“Why what?”

“Why push him? Why pressure him into doing something he didn’t want to?”

_Of course, it’s about Hiro. I never should’ve said shit to him that day._

“Why? You know he’d do anything for you! And you know he’s one of the most stubborn guys we’ve ever met! He wouldn’t change his mind, even if you bribed him with video games! So why the fucking hell would you make him jump?!”

Haru shuddered. He hated that. Whenever Kaito spoke like that, it made whoever was listening weak-willed. Or at least, that’s what Haru thought before he had to face it himself. And he finally realized that it was not weakness that those people were showing, but an acceptance of the truth. 

And all this from Kaito? This was genuine curiosity from the boy that had caused the entire mess without even knowing that he did. And that made Haru feel _sick_. He couldn’t bring himself to answer as Kaito continued to shred into him, voice getting progressively louder as the courtyard emptied for afternoon activities and pick-ups from parents. Pick-ups that Hiro had already left on. 

It was just Haru and Kaito now. 

“And then, you know what he said? He thinks you hate him. He thinks that you, Haruhiro, hate him,” Kaito laughed. But it wasn’t his usual warm, humorous, full-body laugh. No, this was different. 

Cold. Empty. Humorless. 

Haru couldn’t help but feel responsible for that. But he couldn’t believe that either. He said, “He hates _me_. Why would I hate him?”

"He very clearly doesn't hate you, he literally told me that he couldn't stomach the thought of hating you" replied Kaito, still pacing. "and I have no clue why you would hate him, so that’s what I'm trying to figure out"

“Oh...” said Haru quietly, wracking his brain for any reason why his twin would think that.“Th-The only thing it could be is that I won’t talk to him...” he said. “but that can’t be it. I-I won’t talk to him because whenever I try to, he keeps snapping at me. H-He said I don’t have _friends_ , he literally spat out one of my worst fears in my face...” He sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. “It’d just be better for us if I didn’t answer his baiting...So I don’t say something stupid. S-So I don’t hurt him with my words again...I’m trying to protect him because I love him.”

Kaito listened with an unreadable expression, taking in everything as Haru kept going, “I don’t hate him, I can’t. I haven’t slept or eaten well in weeks because I’ve been so worried about him, okay? I-I keep passing out in random places because whenever I try to sleep, I get nightmares that he hates me. And then when I wake up, it’s the same thing...He hates me. I don’t hate him.”

He curled up under the stern blue gaze of Kaito’s eyes, before Kaito softened, saying, “Oh... Haru... He- he feels so bad about yelling at you, he's struggling so much and he hates that he's hurting you...Hiro never meant that shit, he just knows how to get under people's skin and even I hate that,” he said. “Try to take what he says with a grain of salt, you have friends, you have us, he's just emotional and clearly you are too"

Haru shook his head. _That can’t be true, he definitely meant it. He knows exactly how to make me upset, that wasn’t a fluke._

"I know that look...” said Kaito, stopping and looking at Haru, “You and Hiro both have it when you think someone is lying. And yeah, he may be angry at you and himself, but he could never hate you...I know you don't believe me, and I wish you did...you should've seen him, he hates himself for this...he think that you and Emi-san hate him"

Haru was taken aback. “Mom doesn’t hate him even if she should...” he said lowly. “You have no idea what he’s told us, okay? H-He’s not himself and it’s my fault. If I h-hadn’t called him a c-coward f-for not confessing, he wouldn’t have jumped. And we’d be okay.” _Not great, but okay._

“But i said that, and now he hates me, okay? He’s cussed me out and bothered me enough times for me to know that beyond a doubt. I don’t know about Mom, but I know Hiro was being a d-dick to her too. She doesn’t hate him either. H-H-He hates us. He _hates us_ , and there’s n-nothing I can do to fix it...”

Kaito put both of his hands on Haru's shoulders, giving him a worried look as the shorter boy got more anxious, "I-God, you two are so damn stubborn. If he hated you wouldn't he have left already? You know he can't stand being around people he hates, so why would he still be with you guys if he hated you all? He knows how to run away, he's done it before, so why hasn't he left yet?" he pressed, seeking answers. 

Haru laughed, but it was just as empty as Kaito’s had been. “he can’t leave because of his leg, okay? I h-h-heard him. H-He just wants to go, but he can’t. Th-the only people that he seems to want to talk to besides you are Toshi and _maybe_ Dad. H-Hiro doesn’t really talk to Dad either...he kinda avoids Dad to be honest. H-He’s been doing that a lot. Avoiding. Sleeping. What I _want to do_ , but can’t. The only way I can fall asleep without passing out from exhaustion is sleeping with someone else or talking to Sora, and I’m not a damn baby, I need to make my bed and lie in it. I made him like that. He can’t leave, so he just ignores. And ignores. And when he does talk to us, it just makes everything worse,” he admitted. 

He shifted in Kaito’s grip, but Kaito wouldn’t let him escape as he continued, “So no, I’m not being stubborn, I’m being sensitive of what he wants, e-even if it makes me feel like shit. I’ll do anything, sing a stupid song, wait on him, hell, he could stab me through the gut and if that makes him not hate me anymore, then it’s worth it...”

He melted against Kaito’s chest, whispering, “I just want it to stop.”

After a moment, Kaito said, “You’d shift hell for him, and he'd do the same for you... If he wanted to leave, you know he would, and you know that he ignores his problems, you do it too,” Haru shifted uncomfortably at that statement, though he knew it was true. “He doesn't feel seen, he just wants to be loved...he told me that even though you're not the one who's hurt you're the one who's still getting attention and that's hurting him... I'm trying to not be biased but that is truly how he feels,”

Haru, still in Kaito’s arms, mumbled, “See? That’s the problem. I make everything worse...I’m weak, I can’t deal by myself and that’s making it worse for him. I-I don’t know if I trust that he didn’t lie to you,”

Kaito shifted his hold to be tighter against Haru. It wasn’t at all unwelcome. Haru needed a hug to keep going. 

“I know you w-wouldn't lie to me, but he would. I-I just make it worse because that’s all I’ve ever done. I’ve always been the extra one, the unneeded one, s-so why should I get all th-the attention? Why should I? I don’t deserve it, and I n-never asked for it. I-I didn’t ask to be emotionally unstable either, th-that’s the only reason they even care about me right now and I hate it. I hate how weak it makes me. How I r-r-ruin everything...”

Softly, so quietly that Kaito had to strain to listen, Haru whispered, “Th-that's why it’s okay. He c-can hate me, I’ll be okay. I still love him. H-He already showed me that he thinks that way, it won’t be much different...”

He looked up at Kaito, asking, “C-can I go home now? Dad’s gonna get worried...”

Kaito frowned, upset with Haru. _Does Kaito think I’m lying? I’m not..._

Kaito's face scrunched up as he said, "God-Goddamnit Haru! You're not unneeded, I need you, your brothers need you, your parents and grandparents need you...Sora! Sora needs you! You don't ruin everything,”

_Yes, I do. Don’t you see?_

“And-and yeah you didn't ask to feel this way and what Hiro did was really shitty, but he's trying to cope and so are you, so don't forget that...” said Kaito. “But, yeah you can go...Hiro already left, you know he doesn't like staying later than needed,”

“I’m sorry,” said Haru. “I-I’ll see you tomorrow,”

“Yeah...yeah, see you,” replied Kaito. 

Haru started the long walk home.

* * *

He felt horrible. He wanted nothing more than to cry, but the tears wouldn’t come. Even as the sky darkened around him and it grew colder, the tears would not fall from Haru’s grey eyes. 

Kaito’s words had cut him deep, deeper than he would usually have cared to admit. But he didn’t care about sparing his own feelings at this point. 

_I deserve it, after all._

It was difficult to reconcile Kaito’s account of things with what Haru had himself experienced, but if there was something Haru was good at, it was analyzing. Comparing the accounts from Kaito and his own experience, everything seemed to fit. Except for one thing. 

Haru had never seen or heard Hiro apologizing. _Unless he did it when I crashed...when he thinks I’m ignoring him._ That only made the teen’s stomach turn unpleasantly. 

He hated having breakdowns, and took precautions to always be alone when they happened. Thankfully, he had been alone the past two times he had broken down, but Haru still felt unstable and uncomfortable, though he played it off when anyone asked. He hated to show weakness, and he hated that his mind and body seemed to betray him. 

It sucked.

Opening the door, he said “I’m home,”

“Haru, where have you been? It’s dinnertime,” said his mother worriedly. 

Haru sighed, running his fingers through his hair. “Just walking home from school. I had a lot to think about,”

“Well, after dinner, do you want to talk about it?”

Haru flinched. “N-No. I’m...I’m okay. I promise.” He sighed and sat at the dinner table, mumbling, “Let’s just eat...”

The meal passed mostly in silence, with neither twin eating much. Hitoshi frowned, “Eat! You need food!”

“I know, Toshi,” said Haru quietly, head resting on his fist. “I’m eating...don’t worry,”

Though he wasn’t all that hungry, Haru finished a plate of food under his parents’ watchful gaze. He slipped the plate into the sink, along with his cup.

Hiro stewed behind him, and Haru could feel the annoyance pouring off his brother. _Maybe I’ll try again._ He sent a quick text to his brother. Hiro frowned at his phone but followed Haru to the living room.

* * *

Sitting down at the same couches that they had argued at before The Punishment, Hiro was suspicious. He had heard Haru and Kaito arguing earlier, eventually choosing to leave when Atsumu texted that he had arrived. He had heard what he needed to hear anyways.

“What do you want now?” he snarled. “I heard everything. You hate me. I know that. So _why_ do you want to talk? ‘Cause I’ve got some games I’d like to play right now,”

Haru licked his lips uncomfortably. “I...I…”

“ _Spit it out_ ,”

“I—” Tears shone in Haru’s eyes. “I-I’m s-s-s—”

“S-s-smug?” sneered Hiro.

Haru shook his head, running his fingers through his hair as he was wont to do when he was stressed. 

“Oh, I’m sorry. S-s-sad? Too bad. You don’t get to be sad over me.”

Haru shook his head harder, squeezing his eyes shut. And then Hiro understood. “You’re s-s-scared to tell me you hate me, isn’t that right? Well, I’m sorry, but I already knew that! This was a waste of time!”

Haru shook his head again and whispered “I’m sorry,” But Hiro was sure it was a fluke. _I misheard that. I had to. He wouldn’t apologize, he hates me._

“Wh-what did you say?”

Haru whispered again, his voice so quiet and high that Hiro could barely hear it, even next to his brother. 

“Oh…” said Hiro cruelly. “You’re mocking me, aren’t you. ‘S-s-sorry’! Well, I’m sorry but saying ‘sorry’ doesn’t cut it, asshole!”

Haru flinched. 

“Sorry won’t fix anything! And I guess you’re only apologizing now ‘cause you feel bad for fighting with my best friend. News flash, **_asshole_** , that won’t work on me. I can see it, you’re lying and you don’t mean anything you say. _Fucking bastard…”_

Haru glared, tears sticky against his eyes. But they didn’t fall, almost held together by sheer tensile force. He left the room without another word. 

He was disappointed. He had hoped Haru had some fire left in him. Hiro pouted. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the twins need a hug
> 
> Our poll of updates is still open if you'd like to vote :)
> 
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	11. Hiro's Hospital Day and Haru's Home Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The twins are still on their argumentative bullshit, but it's okay, they aren't together.
> 
> Or
> 
> An interlude before the end

Hiro pouted. He found himself at the hospital again after school the next afternoon. Thankfully, Haru wasn’t there, but Emi was. He needed another round of X-rays to check the progression of healing, as it had been about a month and a half since he’d broken his leg.  _ Another month and a half to go.  _ By now, he was hoping to be allowed to ditch the cast, but he wasn’t sure. 

Dr. Sasagawa came out from studying the X-rays, her usually kind and placid face set in a small frown. Emi shifted next to Hiro, giving him a look out the corner of her eye.

“You didn’t follow my requests, did you?” said Dr. Sasagawa coolly. 

Shamefaced, Hiro gave a small nod. “Um, yeah...I wanted it to go faster, so I kept pushing myself,”

“I noticed,” said Dr. Sasagawa dryly, pushing back her brown bangs. “You’re quite lucky. Just a little more of that pushing would’ve meant you’d still have the cast,”

“W-Wait, so I’m not—”

“No, you’ll be switched out of a cast to a boot. You’ll also need to begin some physical therapy as well,”

Hiro wrinkled his nose, but otherwise didn’t comment.  _ Ugh, I hate therapy _ . “So, I can walk around?”

“Yes, but if there’s any pain, you are to  _ stop _ . There will be no more of this nonsense of pushing through pain. I noticed it when you and your mother came in today. You are only setting yourself up for further setbacks. You plan to return to play in October, yes?”

Hiro nodded, wary of what she would say next. 

“I wouldn’t test my luck,”

Hiro sighed. “Okay...okay.”

Dr. Sasagawa smiled. 

Emiko frowned. She sat patiently, just outside the door as Hiro’s cast was removed. On a phone call with her husband, Emi confessed, “A-Are you sure? He seems to still be avoiding me, and you know I laid off of that ages ago...I’m not upset anymore. Just worried,”

“Emi, I promise. He doesn’t hate you, okay? We’re talking and he doesn’t read that way to me at all. You’ll be okay,”

“I wish,” sighed Emi. “Hiro’s not been listening to us. He’s been pushing himself too hard...Dr. Sasagawa said that if he’s gone even a little bit further, he’d have to stay with his cast,”

Atsumu inhaled sharply, “Shit,”

“Yep, pretty shit. He’s been ignoring me a lot, wouldn't talk in the car on the way here, even though he usually won’t  _ stop _ talking in the car,”

“Yeah…” Atsumu sighed. “It sucks,”

“It really does. I have to call you back, Hiro just came out,”

“M’kay, I’ll see you two at home for dinner. See ya later, Emi,”

“Bye, Atsu,”

She hung up, standing and entering the room. Hiro swung his legs impatiently, as if he was waiting for Emi to arrive. His face lit up when she walked inside, though it quickly faded as he stood up unsteadily with his boot, though he seemed glad for the crutches to aid his balance. Emi smiled, gently saying, “Hey, Hiro.”

“Hey, Mom...”

But the air was still tense. They didn’t say anything after that. 

Emi sighed, walking down the hall with Hiro to sign out, unsure of how to defuse the tension between them. _ He probably thinks I still hate him... _ “Hiro, I know you wanted to come with your dad, because I was avoiding you, but...baby...I don’t hate you. You know that, right?”

Hiro froze. “You don’t…?” he asked, confused. Emi could see the tension in his shoulders hadn’t dissipated. “Then...then why were you avoiding me if you didn’t hate me?”

“N-No…” said Emi. She was silent for a moment, considering what to say next as she signed out of Dr. Sasagawa’s office. 

“I...I was avoiding you because I thought you hated  _ me _ , Hiro. I didn’t want us to fight again...I was scared…” admitted Emi. “Scared I’d say something I didn’t mean again and give you more of a reason to hate me. I-I guess it was really the other way around, huh?”

Hiro’s breath hitched, “Y-Yeah...I’m sorry for all the problems I’ve caused…” he said quietly. “I-It’s not just your fault...I was the one that kept yelling at you, Mom. I’m sorry…”

Emi smiled softly, tapping Hiro’s nose as they waited for the elevator, “Well, we’re both sorry. So that makes us even, right? I forgive you, Hiro,”

Mother and son hugged, and Emi could finally say that she felt okay. Not great, but it was a start.

* * *

“Why won’t Haru-nii play with me?" asked Hitoshi frustratedly. Hiro had excused himself once they had arrived home to do some homework. 

But Haru had avoided his littlest brother since dinner the night before and Hitoshi was swiftly getting tired of it. “Haru-nii never wants to play anymore, even if Hiro-nii does,”

"Well,” sighed Emi, giving a meaningful gaze upstairs. “Haru's in pain, baby. He lost his best friend..." 

"But I'm his bestest friend..." mumbled Hitoshi.  _ Haru-nii told me that. _

“Well, maybe you can do something for him. We can make a snack,”

Hitoshi’s little brown eyes lit up. “Can we, Mommy?” 

Emi led her three-year-old to the kitchen. “Of course,”. 

Together, they filled a small bento with mandarins and Pocky and fruit gummies, Haru’s three favorite snacks. 

“Mommy! I get my special blankey! Wait!!”

“Okay, baby. Go get it,”

Hitoshi giggled and ran to the living room, pulling his special ‘fluffly blanket’ off the couch. The blanket was soft as a cloud and red. It was Hitoshi’s welcome gift from Haru, and the little boy treasured it along with his many blue plushies from Hiro. 

Returning to the kitchen, Hitoshi got a stool and opened the fridge. “Mommy, where’s Yakult?”

“You wanna give Haru some Yakult?”

Hitoshi nodded vigorously. “Yakult is Haru-nii’s favit!”

Emi smiled and passed two strawberry Yakult to Hitoshi to place in their little box. Once they were satisfied, Hitoshi ran upstairs, giggles bouncing off the walls. Stopping in front of the big red door, Hitoshi tried to open it, but it wouldn’t budge. He knocked and shouted, “HARU-NII, OPEN PLEASE!!"

From inside, Haru groaned. "Go  _ away _ , Toshi,"

“Uhh no!!" replied the little boy. “I'll give you blankey! I has orange! Your favit!” Hitoshi could heat his brother sigh. 

“Leave it outside, Toshi. Haru-nii doesn't feel good," he said after a moment. 

"But- but,” protested Hitoshi. “I wanna see Haru-nii and I wanna give him blankey!!"

Haru-nii didn’t answer. 

"Fine..." said Hitoshi sadly. He put down the lunchbox and folded the blanket into a shape that could crudely resemble a cat. 

He ran to the art room down the hall, searching for a piece of paper and sparkly red pen.  _ Mommy has lots of sparkly pens. But Haru-nii likes red. I need a red pen.  _

After a bit, he was able to locate the desired pen, and started to focus on writing as neatly as he could. Once he was satisfied with his message, he ran back to his brother’s bedroom. He slid it underneath the door, since everything else was gone. It made Hitoshi so very happy. “I love you, Haru-nii!” he shouted cheerfully

“I love you too, Toshi,” came the soft reply. 

Hitoshi came back downstairs with a triumphant smile.

* * *

Haru sighed, mindlessly nibbling the gummies Hitoshi had sent him. They were good, but did nothing to settle his stomach. He felt like shit. 

After a bit, Haru heard a strange giggling outside the door, and something was pushed under it. “I love you, Haru-nii!” shouted a little voice, undoubtedly three-year-old Hitoshi. 

Haru smiled softly, though Hitoshi couldn’t see him. “I love you too, Toshi,” he said fondly. 

The giggles disappeared down the hallway after that, leaving a peaceful instead of eerie silence behind. 

Haru slid off his bed and picked up the piece of paper his brother had slipped under the door, gasping in shock. 

His eyes swelled with tears and he trembled like a leaf in the wind, stumbling back to his bed, on the verge of tears.  _ He’s so sweet.  _

It was the first time in days that anyone had even bothered to care about him, at least emotionally. He was still raw from when Kaito had yelled at him, so much so that the pair had avoided each other since. Haru couldn’t bring himself to talk to Kaito. 

And now, his littlest brother, who didn’t understand what was happening to his brothers since April, had spoken directly to him with this drawing. This stupid little drawing of two people. 

It was nothing special. Average work for a three-year-old. It was just two stick figures in a sparkling red heart, the larger shakily labeled “Haru” and the smaller labeled “Toshi”. Below that, in glittering red ink, his brother wrote, “Hav a gret daye. I luv yu”

Haru sobbed. Love crashed over him in intense, searing waves for his baby brother, the only one that seemed to remotely care about him since the Incident. Haru didn’t even care that the lines were shaky or that they were crooked and uneven, Hitoshi loved him. 

That was all he could ask for. 

Pulling out his phone, Haru took a picture before setting the drawing on his desk. A new wave of tears crashed over, cresting all the negativity he felt. Now he cried, not because his brother loved him, but because everyone else hated him. 

No matter how much he worked, all he got was pushback. They were going nowhere, but instead getting closer and closer to running Haru over. He had tried to apologize to Hiro again over dinner, but his brother moodily ignored him. 

He was trying so hard to not let it bother him, but he couldn’t lie to himself anymore.  _ Kaito’s wrong. He hates me. I’ve just got to suck it up and deal.  _

Before his mind could spiral any further, his phone started to ring. Sniffling, Haru recognized the caller, flicking the green “accept” button. 

“Hey Sora,” he rasped. He reached for one of the Yakults Hitoshi had brought him, sipping it morosely. 

“Hey, Haru. I just wanted to check in on you...Kaito told me something had happened...?” said Sora quietly, as if he was trying not to disturb Haru. 

“Tch, he yelled at me two nights ago...” sneered Haru, still sniffling. 

“Why?”

“‘Cause he figured out what was wrong and he told me Hiro doesn’t hate me, but that’s bullshit, ‘cause he’s been ignoring me for weeks, and that’s exactly what he does when he hates someone,”

He laughed humorlessly. 

“Haru...I’m not sure, since I haven’t seen you or Hiro or Kaito in months, but it cannot be possible that your brother hates you, and I don’t think Kaito hates you either. The three of you were so happy when you came to visit, and that was barely three months ago. It can’t have changed in so short a time,”

“A lot can change in three months, let alone three seconds,” mumbled Haru bitterly. “I know that I trust Kaito, but I don’t trust that Hiro lied to him. It doesn’t make any logical sense. If I was him, I’d hate me. And that’s a fact. So this...this doesn’t make any semblance of logical sense.”

He took another aggressive slurp from his Yakult, sadness being replaced with equal parts bitterness, confusion, and betrayal. Standing up, the brunet began to pace back and forth as Sora hummed in his ear, thinking. 

“I’m not sure if this would work, but it’s your best shot. Talk to him again, even if you need to get Emi-San or Atsumu-san to help you with that. You and your brother are going to tear apart at the seams if you don’t,”

Haru laughed bitterly again, mouth filling with bile. Forcing the acrid liquid back down his throat, he said, “I’ve already torn apart, this isn’t going to be much worse, Sora,”

“I know that Haru...but please try for me, if not for yourself. I don’t want you hurt…”

“Okay,”

A beat. Then, Sora said, “Would you like to hear a funny story from practice today?”

“Mhm,”

“All right, it all started when Satoru and his father came over for practice,”

“Satoru is a wildcard and so is Tendou-san...what shenanigans did you get into?”

“Satoru convinced us to try out playing volleyball with our feet,”

“Isnt that soccer?”

“No, he literally asked us to lay on our backs and try it,”

“Well...did it work?”

“Sort of, but then we got a bit too into it. Satoru has a broken nose for the second time this year,”

Haru started to laugh, feeling better. “And how did Tendou-san take it?”

“With his usual off-brand humor of course. Started singing a little song and Satoru chased him with a bloody nose. It was quite funny,”

“Pfft, I bet,”

“I’ll send you the video then. I missed your laugh,”

Haru deflated, “Ah...yeah…”

“Sorry, I dampened the mood, didn’t I?”

“No, no, you’re fine Sora...s’just me. I-I’m gonna take a nap...Bye,”

“....bye? Sleep well,”

He hung up. 

Face burning with a mixture of adoration and shame, Haru collapsed face-first into his pillows.  _ A nap would be good right now _ . 

Without much more fanfare, he fell into a deep sleep. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> toshi is literally the babiest baby and I love him.
> 
> He loves comments and so do I, so thanks so much for all the kudos and comments!


	12. Saturday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's Saturday now. Let's see if everything goes according to Kaito's plans.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one’s a bit longer than usual, I hope you enjoy!

Stretching awake, Kaito looked excitedly at the calendar on his wall. A smiling picture of himself and the twins greeted him. _Today’s finally the day!_

It was Saturday, and he’d finally get to see the twins! Kaito scrambled around his room, trying to make everything as neat as possible, and get dressed at the same time. Running his hair through his fingers, he quickly finished his morning routine, ticking off another X on the calendar for his meds. 

“Owlet! Time for breakfast!” Bokuto shouted. 

“Coming, Tou-san!!”

Kaito flew down the stairs, his clothes still rumpled. Akaashi snorted over the rim of his teacup, “You just got dressed, hm?”

Kaito nodded, “Yep! I gotta go get ready for the twins to come!”

“After breakfast, Owlet,” said Bokuto, carrying a large bowl of eggs and rice for breakfast.

“After breakfast,” he agreed.

The meal was pleasant and lighthearted, filling them with a good meal and good mood. Something Kaito would definitely need today. 

Once the three of them were finished, Akaashi and Bokuto cheerfully helped Kaito set up their living room with as many pillows as possible. Kaito dragged down a huge pile of blankets and began constructing a pillow fort, explaining that they were the best for long gaming sessions. 

“I agree, Owlet. Our guests need to be comfortable. Did you charge the controllers?” asked Bokuto as he fluffed the pillows on their slate grey couch. 

“Yep! They’re all set, Tou-san!” replies Kaito, nearly folding some blankets for his pillow fort. “I’ll get the cookies from the kitchen so we have some to eat!”

“Great idea! As long as we get some!”

“Koutarou, you are _not_ going to eat all of our son’s cookies!”

“But _Keiji_ ,”

“But nothing,”

“Aww, don’t worry, Dad! I can share, there’s plenty!” said Kaito with a smile, returning from the kitchen and passing a plateful of sugar cookies to his parents. Munching happily, Kaito, Akaashi and Bokuto finished their pillow fort with time (and cookies) to spare. 

Then, a cheerful chime from the doorway sounded. “COMING!!” Kaito shouted. He ran to the door, throwing it open and wrapping the twins in a hug. 

“Ah! Not so tight!” squeaked Hiro, who has taken the brunt of Kaito’s hug.

“Oh! Sorry!”

“Ow,” mumbled Haru, rubbing his ribs. “Do you at least have cookies?”

“Yep! Come in, come in! I set up the living room for us to play!”

Haru smiled, following Kaito to the living room, Hiro a few paces behind, absently rubbing his leg in pain. Their backpacks thudded against their backs, in time with their gait. 

“Mom and Dad left for the weekend, so if there’s a problem, you have to call our uncles. Dad doesn’t want anyone interrupting them unless someone’s at the hospital,” said Haru. 

“Understandable,” said Bokuto. “Keiji and I are going out for a lunch date, but we’ll be back later. There’s plenty of food in the kitchen, you boys can eat whatever,”

“Thanks, Bokuto-san,” said Hiro, finally sidling up to the other boys. “We’ll see you later,”

Akaashi and Bokuto nodded, smiling and leaving the house cheerfully. 

Kaito led his guests down the hallway to the living room, their slippers tapping lightly against the floor. 

“Hey, have you talked to him yet?” whispered Kaito once Hiro was out of earshot.

Haru snorted, “Tried to. He keeps fucking stonewalling. It’s driving me insane, he either leaves the room, or turns up his music, or starts talking to Toshi or Dad…Maybe it’ll help being here...but I don’t know. Mom and Dad left for the weekend...so maybe spending the weekend here with you will put him in a better mood. But I don’t know, he’s still kind of apprehensive around me...”

“Maybe he’s just worried about you? He seemed apprehensive of the whole apologizing thing...Not in a bad way, I just mean he th—”

“He thinks I should apologize first, not him. I know. It’s just hard to find the time to…”

“I know, Haru, but you gotta, okay? Let’s...let’s just play for now,”

The three of them spread out across Kaito’s pillow fort, with Hiro claiming the floor with Kaito, his crutches resting on the floor in front of him, and Haru claiming the front of the supporting loveseat furthest from the pair, his feet resting on top of the chair. 

Kaito couldn’t help but feel uncomfortable with the distance between the twins, but he knew that they just needed to relax. _Then they’ll come back._

But even after the first few rounds of _Smash_ , tensions lingered. 

“Hey, um, is there something going on between you two? You seem...you seem worse if I’m being honest,” said Kaito. 

Haru curled into himself and mumbled, “I don’t want to think about it right now, I told you anyways...”

Hiro looked up from his phone, narrowing his eyes. 

“Let’s just play...please?” asked Haru weakly. 

“Tch, Haru, just tell him what you told me,” sneered Hiro. 

Haru flinched, mumbling, “No,”

“What are you talking about Hiro?” asked Kaito. His attention was no longer on the game, instead on his best friends. _Is something else wrong with them?_

“He’s mocking you, you know that?” said Hiro callously. 

“Who?” asked Kaito, eyes flickering between the twins. 

Haru wilted further, “I’m not, Hiro...please shut up, we came to play,”

Hiro snorted but acquiesced. 

The air was still tense, and Kaito could feel himself slipping. After losing to Haru in _Smash_ for the fifth time in a row, Hiro snarked, “Damn, I guess you really do feel bad for him, Kaito. This is the fifth time he’s won,”

Haru twitched.

“Hey, hey.” Kaito said. “I don’t feel bad for Haru, he’s just gotten better,”

“You don’t have to lie, Kaito. Hiro’s right…”

Kaito blinked hard, nostrils flaring. “No, Haru. You’ve been winning fair and square, you should be happy.”

Haru looked at Hiro out of the corner of his eye. “You don’t have to force him to be nice to me, Kaito…”

Kaito put down his controller, glaring at Haru and Hiro. “I’m not forcing anyone to be nice, and I’m not just letting Haru win against me, okay? Please...please, like Haru said, let’s just enjoy this,”

“Okay…” agreed the twins. 

“Yay!” cheered Kaito. 

As Haru and Kaito finished playing several more rounds of _Smash_ , Hiro started to lose at his run of _Minecraft_ , before he finally shouted, “Goddamnit, I should just die!”

Haru and Kaito whipped around, looking at Hiro. Hiro angrily watched his avatar be pummeled until it had only half a heart left. “Dammit! Why can’t I die?! It’s better than this!”

* * *

Bile rose up his throat. _I hate suicide jokes_. Before Kaito or Hiro could say anything further, Haru bolted to the door, frantically tugging on his sneakers and backpack. Throwing the door open, he fled down the street, thoughts flying a million miles an hour. _I should just die, I should just die,_ **I should just die**. It echoed louder and louder. Then the screaming started. Guttural screams. Screams of unimaginable pain. _Hiro’s screams._

His breaths came in short, panicked gasps. Darting inside, he slammed the door and sank down, sobbing. 

_BadBadBad_ **_BadBADBAD_ **

* * *

Hiro and Kaito stared at the door that Haru fled through. Frantically wracking his brain to find what could have set off his twin, he reached a conclusion. His stomach rolled. “Oh God, Oh God, he thought I was serious...” mumbled Hiro, tears beginning to stick to his eyelashes. “He thought I seriously wanted to die...”

He knew that Haru was aware of his twin’s depression, caused by taxing years of bullying. And Hiro knew just how paranoid it made his brother. Haru _hated_ suicide jokes. It didn’t matter who they were from, he’d invariably end up leaving the room. 

_I did it again!_

He let out a high keen, burying his face in Kaito’s side. Kaito rubbed his back reassuringly. “I know, Hiro. And yeah, it sucks a lot... But we can fix it! He knows you're past that stage! You're getting better, right?"

“I-I am, but I-I-I’ve been such a dick to him...I-I-I don’t th-think he to-took it as m-me not being se-se-serious...” stuttered Hiro. 

"Hey,” said Kaito, brushing his fingers along Hiro’s back. “Hey, it's gonna be okay! Now where's the Hiro that I love? Where's his pretty smile?

Hiro grimaced, “I-I don’t think I can smile right n-oh God, I’m gonna hurl...” Before Kaito could get a word in, Hiro scrambled to the bathroom, flipping open the toilet and emptying his stomach. 

It smelled vile. Repugnant. Disgusting. 

But Kaito was right there behind him, gently rubbing his back, and holding back his bangs as he kept pouring his guts into the toilet. “Hey, hey, it’ll be okay...It wasn’t that bad a joke...” he said, trying to reassure Hiro. 

Hiro smiled weakly, gasping for breath. "Ma-maybe you're ri-right... But it wasn't even a- a joke! I was ju-just mad at my game..."

They trailed off once Hiro began to shake again. Even more food went into the toilet, and Hiro retched, disgusted. “I don’t get why he left just now...I-I wasn’t serious or an-anything....”

Finally, Kaito said, “Well...you were kinda being rude to Haru even before that...you thought he was mocking you...? And me? Why?”

Breath hitching, Hiro explained “I-I guess it was because ever since you talked to him he's been so set on talking to me...I thought he was okay...a-and I already f-f-forgave him too...but I didn’t tell him...I thought he kn-knew. But I guess not...”

Finally, he lifted his face away from the toilet. _I don’t have anymore left._ Laughing bitterly, he said, “I was so mean when he- he tried to say sorry...it just seemed so rushed from when he re-refused to talk to m-m-me at a-all.. so I mocked him and it made sense for him to do it too...But he di-didn’t, he just left cr-crying...”

A new wave of sobs battered him, and he buried his face in Kaito’s broad chest. Kaito rubbed abstract patterns into Hiro’s back. “H-He wasn’t mocking you with that apology...he genuinely feels bad.” he said softly. “I-I yelled at him a couple weeks ago, but I guess you didn’t stick around...he-he feels so bad. He was ignoring you because he thought you hated him..and-and,” He laughed hollowly. “This is pretty much the same conversation we had...”

But Hiro wasn’t reassured. “i- I'm so sorry, I'm so horrible,” he whispered into Kaito’s chest.

“You’re not horrible, Hiro...and you shouldn’t apologize to me, it didn’t bother me...you should apologize to Haru...but I-I think you should wait. He deserves to fall apart in peace,”

_I was so shitty, I need to apologize._

"I-I know...I-I’ll apologize later...but Th-thank you for not ha-hating me..."

“You’re welcome...but you know, Haru doesn’t hate you either...h-he feels just as bad...” Kaito’s patterns began to grow more complex, and he wrapped the much thinner Hiro into a hug. 

  
  


"I don't deserve you.." mumbled Hiro fondly. _He’s too good to me._

But looking up into Kaito’s blue eyes, Hiro saw confusion. “What makes you say that? We-we’ve been friends since we were six...well, you were six, I was seven...if we didn’t deserve each other, we would’ve stopped being friends ages ago...”

Hiro laughed for the first time in days, tapping Kaito’s nose."You're just so sweet... I knew there was a reason I liked you.."

Kaito’s face was swiftly turning redder than the grapes he loved to eat, and Hiro was sure he wasn’t far behind. His own cheeks felt like hot coals at an onsen and he deflated. _I ruined someone else..._

But then, he felt Kaito press a light kiss to his temple. “Remember when I said you’d always have me...? Well, I wasn’t lying. I’ll always have your back, and I know you’ll always have mine...” he said, smiling fondly at Hiro. 

Hiro smiled back, but it quickly faded. _I hurt him..._ “Wh-what about Haru...? W-We can’t just forget him...e-even if I’m a shitty excuse for a twin...”

"You're not shitty,” said Kaito. “We'll figure out what to do about him, but just give him some time...You guys haven't had much of a real break from each other, let him do this on his own,” he gave Hiro a reassuring squeeze, but it did little to soothe his nerves. _He’s so anxious..._

“I-I’m just worried about what he’ll do on his own...” Hiro admitted. “Haru throws up a lot when he’s anxious...and he’s been barely eating...I’m just worried he m-might...might end up...d-d-d...” _I can’t even say it._

He whined again, flipping over to the toilet, and retching again. But this time, nothing came up. He had nothing left. 

"Hiro, look at me,” said Kaito, taking Hiro’s shoulders and turning him to face Kaito. “He’s smart...He'll know his limit, I'm sure he'll end up eating some mandarins or something,”

“M-Maybe...but he’s barely had an appetite since...since then...it’s really hard not to worry about him. I-I’m starting to understand why Mom and Dad were so much more worried about him...Dad was right...I’m stable and he isn’t...”

"Yeah, I know, Hiro...but just know that him being unstable doesn't discredit your feelings...You can be mad and feeling ignored...Emi-san and Atsumu-san still need to worry about you as well..."

“I-I know...but I know how to deal with it and h-h-he doesn’t...” said Hiro quietly. “C-Can we go to your closet...? I need to have a good cry,”

“Of course. Let’s have a good cry,”

* * *

Haru was not having a good cry. He didn’t know how long he’d been sitting there, behind their door. Hours? Minutes? Seconds?

Everything was too fast, _too fast._ Though the house was silent, Haru could not escape the ringing in his ears. _So loud. Too loud._ His breaths quickened. He clamped his eyes shut, raking his hands through his hair. 

Blood pumped to his brain, sending dozens of signals for the fifteen-year-old to _relaxrelaxrelaxyoureokayeverythingisokay_

But he couldn’t. Nothing was okay. Hiro thought he should have died. Died. Died and been buried six feet underground in a coffin. A coffin that Haru could feel closing in. 

His chest ached. But he could not stop the sobs. It was futile. His breaths, staccato and short, came in faster and faster, his heart hammering in his chest as he tried, _tried_ , **_tried_** to stay afloat. Stay alive. Stay above the water. 

But it was no use. 

He was sinking. Drowning, really. 

Down. Down. Down.

_I deserve this_

Down. Down. Down. 

_I should have stopped him_

Down. Down. Down. 

_I can’t._

Finally, a moment of clarity. Something was shaking in his pocket. His breath hitched, and Haru pulled out his phone. 

**Hiro🦸‍♂️ (3) Missed Calls**

**Hiro🦸‍♂️ (5) texts**

He couldn’t concentrate. His breath had started to calm down. But it picked up. Faster. Harder. He needed to leave. He couldn’t face Hiro. 

Throwing his phone onto the counter, Haru fled to his bedroom. Bear, his wonderful, amazing, beautiful dog sat there. She sat patiently. He collapsed against the St. Bernard’s side, feeling his throat begin to close up. 

The tears were sticking. Bear’s fur was slick. He was losing grip on her. Or maybe on his mind. He didn’t know.

* * *

“Owlet! We’re home!” shouted Bokuto, opening the door and ushering Akaashi inside out of the rain. 

Silence. 

“Owlet? Hiro? Haru?” asked Akaashi. He scanned the doorway, and only found Hiro’s and Kaito’s Converse. Haru’s Vans were nowhere to be found. 

Bokuto searched the rest of the first floor, finally saying, “Keiji, I don’t see them anywhere,”

“And Haru’s shoes are missing...maybe he left?”

“Maybe? He could be upstairs though...let’s look.”

Traipsing up the stairs, the two of them found no sign of Haru.

“Keiji...I have a bad feeling about this,”

“I know, Koutarou,”

They peered into Kaito’s room, smiling at the snuggling boys on their son’s bed. Hiro was sprawled across Kaito’s chest, and Kaito’s arms were wrapped around the smaller boy. 

Bokuto had to restrain an ‘Aww’, lest he wake up the boys. It was the first time they’d seen Hiro smile since the accident. Snapping a picture, Bokuto added it to his ‘Text Atsumu Later’ folder. 

Akaashi reappeared a few moments later, shaking his head. “Haru’s not here...and I agree, I definitely have a bad feeling,”

“I know Atsumu said that he and Emi needed a break for the weekend, but I don’t know...I feel like we should tell him. Haru was supposed to stay with us, but he’s not here…”

The two men stood in the hallway, debating the pros and cons of letting Atsumu and Emiko know about the situation. They couldn’t just ignore their responsibilities to their guests, especially because the twins were like sons to them.

“I’ll text Osamu. I know his house is down the street from our house and Haru’s house is just a little further that way...and Atsumu said to call Osamu if anything came up,”

“Good idea,” agreed Akaashi. 

Bokuto pulled out his phone, flicking open his texts. Once Osamu had confirmed that Haru wasn’t with him, he began to worry.

**Hey Osamu. Haru's not here rn. Do u know where he went?**

**Idk he's not here. Just Toshi.**

**We haven't heard from him**

**K thx tho. its kinda weird**

**?**

**Haru was @ our place w/Hiro but he left**

**Maybe ask Hiro?**

**Maybe**

"You didn't get a text from him, right?"

“No, and he hasn’t posted anything anywhere letting us know that he was leaving…”

“Um...Bokuto-san, Akaashi-san…” said Hiro quietly. “I think I know where he went…”

Bokuto and Akaashi started. “Oh...Hiro, we didn’t know you were awake,”

“Mm? I was, it was just more comfortable to snuggle Kaito…” he said. “I made Haru upset...he went home and he’s not answering my texts or calls...but I’m pretty sure he’s just there…” He sighed and snuggled into Kaito again.

“Made him upset?” asked Akaashi cautiously.

“Y-Yeah, I made a joke without thinking...and he left crying…”

Kaito stirred next to Hiro. “Eh? Hi Dad, hi Tou-san...what’s up? You look worried,”

“Haru hasn’t answered my texts,” said Hiro sadly, scrolling through his phone for the texts from his twin.

“And he didn’t call us either, Owlet,” said Bokuto.

“That’s weird…” said Kaito, snatching Hiro’s phone.

“Hey! Why’d you do that?!”

“ _Stop! When you send five texts_ \--”

“ _And you get none back, so you wanna send a sixth one_ , I know Kaito!”

“Well, _stop!_ Haru won’t answer you when he’s upset...or in the middle of a panic attack either!”

“Panic attack?!” said Bokuto worriedly.

“I set it off...I was really mean to him. That’s why I have to text him, Kaito! I need to fix it!”

“No, you need to calm down. Both of you,” said Akaashi firmly. Taking the boys’ phones, he set them on top of Kaito’s drawers, ignoring their protests. “No complaining, you can get them back later. But you need to _calm down_ ,”

Bokuto dragged over one of Kaito’s purple bean bags, setting it down on his galaxy-patterened carpet. “Instead of worrying about Haru, I want to know what’s going on between you two.”

“Wh-what? Nothing’s going on!” squeaked Hiro, blushing.

“Uhh yeah, we kissed, remember?” said Kaito.

Hiro buried his face in Kaito’s neck, bright red. “Don’t say it like that!”

“Oh come _on!_ You wouldn’t stop kissing me!”

“Because! Be-because you confessed and I finally got the boy I’ve been dreaming of! Wh-why _wouldn’t_ I kiss you?”

Bokuto and Akaashi looked at each other, before bursting into hysteric giggling. “Oh man, Tsum-Tsum and Omi owe me…”

“Owe you? Did you and my Dad put bets on us?”

“Yep!”

Akaashi sighed, “Unfortunately. And now I’m out of cookies,”

“Wait, did you guys bet on my cooking?!”

“Of course we did, Owlet!”

Kaito shook his head fondly. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hiro and haru need hugs and therapy.
> 
> also I'm SO GLAD I CAN FINALLY SAY THEYRE CANON MWAHAHAHAHAHHA


	13. I’m Breaking Down

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Breakdown time! Neither Hiro nor Haru is happy about anything that happened yesterday. 
> 
> (Chapter title from Falsettos)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor boys. We’re nearing the end at least.

Haru sighed and stretched awake. His face was still streaked with tears, and he was glad that he wasn’t wearing his contacts.  _ Crying with contacts fucking sucks.  _

Bear was gone and his door was open, so he went to the bathroom to clean his face and clear his mind. His stomach rumbled _. I know, I’ll get a mandarin. Chill out. _

Mandarins were his comfort food. And what Haru needed right now, more than anything else, was comfort, shrugging on one of his baggy red hoodies (which was really Sora’s, though Haru had been gifted it during his last visit to Miyagi), the boy descended the stairs. 

His phone was still on the counter, where he had thrown it before fleeing upstairs. Now, instead of there being 3 missed calls and five texts, his phone said

**Hiro🦸‍♂️ (14) Missed Calls**

**Hiro🦸‍♂️ (9) texts**

Flicking open his phone with his thumb, Haru was shocked to find that he’d been sleeping for almost seven hours. He’d left around 1 in the afternoon.  _ No wonder I’m hungry… _

The texts from Hiro alarmed him.   
  


**Haru...pcik up plaese**

**I’m sorry**

**it was all my fault**

**i forgive you**

**im so sorry**

**please get bcak to me**

**Haru**

**please**

**im sorry**

His breath began to quicken. He couldn’t think. Couldn’t breathe.  _ Why? Why is he doing this? _

He felt unbalanced. Weak. Stumbling to the kitchen to get a mandarin and a Yakult, he could hear crying. Soft, weak, hidden. Peering outside, his breath hitched. 

Emiko and Atsumu were on the couch, speaking with Hiro. Their voices were muffled by the kitchen walls, but Haru could make out Hiro’s angry “Okay... God, I get it! I'm a disappointment and you expect better... Just leave me alone!"

Haru was shaking. The Yakult slipped. Yogurt spilled all over the floor. The mandarins bounced off it, rolling underneath the counter. “Haru?” asked a voice.  _ What is he doing?!  _ “Can I help?”

Hiro peered into the kitchen, dropping his crutches and getting onto his hands and knees to help Haru clean. But Haru couldn’t think. He felt like the cracked open Yakult bottle. His breathing was starting to pick up. “Go away, don’t need your help,” he rasped out. Something must have clicked with Hiro. He fled. It looked like he was crying. Haru wasn’t sure. 

Everything felt wrong again. 

* * *

“Kaito…” Hiro swallowed. “I fucked up. He hasn’t answered any of my texts.”

On the other line, Kaito answered, “I told you...that would just make him feel worse. But something else is bothering you...what is it?”

“Mom and Dad are mad at me again...I-I get it but, wh-why can’t I be good enough for them? I went to your house and they were okay with it and now suddenly they’re not? I don’t know, it doesn’t make sense...I thought this was their idea...”

“Nope! It was mine. But, Hiro, I’m sure there’s more to this story. Just take deep breaths for me, okay? Deep breaths.”

“Okay...”

In for four. 

Hold for seven. 

Out for eight. 

“Again,”

In for four. 

Hold for seven.

Out for eight. 

The two of them stayed on the phone like that for several minutes. Then came the notification from Atsumu. 

Hiro sighed, “I have to go talk to them now...I-I’ll call you when I’m done,”

“All right. Keep me posted. Bye, Hiro,”

“Bye, Kaito,”

He hung up.  _ Time to face the music.  _

Descending the stairs, Hiro began anxiously fiddling with his blue hoodie strings. He sat down on the couch, the same couch he’d yelled at Atsumu and Emiko on. The same one that had started this mess. 

“H-Hi...what did you want to talk about?”

"Where have you been for the past five hours, young man?" said Atsumu angrily. 

Hiro flinched. “At Kaito’s,” he said. 

"Okay...” said Emiko. “Then why did Haru come home early? You came home five hours late and he came home 3 hours early. It doesn’t add up,”

“W-We got into...into a fight...I think. I don’t know, h-he just left and I think he was starting to have a panic attack...”

"Did you also have a panic attack? After he left?"

“I did...tha-thats why I came home late. I fell asleep in Kaito’s closet with him...”

Atsumu snorted, "Dammit Hiro... What has been happening with you lately?"

“I-I dont know,” he said weakly. He fiddled with his hoodie strings, holding back tears.  _ That’s all it is. I don’t know. _

"You're stressing out your brother, us, your friends,  _ yourself _ ! We're not mad at you, but we expected better..." said Emiko. 

Hiro stilled. No more fidgeting. No more sniffling. Just calm, cold anger. "Okay. Okay... God, I get it!” He was getting angry now, voice rising in a threatening crescendo. “I'm a disappointment and you expect better... Just leave me alone!"

He left the room, tears prickling like needles. 

Walking past the kitchen to retreat to his bedroom, Hiro heard a thud and the unmistakable scent of Yakult filled his nose. Haru was crouched by the stainless steel fridge, frantically scrubbing at the spilled drink. 

“Haru...? Can I help?” he asked softly, bending down next to Haru. 

“Go away...” rasped Haru. His breathing was choppy. Unsteady. “Don’t need your help,”

But he was angry and scared and sad and before Hiro could incur anyone else’s wrath, he stepped out of the kitchen. 

Emiko approached the kitchen now too, ignoring Hiro entirely. He wasn’t sure how to feel about that. He was angry at her, but she wasn’t angry with him.  _ Just disappointed, but that’s really the same thing _ . She paid him no more attention after that. Instead, she was focused on someone else, “Haru? Is that you?” she asked gently, nearing the entrance into the kitchen. 

Hiro was just around the corner, his mother couldn’t see him, and he couldn’t see what Haru was doing. But Haru fled after she said that. Why? Hiro had no clue. He caught a glimpse of his twin’s eyes, and they were glassy, shining with crystalline tears. Emiko was not far behind. She stepped out, shuddering and walking back to the living room before sitting down, Atsumu wrapping her in a hug. 

Hiro ducked into the kitchen again, cleaning up the sticky Yakult residue still left over. It stuck stubbornly to the ground, and Hiro snorted in disgust.  _ Stop reminding me of myself. I get it. _

He wanted to scream. 

* * *

“Haru? Is that you?” 

Mom.  _ What does she want? _

“...” Haru couldn’t speak. The words were stuck in his throat. Choking him. He was choking. 

He fled too. 

Back up the stairs. 

_ Getoutgetoutgetout _ . 

Back to his room. 

_ Getoutgetoutgetout _

Back to his bed.

_ Getoutgetoutgetout _

Choking. Sobbing. 

He choked on his sobs. 

_ Why did he want to talk to me?! _

The laughs started.

Cold. High. Mocking. 

His ears were ringing and everything was roaring and he could hear them laughing. And laughing. And laughing, every single one.

Kaito was laughing. Sachi and the rest of his crew too. But the one in the middle of it, the one that laughed the loudest and coldest and hardest of all, it wasn’t Hiro. 

No. It was Sora. 

Sora laughed at him.  _ Pathetic. I don’t know why I’m even friends with someone as pathetic as you. You almost killed your brother. You should have. _

You should have. 

Should have. 

Should. Have. 

Kaito spoke up next.  _ You didn’t have to say that. Not even close. You don’t deserve to call yourself Hiro’s twin. You don’t deserve him.  _

You don’t deserve him. 

Don’t deserve him.

Deserve him. 

Finally, Hiro. But he wasn’t. He wasn’t Hiro, Haru had to remind himself of that when his brother began to speak, lest he lose himself in his mind’s cruel path.  _ You should have left me to die. Left me like you leave everyone and everything. Like you don’t care. Like nothing matters. Because you don’t care. You don’t matter.  _

You don’t care. 

You don’t matter. 

Care. 

Matter. 

  
  


ShouldDeserveCareMatter. 

ShouldDeserveCareMatter. 

ShouldDeserveCareMatter. 

You don’t. 

You should. But you don’t. 

You deserve. But you don’t.

You care. But you don’t. 

You matter. But you don’t. 

Haru gasped for breath. His lungs were on fire. Or maybe he was. It was too hot. Too loud. Too wet. Too smelly. Too hungry. Everything was too much. 

Or it was too little. Too cold. Too quiet. Too dry. Too bland. Too full. 

He couldn’t think. Too much. Too little. Everything. Nothing. He didn’t know. 

He was choking. Air wouldn’t come. Air wouldn’t come and he was drowning and he was sinking and he was sure he would die if he didn’t just  _ calmdowncalmdowncalmdowncalmdown _ . 

Ringing. He heard ringing. Someone was calling him. Who? He didn’t know. But the ringing only got louder. Everything started to shake. Was he the one shaking? Or was it his imagination?

Finally, he pulled out his phone. Sora. Sora was calling him. Not Hiro, not Kaito, not his parents. Sora. Sora was safe. Sora was comforting. Sora was everything he wanted and needed and craved. Sora was stability. 

Picking up, Haru couldn’t hold back the sobs anymore. He couldn’t hear anything Sora said. It wouldn’t have mattered. He just needed the release. The release of emotions. Of tension. Of  _ everything.  _

Once he began to calm down, he was finally able to hear over the roar of his ears. “Haru, are you okay?”

“I—I—,” Haru still couldn’t breathe. “I’m not,” he choked out. 

“Not what? Not okay?”

“Mhm,” Haru was still crying. The tears hadn’t stopped. But he could breathe again. He could breathe and he wasn’t drowning and he was safe and he was  _ alive _ , so very alive that it hurt. 

He started to laugh. First, at the outrageousness. He was alive, even when his body screamed that he was dying and shutting down and nothing and everything was too much. 

But then he laughed because “I miss you,”

Silence on the other end. Haru froze.  _ IfuckedupIfuckedupIfuckedu— _

“I miss you too,”

Haru sighed, relieved. “It’s been a long two months...I-I miss you so, so much, Sora…”

“I miss you too. But it’s nice to talk to you. Are you feeling better? Were you able to talk it out?”

“No...and no. H-Hiro’s kinda set on ignoring me….”

“Do you want me to talk to him?”

“N-No, it’s fine. I’m fine.”

“Haru, you’re not. Your breathing is uneven...Did-Did you ha—”

“Two. I had two and I’m still not okay and I’m not leaving my room right now. Hiro’s outside...I-I can’t talk to him…”

“Why not? You were fine…”

“I was. Then he said...h-he said... _ God,  _ I can’t say it…”

“Just text me...But only if you want to,”

“Okay…”

**Haru, what’s wrong?**

**He said “I should just die. Why can’t I die?! It’s better than** **this!”**

**I left after that**

**Had a panic attack**

**Now he’s home and I had another one**

**That’s when I called you?**

**yeah.  
it sucks. **

“Oh, Haru...I’m so sorry,”

“S’okay...well. Not really. But I’m calm now...I-I might try again for a snack, but I have no clue if anything’s going to happen…”

“All right, just keep me posted,”

“Okay...talk later?”

“Sure,”

He hung up.  _ I hope he’s okay. _

* * *

She wanted to scream. That much, Atsumu could clearly tell. Emiko was shaking next to him on the couch when she returned. Hiro and Haru were both upstairs and Hitoshi was taking a nap in his bedroom as well. 

It was just the two of them.

Emiko picked up a pillow, in her delicate, small hands. She took a deep breath and buried her face in it, muffling a scream. 

“Emi? Babe? Feeling better?”

Her grey eyes were red-rimmed and tears were already creating a wet patch on the velvet pillow, the same slate grey of her eyes. 

“No, I’m not feeling better,” she sighed shakily. “I-I feel worse, Atsumu. Everything is going horribly. Haru’s having panic attacks, which he never gets. Hiro’s distancing himself from everyone, all over again. And Hitoshi’s stuck in the middle. He’s just stuck.  _ We’re _ just stuck. We’re just stuck and I’m so scared...”

Atsumu opened his arms, “C’mere, Emi,”

They hugged each other close and she cried and cried and cried in his arms. Atsumu wasn’t ashamed to admit he shed some tears over his children himself. They were all hurting, and hurting each other. 

_ I just want them to be okay.  _

* * *

_ I just want to be okay. _

Hiro was curled up beneath his bed, where it was safe and no one could get him and he could block out the world and just cry and cry and cry until his tear ducts ran dry. He needed the release. He needed  _ Kaito _ .

He reached into the pocket of his soft blue hoodie, which was swiftly becoming soaked by his tears, searching for his phone, before clicking Kaito's picture to call him.  _ Please pick up _ .

He was sobbing as he heard Kaito on the other line. Kaito was saying something, but Hiro couldn't hear it. Not that it would have made sense over the muddled mess his mind was anyways. All he could hear was crying. Then, crying and retching from the bathroom next door. It only made him cry harder.  _ Haru is hurting and it’s my fault. Always my fault. _

Until the jerk. His legs twitched, slamming into the edge of the bed as he lay there underneath it, curled up in a sort of half-fetal position. 

"Shit," he whispered, fresh tears streaming down his face. 

“H-Hiro, are you okay?" said Kaito worriedly. "Do we need to do more breathing exercises?”

"N-no... I ju-just hit my leg…”

“How?”

“J-Just a random twitch... I think I'm fine, now..."

“Okay....well that’s better than what I thought." said Kaito. "A-Are  _ you  _ okay, though? You’ve been crying since I picked up,”

"No," admitted Hiro, fiddling with his hoodie strings. "I- I haven't been okay since this whole thing started! Everyone hates me, and- and you're the only one who's keeping me stable..."

“I-I don’t know whether to be flattered or concerned by that..." replied Kaito. "And what do you mean? I-I thought you said that everything was gonna be okay?”

"They pulled the 'I'm not mad, I'm disappointed' card...So-so I just left and I tried to help Haru 'cause he spilled Yakult in the kitchen b-but he just told me to leave...and I can hear him throwing up in the ba-bathroom right now...i- I just need to leave, everything i-is getting too much..."

“Hiro, I wouldn’t advise that. You sound like you’re in a lot of pain. Have you even been taking your medicine? Don’t lie to me, please.”

"Of course I haven't taken them..." scoffed Hiro brokenly. "I-I barely even take my antidepressants now! But I can't be here! Be-being here isn't helping...The bed just isn't helping...Nothing is helping..."

He trailed off, simply letting the silence speak for him.

"Y'know..." he said shakily. "The- the trampoline i-is just below my win-window... I could jump, it's not that far down... 20 feet isn't so bad.."

“NO." said Kaito, his voice rising fearfully. "Hiro, you already broke your leg when you tried that last time! Here’s what's gonna happen. You’re either gonna break it again, break your other leg, or break your neck. Either way, you’re not gonna be able to walk. I-isn’t the back door right under there anyways? Couldn’t you just go through there?”

"Yeah.. yeah the door is uh- just under my window..." said Hiro. Mulling it over, he said, "I'll have to be quick though,"

“Do that, then." said Kaito. "Bring a bag and  _ take your damn meds! _ Just take the back way to my house, I'll be waiting towards the end of the alley near the main road..." he trailed off, unsure of what to say. "Y-You'll be okay, everything will be okay,"

“O-Okay...I’m scared...r-really scared." said Hiro. He could still hear loud noises coming from the bathroom, only they were now interspersed with broken sobs. "H-Haru’s throwing up next door, I can hear it and it’s my fault. I-I just really wanna leave...”

"I'm sure it's fine," said Kaito reassuringly. "Sora texted me saying he was talking to Haru, he'll be okay...Sora can worry about him. We can worry about  _ you. _ Just pack some stuff, it'll be easier once you're out of the house..."

“Okay...okay. P-Please wait for me...I’ll see you soon. Assuming I don’t eat shit in the alley first...and um, I'll take my meds once I get to your house…”

"You know I'd save you! B-But still, Be careful, Hiro...”

"Okay, okay...I will. Bye Kaito..."

“Bye, Hiro,”

He hung up and sighed.  _ Time to hatch an escape plot. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> predictably, Hiro is dumb  
> I hope you enjoyed the talk between Sora and Haru, he really needed the impartiality of Sora in order to relax.


	14. I’m Breaking Down (Reprise)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Haru and Hiro continue having breakdowns

Hitoshi bolted up the stairs. Mommy was crying and Daddy said Hiro-nii was crying too. So Hitoshi wanted to go and fix it. He ran to his bedroom, pulling out one of the “care packages” he had pushed under his grey toddler bed. 

Stopping in front of the blue door just across the hall, Hitoshi asked, “Hiro-nii, you okay?”

"I-I’m fine Toshi! Just- just crying..." said Hiro brokenly. 

“Then you not okay! You crying!! Can I come inside? I-I has present!!” said Hitoshi hopefully. 

"No.. not right now...” said Hiro. Hitoshi deflated. “B-But I'll get it in the morning! I promise!"

“But you said that last time!! Please! I wanna see Hiro-nii!”

Hiro sighed and opened the door a little bit so Hitoshi could see. “Well? You can see me,”

"Yay! I do see you Hiro-nii!"

"I see you too, Toshi," Hiro had a sad smile on his face. His face was wet, too. Still wet from crying. 

"I miss you Hiro-nii," said Hitoshi sadly. “You don’t want your present?”

"No-Not now, Toshi. I-I don’t feel good. And I-I miss you too...I'm sorry I was mean to you...I love your picture. I miss you and I miss Haru...s-so I'm going to go leave...j-just for a little bit. Th-then everything'll be okay..."

He began to shut the door gently. Hitoshi, however, did not feel that it would be okay. He tore down the stairs. 

“MOMMY! DADDY!" he shouted. Careful not to trip on anything, the three year old barreled into the living room. Emi looked up from the couch. Her eyes were still red. “Toshi...what's wrong, baby?"

"Hi- Hiro-nii said th- that he was gonna leave! And that he would be back soon! But- but I don't want him to leave! I want him to stay!"

"Leave?! Baby...where?"

"He didn't tell, but he- he said that he missed me! And- and he hugged me and said that everything would be otay..."

"W-Well...let's go talk to him. May-Maybe we can fix it?

"I-I don't know... Can I has a hug?"

“Of course, Toshi,”

Emiko picked up her youngest boy and wrapped the fidgety brunette in a hug. "Atsumu! Check the backyard!" she shouted as she went up the stairs. Their motion-sensing lights had randomly gone off. 

"What? Wh—HIRO!"

Hitoshi gasped, struggling to get down. “Mommy! Hiro-nii left!”

“M-Maybe not yet, baby. Let’s go back downstairs to see what Daddy found,”

Atsumu came back inside, frowning deeply, hair windswept and hands buried angrily in his shorts. “He left out the gate on the right side, the one that goes to Kaito’s house. I think that’s where he went, but I have no clue,”

Hitoshi tugged on his father’s shorts. “Daddy, I think Hiro-nii was talking to Kaito-nii. I heard him.”

“Heard him?” asked Atsumu. 

“Yeah. Kaito-nii was on the phone,”

Atsumu squatted to Hitoshi’s eye level. “So you think he went to see Kaito?”

“Mhm…”

“Th-Thanks, Toshi. Go upstairs, your mom and I have to discuss some things,”

“Okay! I go with Haru-nii!”

* * *

Haru had been throwing up for the past ten minutes. Since Hiro had fled, Haru locked himself in the bathroom, unable to stop his stomach from its many attempts to violently empty itself. He hadn’t stopped throwing up since then except to cry. But he had no tears left to cry. Just nausea. 

He heard a small knock on the bathroom door. “Haru-nii, is you here?” asked Hitoshi. Haru sniffled, opening the door. 

“T-Toshi, what do you want? I-I don’t feel good...”

His stomach grumbled again and Haru had to lean against the door for support, feeling faint. 

Hitoshi licked his lips and looked up at his brother. “Is you sick? Do I get Mommy? Or Daddy?”

“N-No, are Mom and Dad even here?” asked Haru, bending to his brother’s eye level. 

“Mommy is inside, but Daddy is outside! Mommy’s calling Kaito-nii’s Tou-san, and Daddy is looking for Hiro-nii...”

“Okay...”

“B-But Mommy and Daddy said I s’posed tell them if you sick! I hear you throw up! So you sick!”

Haru smiled ruefully.  _ I wish I was sick.  _ Making his way shakily to the sink, with Toshi hot on his heels, Haru rinsed out his mouth and cleaned his face. 

“L-Lets just go lay down, Toshi...” said Haru quietly, leading his brother to his bedroom.

“Okay! Be careful Haru-nii. I put present in front of your door!” said Hitoshi excitedly.

“A present?"

Haru stopped in front of his door, staring at the small box with a messy scrawl, reading, "Haru". He picked it up and walked inside, sitting on his bed. Hitoshi clambered up next to him, excitedly giggling, "Open it!"

Haru did. He started to cry.

"Oh,  _ Toshi _ ..."

"What, Haru-nii? I do bad?"

"No, no. You did good, Toshi...really good."

The box was filled with fresh Yakult, and mandarins, and gummies, and even had some more of Hitoshi's drawings, a mosaic of multicolored paper, a veritable rainbow of love from a three-year-old. But the one that stuck out the most to Haru was simple. Particularly childlike, though no less kind or sweet. 

A stick figure with two blue dots for eyes received the volleyball, and the next sticky note had a stick figure with a red shirt setting the ball across to another stick figure in a blue shirt. The figures weren't labeled, but it was clear enough who they were.

Haru smiled and picked up his little brother. His throat was clogged with tears, and he let a quiet sob escape as he wrapped himself around Hitoshi. "I love you so much, Toshi..."

"I love you too, Haru-nii!! No crying, please!! A-Are we gonna go sleep now?"

"Yeah bud, we need to get some rest... Hopefully Hiro's okay..."

“Hiro-nii will be okay! Don’t worry! I worried about you!” said Hitoshi. "I be back! I gotta change!"

Hitoshi scuttled away to put on his pajamas, and Haru simply opted for the simpler "strip-and-wear-a-big-hoodie-and-underwear" option. Snuggled in Sora's warm white and black Schweiden Adlers hoodie (another one he'd stolen from his best friend), he waited patiently for his little brother.

Hitoshi came back, armed with extra blankets. "So we stay warm!!"

"Thanks, Toshi..."

Hitoshi cocked his head confusedly as they lay down to sleep. "Haru-nii, Why you sad? You and Hiro-nii are sad but Mommy and Daddy don’t know why...it makes me mad. I want you to be happy again! But you not telling me stuff! You think I’m baby! That’s why you won’t tell me...but I'm not baby. So tell me why you sad! Then I fix!”

Haru snorted wetly. "Well...I- I'm the reason Hiro-nii got really hurt, and he got super sad because none of us have been really nice to him..." he said, snuggling his little brother. "But he hasn't been very nice either... So he's been going to Kaito-nii's house so he can get better, without being yelled at,"

“Oh...why he being not nice? He gets more yelled when he’s not nice. So he should be nice and he won’t be more yelled!" said Hitoshi seriously.  _ God, he's so cute...but so oblivious. _

"But Haru-nii, how did you hurt Hiro-nii? Hiro-nii said he did it...was he lying?”

"Yeah he was lying. I said something really nasty to him, and that's why he jumped and broke his leg,"

“Oh. Haru-nii, you should say sorry! But Hiro-nii should say sorry too! You both were not nice. But I love you lots and lots and it’s okay! I forget you! Wait...not forget. For-For...” His face was turning red with concentration. "I can't remember!"

"Oh...you mean forgive?"

Hitoshi lit up. "Yeah! I forgive you! And I forgive Hiro-nii! I love you lots! Did you like my pictures? Mommy says I did really good!! But Hiro-nii got mad and said they was dumb...but it’s okay! I'm three! I not good at spelling yet!”

"It's great buddy... An-and I'm sure Hiro doesn't mean that, y'know he loves your drawings,"

“But he was super mad! I made a drawing for him and he got mad too! Or maybe he’s mad that you have to share...I don’t know...”

Haru rolled onto his back, looking up at the ceiling. "Maybe...I-I don't know a lot right now either, Toshi..."

"That's okay...sleep now!"

Haru looked over at the clock and snorted.  _ Almost midnight _ . He folded his glasses, setting them on his bedside table, next to a collage of pictures of himself and his family and friends, what Toshi had dubbed his "Special People".

"Yeah...sleep. G'night, Toshi, I love you."

"G'night Haru-nii...I love you too."

* * *

Kaito anxiously paced in the backyard. “C’mon, Hiro...”. His gaze was focused on the far left corner of the backyard, where a bunch of bushes hid the trail Kaito and Hiro frequently used to visit each other’s homes. Though it was a short walk, it was dark and dangerously slippery. Many sharp rocks littered the ground, as did the occasional pothole. 

Kaito was worried that Hiro would fall and hurt himself again.  _ He’s so close… _

His breathing was uneven as he fiddled with his black hoodie strings, trying them into complicated knots to calm down. 

Finally, someone broke through the trees and Kaito’s face broke into a smile. “Hiro!” he whispered, scurrying across the backyard to catch his boyfriend.

“K-Kaito...” breathed Hiro, painting with exertion . “Oh, God...I hated that...b-but I couldn’t go without seeing you. N-Not after all this...”

“I know...shh, let’s go to my room. I’ll piggyback you,”

“Thanks...”

Hiro smiled and leaned against Kaito as he was carried up the stairs. Kaito gently lowered Hiro onto the bed and set Hiro’s crutches on the floor out of sight. Hiro sighed, absolutely exhausted. 

Kaito’s bird, Cheeto, lightly snored in her cage and Hiro giggled. “She’s adorable...”

“But not as adorable as y— _ hide _ ,”

Before Hiro could say another word, Kaito covered him with a blanket, laying gently on top of his smaller boyfriend. 

_ Dad, please don’t notice.  _

Akaashi opened the door, checking on his son. “Everything okay?”

Kaito smiled, though his hands itched to tie knots in his hoodie. “Y-Yeah, everything’s fine...d’you need anything?”

Akaashi’s blue eyes surveyed the room.  _ Please don’t notice. Please don’t. _

“No...” Seeming satisfied, he stopped. “No. Everything’s fine. Please don’t stay up until three in the morning again. Remember, midnight on weekends. You need the sleep.” But before he left, he whispered something that chilled Kaito to the core. “And be less obvious,”

Kaito could hear the blood rushing in his ears. It was loud, torrential, as if someone had opened the floodgates into his ears. “Y-Yeah...good night, Dad,”

“Good night, Owlet. I love you,”

“Love you too,”

Akaashi shut the door without another word.

Hiro was shaking when Kaito rolled off of him. “Oh, God, that was terrifying. Even scarier than the back way...”

“I know,” whispered Kaito. “That was...weird. Really weird. But I don’t think Dad’s gonna tell Tou-san, he’s not a snoop,”

“I-I know...but that was still sca—oww,"

“Are you okay?!”

“I-I don’t know. My everything hurts...physically...emotionally...i-it hurts,”

Hiro sighed and rubbed his legs. “Wh-Why’d I have to upset him?”

“Your dad?” asked Kaito gently. 

“N-No. Haru. He...he had three panic attacks today...and they were all my fault...I’m so shitty,”

Hiro started to cry softly, curling up as best he could on Kaito’s bed. Kaito gently rubbed his boyfriend’s back. “Hey, hey, look at me. It’s not all your fault...a-and did you bring your medicines? I know you haven’t been taking them...even your antidepressants. Or your pain meds...I don’t like seeing you hurt, Hiro...”

“I know, I know...I-I’m sorry. They’re in my backpack...t-top right pocket. Inside flap.”

Kaito scooped up Hiro’s blue backpack, searching for the bottles. 

He pulled out two small white bottles, passing them to Hiro. “These?”

“Yeah...”

“Good. I’ll be right back with a snack and some water. Just stay here, okay?” Kaito gently kissed Hiro’s forehead. 

Hiro giggled softly, “Thank you, Kaito,”

“Of course,”

Now came the time to be careful. Padding softly down the hallway, Kaito was careful to be as silent as possible. He could hear the TV running in his parent’s bedroom, but a quick listen to the door didn’t reveal anything alarming. 

_ Safe _ . 

Kaito hurried to the kitchen, scooping up a bottle of water and two glasses along with some cookies, precariously balanced on a tray. Bokuto sleepily padded in. "Hello, Owlet,"

Kaito's hands slipped, nearly sending the tray to the floor. "H-Hi, Tou-san, bye Tou-san!"

"Bye...?"

Kaito could feel the blood pounding in his ears as he climbed back up the stairs. Opening the door with his shoulder, the fifteen-year-old sighed, grateful to have escaped without alerting more suspicions. "Hey, Hiro...I got your water,"

"Mm...but I don't want to take my meds," whimpered Hiro, curled up in pain.

"I know, but I don't like you being in pain, Hiro...please?"

“Okay...what’s that?” asked Hiro, leaning up off the white velvet pillows scattered over Kaito’s bed. 

Kaito blushed, looking down at the small tray in his hands. “I wasn’t sure what to grab, so I got you some cookies I made. They’re blue. I-I know you like them,”

“Thanks,” said Hiro quietly. Slowly working his way through the plate of cookies, Hiro lay with his head in Kaito’s lap, admiring Kaito’s sleeping pet cockatiel. 

“She’s cute,” he mumbled absently. 

“Not as cute as you,” said Kaito quietly, rubbing Hiro’s side. 

Hiro blushed, stuttering, “Really?”

“Mhm,”

Hiro sighed happily. 

Once Hiro finished his cookies, Kaito said, “C’mon, you said that you would take them after you ate..."

Hiro whined, "But I hate them...they make me tired and when i get tired is when my brain decides 'hey! now is a great time to remind you about everything shitty you’ve done to Haru because you're petty’...”

"Hiro, you need to take them!” said Kaito. “I'll distract you, and you're very not shitty in my opinion!"

"You’re my boyfriend, you’re supposed to say that,” giggled Hiro, accepting the chalky pills from Kaito and quickly swallowing them. “B-but a distraction would be nice...”

Kaito cheered, “Yay! I'm a very good distraction, probably because I'm constantly distracting others and myself!”

“Yes, yes you are,” replied Hiro fondly, laying back against the pillows. 

They stayed like that, idly chatting about anything and everything. Anything to keep Hiro happy and free of pain. As the clock neared one in the morning, Hiro drifted off, still wearing his hoodie, still snuggled into Kaito’s warm side. 

Kaito himself did not fall asleep until nearly four in the morning, but his defense was that he was scrolling through his phone, collecting silly videos for Hiro. Hiro would need the laughs.

* * *

Haru yawned and rolled over, coming face-to-face with a smaller version of his own face.  _ Huh?! Oh, Toshi.  _

Haru smiled and snickered to himself for forgetting about his brother. He lightly kissed his brother’s soft, smooth forehead. Hitoshi continued to snore lightly, curled up in a small sideways ball, and he didn’t even stir at the kiss.  _ Perfect _ . 

Though he was starving, Haru didn’t want to go outside. Outside was dangerous. Outside meant he’d be exposed. Outside meant he’d see Hiro again. Outside meant he’d have to talk to his parents. Outside was bad. 

Haru did want to stay inside. Inside was safe. Inside was not exposed. Inside meant he’d see Hitoshi again. Inside meant he’d only have to talk to Sora. Inside was good. 

But, it was already nearing 8 in the morning, and Haru’s stomach hadn’t stopped its rhythmic rumbling, informing Haru that he needed to find something to eat, and quickly at that. 

Haru looked around his bedroom to see if he had anything he could eat and not leave his bedroom for. But sadly, he found nothing. He had already eaten the gummies and mandarins with Hitoshi the night before, there was nothing else to eat in his room. He couldn’t sneak over to Hiro’s bedroom to find a snack either, Hiro had also run out of snacks to hide in his room. 

He had to go outside. 

Haru groaned, displeased, and began the slow process of detangling himself from Hitoshi’s iron grip without waking the 3 year old. Hitoshi was strong, and Haru didn’t want to hurt his brother, or worse, wake him up. Then he’d  _ never _ go back to sleep. 

But his attempts were successful, and Haru smiled and pressed another small kiss to his brother’s temple. He smiled in his sleep. 

After doing some stretching, Haru picked up his glasses from the bedside table, and squinted as his eyes adjusted to not having to squint to see. Pulling on the matching black and white shorts to his Adlers hoodie, Haru opened his bedroom door, making his way downstairs as quietly as possible. 

_ Safe _ . 

Emiko and Atsumu were nowhere to be seen or heard or felt or smelled. There was no one to scare Haru as he fetched himself another four mandarins for breakfast. He would take half, and Hitoshi would have the other half. He knew how much his little brother adored the small, rotund fruits. 

On the way up to his bedroom, he scooped up his phone from its charging berth. No new messages from Hiro. His parents hadn’t sent him anything either, and Sora was silent, presumably since he went to bed so early. 

But Kaito had sent a text. 

Six to be exact. 

Haru needed to read them. 

**Hey haru**

**Hiro’s ok @ my place**

**not ur fault so dw ok?**

**we miss u**

**hope ur ok**

**lots of hugs**

**Thanks Kaito...**

**ofc**

**dont blame urself**

Smiling slightly at the kindness and consideration of his other best friend, Haru retreated to his room. Hitoshi still snored on the bed and Haru crawled in next to him, peeling himself a juicy mandarin. He had enough now to be safe. 

No one could come back and hurt him. 

No one could come and make him feel bad. 

No one could stop him. 

He could just be.

But it didn’t last forever. As much as he wanted it to, there were still other matters to attend to. Like twin brothers that needed to be picked up. Twin brothers that needed to apologize. Twins that didn’t want to talk to each other. 

He knew his parents would make him and Hiro talk it out. But as long as he stayed inside, he could hold it off as long as he needed. That’s all he wanted. 

To be left alone. 

He’d come back eventually. 


	15. I’m Breaking Down (Second Reprise)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hiro and Haru continue their respective breakdowns. Yet again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a bit of a shorter chapter this week, but we needed to slow down and breathe a bit, haha

“Hey, Hiro, wake up,” said Kaito gently. 

“Hmph... No...” whined Hiro, tugging Kaitos purple covers over his head, trying to block out the sunlight. 

Kaito snorted fondly and pulled the covers off his boyfriend’s head, ignoring the younger male’s squawk of protest. “Sorry babe,” he said fondly. “Tou-san said your dad’s on his way,”

Hiro whined again, displeased. “Why? I don’t wanna leave...gimme back the blanket,”

“You have therapy, remember? Or you’re not gonna get to play,”

“I hate therapy though,” sighed Hiro, finally accepting defeat and sitting up. “And Dad shouldn’t even want me around after what I did last night,”

Kaito cocked his head, confused. “Hiro, why do you think that? Honestly...Atsumu-san isn’t mad at you. Tou-san said Atsumu-san thinks that he messed up. Not you,”

  
  


"I've always been the screw up,” sighed Hiro. “Mom and Haru barely talk to me and Sora doesn't want to either... After everything, I wouldn't be surprised if I ruined my chances at having my normal life back. I-I have you though," he said, smiling slightly as he wrapped Kaito in a hug.

But it didn’t reassure Kaito. 

Hiro’s hair was all messed up and poofy, filled with tangles where there had been none before. The bags under his eyes seemed to be only more prominent now than before. 

It unsettled him. 

“Babe...you’re not a screw-up,” he said gently, kissing Hiro’s forehead

Hiro melted into his touch, but he didn’t smile, “Yeah I am, I’ve accepted it already...”

Kaito took a deep breath, steadying himself, lest he explode and cause Hiro more suffering. “No,” he said firmly. “Miya Hiroaki, look at me,” Tenderly, he shifted Hiro’s face to gaze into his boyfriend’s grey eyes. “You won’t listen to your parents or your brothers, but you listen to me anyways...So please listen to me and what I’m about to tell you.”

He took Hiro’s hands in his own, and kissed Hiro’s forehead gently. “You’re not a screw-up. And if you won’t do it for yourself, do it for me, please. I-I don’t want you to not be able to do what you love...please take care of yourself,”

Hiro blushed, cheeks turning a deep red. “I-Okay...I’ll go for you...and myself, I guess,”

Kaito beamed. “Thank you, Hiro. I love you, you know that? A-And I’ll come over a bit after. With some cookies, all right?”

“Okay...I-I love you too,” said Hiro. 

“Good. You should get dressed. Atsumu-san will be here soon to pick you up. I’ll see you after,”

Kaito smiled and kissed Hiro again.

It didn’t help. 

Especially because Hiro started to cry as soon as he entered the bathroom. It was a signal that he would no longer be safe today. _But really, when have I ever been safe?_

He couldn’t find an answer.

* * *

Hiro sighed when he got into his father’s Subaru. He didn’t want to go to his physical therapy appointment, but voicing that desire when he’d been so rude to his father before this seemed cruel and vindictive and like it would only hurt them. 

He wanted to curl up and hide, but that wouldn’t work inside their car. There were no places he could hide, it was too d. So curling up it was...how he hated to do that. 

Cuddling his unbroken leg to his chest, Hiro stared sullenly ahead. When they finally pulled into a free space, Hiro resigned himself to the impending doom and drudgery of therapy. 

At least he didn’t have a breakdown when Atsumu opened the door.

 _That’s good_ . _Or not. Depends._

He had run out of tears in the bathroom. Sobbing and brushing teeth did not go together and would only lead to panic attacks when one choked on their own spit. 

He didn’t want that. But he didn’t want to go inside for therapy either. 

“I don’t want to, Dad,” he said quietly, taking his father’s steady hand and rising to his feet. 

“I know, Hiro, but you have to,”said Atsumu, just as soft. 

Hiro made a distressed sigh and Atsumu gently nudged him. “Hey, we can get lunch after if it makes you feel better. How about that?”

Hiro nodded. “P-Please...I’d like that. I feel like I-I’ll have a panic attack if I go home right now....”

“All right, get this done then and we'll go out, okay?” 

Hiro could feel his father’s gentle hug and he melted into it, whispering, “Thanks Dad,”

_Maybe I will be safe…_

* * *

_I don’t feel safe._

Haru hid inside his bedroom, too afraid to come out. He’d nearly thrown up in the shower already, which would have led to yet another panic attack. He didn’t need more stress today. _Or ever._

Even though Hiro was physically gone, Haru couldn’t escape the presence of his twin. It was like static in the background, like a string that was the slightest bit out of tune. Something so minor, yet so essential.

But before he could stew any longer, he heard a gentle knock on his bedroom doorframe. “Haru? I made lunch, just for the three of us,” said Emi, standing in the doorway with a soft smile. . “I know you didn’t eat much for breakfast…”

Haru yelped, surprised that Emi was there, “Oh, uh. Th-Thanks...I’m not really hungry though,”

“Just eat something, okay? It doesn’t have to be much,” she said. 

Haru gave it an apprehensive thought. _I should probably eat._ But his stomach turned unpleasantly at the thought of eating right now. 

Emi continued, “I just don’t want your stomach to be empty. I know you’ve barely been eating.”

Haru winced and his stomach rumbled in assent to her words. _Did she really have to tell me?_

“O-Or you could just come down and sit with us too,” she offered as an alternative. “We just don’t want you stewing in here all day,”

“M-Maybe? I don’t know…”

Haru sighed uncomfortably, running his fingers through his black hair, the action soothing for him. 

“Please, baby?” asked Emi. 

“F-Fine…”

Haru opened the door, following his mother downstairs. She was dressed formally, in a grey pencil skirt and white blazer, likely for work later. Haru felt out of place next to her, though they were still at home. He was wearing his red Nekoma hoodie and some shorts he’d found in his drawer. 

“Wh-What did you make?” asked Haru cautiously. 

“Some rice and some soba,” answered his mother, puttering about the kitchen. 

“Um...Okay. I-I'll have some rice,”

“Okay, that’s fine. I just want you to have something besides mandarins,”

“Fine, that’s fine...”

Haru sat at the table, tapping the wood under his fingers boredly. Hitoshi had woken up while Haru was busy showering and was currently feeding Bear her breakfast. 

He turned around, smiling at Haru like the same in miniature. “Hi Haru-nii! You better now?”

Haru stopped tapping his fingers, mulling over how he wanted to answer. “A bit...” he murmured. 

“Oh...want a hug?”

“Yes, plea—“

But before he could finish his request, Hitoshi was already hugging him as tightly as he could. Haru smiled, feeling better and more clear-headed already. “Thank you, Toshi,”

“You welcome, Haru-nii! Now eat!”

While the two boys had been hugging, Emi had served them breakfast. As they tucked into their meal, Haru said, “This is really good, Mom,”

“I help too,” Toshi interjected proudly. “I make mandarins all by myself!”

“And Toshi,” acknowledged Haru, smiling at the other two occupants of the table. “This is tasty. Thanks,”

“Yay!!” 

Hitoshi was bouncing excitedly in his seat, watching his older brother and mother eat. Haru glanced at him, a small smile palting at his lips, “What’s got you so hyped up?”

“I good! Haru-nii, you play with me? Smash?”

_Ah, he wants to play. That’s why he’s all hyped_

Haru pursed his lips, thinking _. It doesn’t feel right without Hiro, but it’d be mean to turn it down._ “Sure...” he said, deciding to humor the three-year-old

Hitoshi frowned, though. “Oh...you sad again. You don’t want play? We can nap!”

Haru blushed, stuttering, “No, I’ll play, its fine. I shouldn’t sleep right now anyways,” _Or I’ll get nightmares again._

“Okay. We play something else? You no want Smash?”

“No, no, Toshi, Smash is fine,” said Haru, trying to calm his worried little brother. 

“Then why you sad? Mommy, Haru-nii sad, right?”

Emi nodded in agreement. “Yeah, are you sure you’re okay, Haru?”

Haru shuddered, a wave of nausea threatening to drag him in. “I-I don’t know...I don’t. I-I just don’t want to be around Hiro right now...but it feels weird to not have him here either...” He started to cry softly. “I-I just don’t feel good,”

“Oh baby...I-I know it’s weird not having him here,”

“Th-That’s not the problem though,” said Haru quietly, head in his hands to stave off the worst of the nausea. 

“Then what is the problem, the real problem? You and Hiro haven't exactly been open about this...”

Haru snorted. “ _That_ is the problem. I-I don’t know why it feels so wrong. B-But I’ve tried to apologize and he just ignores me! And i-it hurts...and then he gets mad because I’m ignoring him too. H-He thinks I hate him...and that doesn’t make any sense.” He laughed dryly, absolutely exhausted. 

“I don't think Hiro has ever made sense,” admitted Emi. “But this whole thing is very complicated...A-And I-I'm just so so sorry that you two are going through this...”

Haru put his hand on top of his mother’s, saying, “S’not your fault, Mom...I never should’ve said shit,”

He made a move to leave the table, but Emi held his hand tightly. Haru couldn’t bring himself to let go. 

“No, that's not how you're ending this conversation...” she said. “Talk to me, please..? Hiro won't, your dad barely tells me how he feels about this, so please talk to me, I want to listen..."

Haru’s throat was tight, but he obeyed. “Fine...b-but not here...can I get some more? I’ll tell you after I’m done, I-I promise,”

She bowed her head in thanks. “Of course,”

Haru sighed, tense and uncomfortable on the grey couch. His mother sat down next to him, gently giving him a reassuring hug. 

“Baby, c’mon, sit down. Tell me everything,”

Haru bit his lip, uncomfortable with having to tell his mother. He didn’t want to tell her, but that was less because of her being his mother, and much more because he didn’t want to tell anyone. 

_I should feel like shit anyways_

Emi picked up on her son’s discomfort and said, “Y-You don’t have to tell me a lot...”

Haru laughed hollowly. “I-I don’t even know where to start, Mom,”

“Well...then tell me what you think is important. It doesn’t matter if it’s all jumbled up, as long as you get it out of your system,”

"I-I miss Hiro...I want him to talk to me b-but every time I do he ignores me and-and gets mad that I don't talk to him..." said Haru quietly, sniffling and holding back tears. 

“And it’s bothersome, right? I-I know it bothers you a lot...” said Emi gently. “D’you want me to tell him?”

"M-Maybe...” said Haru. “I don't know, I don't even care at this point. I just want him back..."

Finally, he couldn’t hold it back anymore. He started to cry into his mother’s chest. Haru could feel how his mother was carding her fingers through his hair, and he latched onto that feeling of comfort as tightly as he could. 

“Shh, shh,” soothed his mother. “It’s okay, Haru. It’s okay,”

“Wh-Why does he have to be so difficult?” blubbered Haru, snot and tears mixing as they rolled down his face. 

“I don’t know baby,”

“Was Dai-oji this bad?”

Emi bit back a snort. “In some ways, he was worse,” she said dryly. 

“H-How? Hiro’s already a huge mess,”

“Uh, well...He never slept or ate, and he smoked a lot to comfort himself...and when he lost all his energy, he’d pass out and not wake up for at least two days...”

“Dai-oji smoked...? Although I guess it’s not all that surprising...”

Haru was especially shocked, as his uncle was always adamant that his children were never to smoke. _Although that could explain it._

“Yeah,” said Emi. “I was the only person who knew about it until Baba found out...I don’t think Osamu even knows...”

“God,” snorted Haru. “He’s a mess...b-but Hiro’s not like that. Not entirely,”

“I agree,”

They trailed off into silence. Haru was still crying with his head in Emi’s lap, and she was still carding her fingers through his hair. 

“C-Can I have a hug?”

“Of course, baby,”

Haru cried himself to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next week is the final chapter and after that, the epilogue!! I’m so excited for you all to read it!
> 
> As always, we love comments so please let us know what you think!


	16. Healing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys are finally there. Healing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We really hope you enjoy this chapter!

_ Another terrible therapy session. _

Hiro hated therapy. It was painful and they asked too many questions. No, just because his father was the Miya Atsumu did not mean that he wanted to play setter. That was Haru’s job. And then some people would ask about him. They’d wonder how it happened. How he’d been hurt because he just couldn’t ignore what Haru had told him. That Kaito wouldn’t date a coward like him. 

Well. He’d done it. He’d gotten his boy too. They were all wrong.  _ Haru _ was wrong. 

The realization left Hiro with a strange feeling. Satisfaction, yes, but something deeper lurked just underneath. He’d worry about it later. 

But his lunch with Atsumu at Onigiri Miya hadn’t done much to help his strange mood. It was nice to know at least one parent didn’t hate him, but he still wasn’t sure about his mother. Or his brother. 

So when they pulled into the driveway and went into the house, Hiro was a bit annoyed to see his mother already on the sofa. He didn’t want to talk to her and get into a worse fight. He just wanted to calm down first. 

But she smiled gently, so softly and lovingly at him and Hiro knew it was washed away. She wasn’t angry with him. “Hi baby,” she said gently, “How was therapy?”

Hiro frowned and sighed. “Bad...I want cookies. Is Kaito here?”

“He came in a while ago while your brothers were asleep. He should be upstairs right now,”

“Can I go up?”

“Of course, but be careful on the stairs,”

“Fine, fine. Uh, where’s Haru?”

“On the couch,”

Hiro approached the other sofa opposite from his mother, frowning and poking Haru in the side. “Is he asleep...? Again?”

“What do you mean again?” asked Emi warningly. 

“Nothing, nevermind,” he sneered _. I knew I shouldn’t have come back _

But before he could leave, Atsumu interrupted them both. “Hiro, you are not doing this to your mother,”

Hiro froze, startled by his father’s outburst. “Wh-What do you mean?” he asked, confused. 

“You keep ignoring her, even when you ‘made up’,” Atsumu made air quotes at that, “You only regularly talk to me. And you’re being rude to her when she does talk to you...Wh-Why are you like this right now?”

“I-I don’t kn—whatever,” Hiro scoffed and limped upstairs. He wanted Kaito. 

* * *

Hiro quietly padded down the hall, careful to avoid the particularly slippery wood panels with his crutches. Opening his blue door with a nudge, Hiro smiled when he saw Kaito. 

“Hey, Hiro,” said Kaito cheerfully, peeking out of the small ‘gaming cubby’ in Hiro’s room. 

Hiro smiled at his boyfriend and pecked him on the lips. “Hey, Kaito. That’s...what number is that?”

“Uh...fifty-six? I think, I dunno. Fifty-something,”

Hiro giggled and sat down on the biggest of his blue beanbag chairs, propping up his foot on another one. He lazily snatched one of Kaito’s sugar cookies, devouring it as he asked, “Want to play Smash? I-I know we didn’t get a chance to do that together last time,”

Kaito beamed, “Of course! You know I love playing with you,”

“Same here. Playing with you is really fun,”  _ I need a distraction anyways. _

After plugging in his Switch, Hiro smirked and said, “I’m gonna kick your ass so hard, Kaito,”

“Not if I do it first!”

But as the game went on and on, and the plate of cookies grew emptier and emptier, Hiro found it harder to distract himself and prevent Kaito from noticing. Kaito gently rubbed circles into his back and Hiro looked at his boyfriend, furrowing his eyebrows. “Is something wrong?”

“I dunno...but you’re mad, babe. Why? Did the cookies not help?”

Hiro blushed. “No, no, no, they were really helpful! Thank you,” He squeezed Kaito’s other hand reassuringly. “It’s not that. I-I upset Mom and Dad,”

Now it was Kaito’s turn to be confused. “Why? I thought everything was fine,”

“It is...I think. I-I was just being rude,”

“Oh...”

Kaito picked up the last cookie, splitting it in two, and handing Hiro the larger half to nibble. Mouth full of sugar cookies, he asked, “D’ya want to talk it out?”

“S-Sure, I guess. Nothing much else I can do about it,”

Hiro nibbled morosely on his half of the cookie, debating what to say, before finally starting with, “I-I wanted to talk to Haru but he was sleeping and I got mad and I lashed out at Mom...she didn’t even do anything, I was just being rude...but at least not as rude as before, so that’s a good thing...?” He trailed off, unsure. 

“Okay, but why’d you get mad?”

“I don’t even know...I was annoyed at therapy ‘cause it sucks and they ask too many questions, and then Haru being asleep just made me mad, I wanted to talk to him. I know he didn’t do it on purpose, but i-it felt like it, sorta...”

“Oh...”

“Yeah,”

They stayed in silence, both mulling over what to do. 

Kaito cleared his throat, “So, um. Do you want to play more? Or, or we could see if he’s awake yet, too,”

Hiro fiddled with his hoodie. “Um, we could go downstairs, I guess. I still don’t have anything up here anyways. We were supposed to go shopping when Dad got home that day and, well. We didn’t,”

“Sure, sure, c’mon,” said Kaito, helping up Hiro with a smile. 

Hiro smiled back as they made their way downstairs. Until they heard crying. Hiro pulled Kaito behind the wall, his grey eyes blown wide with fear. 

It wasn’t just anyone crying. 

It was Haru. 

* * *

“D-Do you think Hiro hates me?” Haru sat at the dining room table, crying into his hands.

Emi rubbed his head gently. “No, baby...He may be angry a-and hurting but he could never hate you...”

Haru sniffled, taking a napkin from the table and blowing his nose. “It doesn’t feel like it...He blames me...or he should anyways. It’s all my fault,”

“Maybe so,” said Emi, gently taking the used napkin and handing her son another one. “But he never has the heart to hate anyone. Well, besides himself, but that's not the point...” She laughed hollowly, shaking her head. 

“That’s what you think...” muttered Haru. “He hates me. He hates me, that’s the only way any of this even makes sense.”

But now it was Atsumu’s turn to look confused. “Haru, what do you mean ‘that’s the only way any of this makes sense’?” he asked worriedly. 

“Th-The only way to explain his behavior is that he hates me...”

“Are you sure that’s the only explanation? It couldn’t be just that your brother is a bit stressed and not handling it well?”

Haru nodded, still crying. He had never felt this bad. “H-Hiro's stressed all the time and is never like this! You  _ know _ that, Dad! He's always at least said something to me...a-and now he doesn’t...”

“Oh...” said Atsumu, receding into himself, ashamed. Haru squeezed his father’s hand tightly. “Dad...s’not your fault, okay? It was mine. I never should have said shit to him that day...but I still did it and we’re all messed up now. I-I always have tried to apologize...from the first opportunity,” he sniffled, remembering the incident, and how he couldn’t stop apologizing because that scream wouldn’t go away until he did. 

“H-He’s just never taken it...th-the only reason that could be is that he hates me. I-I’ve said it point blank and he thinks—he thinks I’m mocking him. Oh God, I really am a shitty twin...”

Haru’s sobs began anew. 

He heard a clatter from somewhere behind him, and two thin arms wrapped him tightly in a hug. The arms began to shake with someone’s sobs. Hiro’s sobs. 

“Wh-Why are you hugging me?” 

“Be-because you're a stupid no good dumbass,”

“I know that.,” said Haru hollowly. “You yelled at me for that...f-for being stupid. And-And...just. Why? You hate me...you hate me and I can’t f-fix i-it, oh, fuck...”

Peeling off Hiro’s arms, Haru ran to the bathroom down the hall, intent on throwing up. He landed in front of the toilet, where he let instinct take over, and his mind free. 

_ Now I know why Hiro thought I was mocking him...he’s probably doing it to spite me now.  _

But before he could travel down that path any further, a soft voice asked, “Haru?”

“Wh-What,” said Haru between retches. 

“I—“ Hiro stuttered. 

“Just spit it out,”

Hiro took a deep, shaky breath, “I-I don’t hate you,”

“Yeah you do,” 

Someone else spoke up. Kaito.  _ When did he get here? _ “Um...Hiro...I think he’s still thinking of how you were acting earlier...”

“Y-Yeah, Kaito?“ said Hiro. 

He addressed both boys. “Y'know I should be the person who decides who I hate... B-but I'm sorry.” He started to rub gentle circles into Haru’s back. “I was really mean...I-I was mad, a-and I still am a bit...but I'm sorry,”

Haru still couldn’t believe it. This was the exact opposite of how Hiro had been acting since the beginning. “Y-You’re not lying to make me feel better?” asked Haru shakily. “I know you do that all the time, Hiro...act like you’re fine, but you’re dying inside, or so goes that vine you quote...”

“N-No Haru, I’m not lying to you. I-I really am sorry. Truly, even if I do feel like complete shit I could never hate you, not ever,”

Haru started to mull it over. “F-Fine...” he said. But he still felt unstable, like he was about to fall through the cracks, and this was barely keeping him on the ground. 

“I-I’m sorry too...” he said. “This...this was all my fault. If I hadn’t said all those shitty things, y-you’d be okay...”

Hiro pulled Haru into another hug. “It’s fine,” he said. “And I forgave you a while ago...i-if you don't forgive me...that's fine...b-but I don't hate you, a-and I am sorry, I really am,”

“No...no...God, Hiro...th-that’s—thats...” Haru was shaking. The words were stuck in his throat. He couldn’t speak. The tears would choke him before the words did. 

He grabbed Hiro in the tightest hug he could possibly give, trying with all his might to convey the simple emotion of gratitude. 

Hiro hugged him back just as tightly, whispering, “I forgive you, I forgive you, I forgive you,” gently in his twin’s ear. 

Kaito joined the hug, lifting both boys to their feet. “And I forgive you both, so no hating each other anymore,”

“I can do that,” smiled Haru. 

“Me too,” Hiro said, kissing his boyfriend. 

Kaito helped Hiro limp back to the living room while Haru washed up. He was so happy. He finally felt okay. For the first time since that chilly April morning, Haru felt like himself again.

* * *

Haru gave Hiro another hug, sandwiching between Hiro and Kaito. Hiro offered a small smile to his brother, who smiled back. His parents smiled too. 

“Worked it out, I see,” said Emi. 

Haru nodded, “Y-Yeah...I think we’ll be just fine,”

“Good, we’re proud of you boys,” said Atsumu. 

Hiro blushed and stuttered. “Y-You really s-shouldn’t, haha…”

Emi smiled and said, “Just take the compliment, baby,”

“O-Okay…” said Hiro, still blushing crimson.  _ I’m such a dork “A _ -and I’m sorry to you guys too, I was really shitty and I have no excuse,”

“We forgave you a long time ago, Hiro,” said Emi gently, kissing Hiro’s forehead. 

“Mhm, it’s okay, Hiro,” said Atsumu. 

Hiro was getting choked up again. “Th-Thank you,” he said hoarsely.  _ That’s all I wanted to hear _ “Thank you so much,”

But before they could get any sadder, a little brunet boy came barreling down the stairs, with Bear trotting behind. 

“Yay!! Hiro-nii, you home! I napping, so I missed you!”

Hiro sniffled, still trying to stop the sobs. But he was happy. “Hey, Toshi,”

“Can I give package now?” asked Hitoshi excitedly. 

“Yes! Yes, please!” 

“Yay!!”

Hitoshi left without another word, giggles bouncing off the walls. 

“I’ll get dinner started,” said Emi, stepping out with Atsumu to give the boys some privacy. 

“Thanks, Mom,” said the twins. 

“Thank you, Emi-san!” smiled Kaito. 

“Of course,”

They left after that, but that was exactly when Hitoshi returned, arms full of handmade presents he’d made. 

Dumping a very large pile in front of Hiro, he said, “For Hiro-nii,” 

Hiro smiled, and began to cry again. “Th-Thanks so much, Toshi,”

Toshi giggled and put two slightly smaller piles in front of Haru and Kaito. “Purple for Kaito-nii and red for Haru-nii!”

“Thanks, bud,” smiled Kaito. 

“Yeah, thanks Toshi,” said Haru. 

“Of course! Hiro-nii, stop crying!”

Hiro started. “Oh, Toshi...I-I’m happy crying, not sad crying,”

“Oh...then cry lots!!”

Hiro laughed, hugging his little brother. He was so happy. He finally felt okay. For the first time since that chilly April morning, Hiro felt like himself again, too. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next week - the epilogue!


	17. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> and finally. the end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all SO MUCH! Please enjoy!

Suzuki Naomasa needed a drink. Preferably a strong one and  _ now _ at that. The Miya family always forced him to seek the habit, something his coworkers often teased the twenty-six-year-old for. He sighed deeply, closing his eyes. He and Hiro had been taking a break from therapy for the past few weeks at Hiro’s request, saying that since he wasn’t progressing much, but that  _ clearly  _ did not work. 

Nao puffed his dyed white fringe out of his eyes, looking at Hiro ruefully. 

Hiro squirmed under Nao’s analytical gaze, mumbling out a, “Sorry…”, face flushed red. 

His eyes kept flickering over to the volleyball poster on the wall, the one he had given Nao when he was eleven. It had been an apology gift for the first time he’d had a panic attack in Nao’s office. 

Naomasa looked back at the poster and sighed sadly. “You don’t need to apologize Hiro. We need to work this out.”

Hiro wilted further, scratching at his leg under the boot. “O-Okay...but do we  _ all _ have to be here?”

Naomasa nodded. “This is bigger than just you. Your parents and brothers contributed to your breakdowns as you contributed to theirs.”

Hiro bit his lip and avoided everyone’s gaze. Emi and Atsumu kept their eyes focused on Naomasa and Haru focused on Hitoshi instead. No one looked at Hiro either. 

Naomasa was disappointed, though not the least bit surprised by this. The Miyas thrived on mutually avoiding emotional discussions (something Naomasa noted that they needed to work on, especially as he could see signs of something being up with Atsumu and Haru, though he filed it away for later consideration.)

Usually, Hiro was better than this, but something was clearly up. He wasn’t acting like himself, even when he avoided taking his medicine as he was supposed to, he wasn’t this weird. So Nao needed to know what was wrong. Preferably before he got drunk.

“Explain,” he said simply. “You don’t have to mince words, just tell it straight,”  
The ghost of a smile appeared on Hiro’s face, and he and Nao shared the same in-joke, “I’m gay, how do I tell you straight?” 

As hard as it was to bring down the mood more, Nao straightened up in his chair and rubbed his cheek; “Ahaha, I uh..I don’t know kid, but you still gotta tell me one way or another.” 

“Hmph...Haru said a bunch of shit and...and I just wanted to make him shut up for once, so I-I went along with it…”

“And almost  _ died _ ,” said Haru quietly. “You almost died and i-it’s all my fault,”

“Haru…” said Emi cautiously. “Please. Don’t start arguing with Hiro about whose fault this was, because it was both of your faults.”

Naomasa winced slightly, though he agreed with the twins’ mother. 

The thought of it being both of their faults made Hiro scoff. So what if Haru had just said “Some shit”, that part was minuscule compared to all of the stuff Hiro had caused during this period of their lives. He had broken his twin beyond repair.  _ He  _ was the cause of every single one of his twin’s panic attacks.

“It’s clearly my fault… I-I’m the one who jumped, I-I yelled, I wa-” Hiro paused, “I am the problem.”

Haru made a choking sound. He turned away, burying his face in his Schweiden Adlers hoodie. Everyone gave him worried looks, though it only seemed to increase his levels of distress. Even Hiro looked concerned. He reached out a hand cautiously, rubbing his brother’s head, the only way he knew how to calm Haru down.

But he flinched. Haru flinched and Hiro drew his hand back in tandem. Now Hiro really knew that he was in the wrong, normally even if Haru was upset with him he’d at least take the minimal comfort Hiro could give back. 

_ “I-I’m sorry…”  _ Hiro’s voice was barely above a whisper. “Please...please, I’m sorry.”

Haru started to cry softly. “I should be apologizing…”

  
  


“No you shouldn’t, e-everything-” Three out of the six people in the room gave Hiro a stern look, “A lot was my fault... y-you didn’t do anything besides tell me the truth.” The brown-eyed boy curled up the best he could with his still booted leg, “I-I am a coward…”

He swallowed. “A good-for-nothing  _ coward _ . I-I can’t even kill myself properly!”

Haru flinched violently, letting out a soft keen. How he wanted to yell at Hiro for this. Hiro wasn’t the coward here, he had actually  _ tried _ . A coward wouldn’t even think about actually trying to kill themself, something Haru knew for a fact.

“Pl-Please…” he said softly. “Please don’t say that.”

Toshi finally spoke up. “Uh-huh! I-It bad if you die, Hiro-nii! Please don't die…” 

Hiro let out a hum of acknowledgement, but he didn’t agree. Trying to get them to see everything from his point of view was pointless, they’d never understand his constant need for relief through his own demise. 

The Miyas would never be okay as long as Hiro was still around, a topic that Hiro was very adamant about being correct and justified on. “Mhm, sure... bad is one way to put it,” he finally said. “But it’s okay if you’re all happy. You deserve to be happy.”

“And you don’t?” challenged Atsumu, finally speaking up. “Bud...I can’t just let you not be happy, none of us can.”

Atsumu’s oldest child looked up to meet his father’s eyes. “I haven’t been happy in years… pretty sure that’s a damn good sign that I don’t deserve to be happy, Dad.”

Behind them both, Haru continued to cry softly, burying himself in his mother’s side. She hugged him close and how Hiro craved to be that calming presence for his twin once more. But he wasn’t. Not anymore. “I-I mean...Dad, I fucked up your trophy kid. Your successor.” 

Haru cried harder. 

“S’not like it matters what happens to me, ‘m not getting anything outta this. I-I mean, I fucked up everything for everyone, and you’re all telling me that it’s fine! You’re j-just lying to yourselves at this point i-if you think I-I’m worth all of this shit!” 

Hiro broke down too, finally letting the tears stream down his face. At least...at least this time when he sought reassurance from Haru, he wasn’t met with resistance. The lack of response was equally concerning though. Haru hadn’t moved from his position, curled into a ball on the velvet couch.

Nao looked up from his notes, eyebrows creased into a thin line, a look on his face that said he was more than disappointed. He wasn’t sure whether to hug or strangle his patient. Yet again, Hiro had left him speechless. “Goddamnit Hiroaki…” he mumbled, rubbing his temples. 

“If you weren’t worth your salt, if you really were just a piece of shit, none of us would be here.” Nao set his papers down on the side table next to his chair. “Especially not me. But I’m here, aren’t I?” 

He strode over to Hiro, wrapping the younger boy in a hug.

Hiro squeaked in surprise but acquiesced and melted into the embrace.”You’re loved and you are wanted, even if you think you don't deserve it, you do. It’s also not up to you… you don’t get to decide if you’re worthy of love, love is something people feel towards you, it’s not something you earn.”

Atsumu nodded slowly behind him. “I know it’s not easy, Hiro. I-I know. But we won’t stop loving you. All we ask is that you love yourself too.”

Hiro turned around, eyes glassy. “M-Mom? H-Haru? T-Toshi?”

Emi looked up, finally drawing her attention away from her two other children. She had always tried to make sure that her children were loved and supported, but clearly she had failed with Hiro. The boy was broken, as was his father and brother from both pains known and unknown. She should have been better, been a better mother and helper to them, but she wasn’t, at least in her eyes.

“Baby...oh baby,” she said wearily. “I’m sorry too. This...none of this was just your fault.” Hiro whimpered, his heart hurt. It never felt right, but his relationship with his parents was broken and hearing them apologize (at least for some of their actions) was enough to make his walls fully crumble. The apology left him completely open and raw.

His desperate need for love and affection had brought him to this. From being ignored, to being loved by a person he didn’t know, and now into a position where he knew nothing. Not what his parents were thinking, not what his therapist was thinking, not even what his  _ twin _ was thinking.

It was hard being broken while everyone else stood by in bliss... well maybe not bliss, but something better then where he was. At least none of them had ever tried...he had to remind himself of that. They were all better than him. That was probably why this all happened to him. Being left behind by the people he wanted, no  _ needed _ , to love him had brought him here. To an office in the middle of Tokyo, laying down on a couch, staring at the plain white ceiling while trying his hardest not to hyperventilate. 

Pushing himself up, Hiro made a mad dash to one of the nearby bathrooms. He needed to throw up.

* * *

Haru needed to throw up. He sobbed on the couch, curled as tightly as he could. But even that contact didn’t help him. He just wanted everything to go back to normal and Nao understood that pain. He felt the same about Kichiro...though talking about his dead little brother was hardly appropriate right now. He’d save the story for later.

Nao sighed once again, he saw the need to go after the now missing twin in Atsumu’s movements, but at the same time, “I wouldn’t suggest doing that Miya-san,” he said. “I understand you want to go comfort him, but that might do more harm than good right now,”

Atsumu swallowed and sat back down, hands shaking. He felt as if he was failing Hiro _ again, _ by staying. He was failing and failure was not an option here. Emi had Haru in her lap, rubbing his head in soothing circles, and he was just sitting there waiting for something to happen. Doing nothing.

“It’s not nothing,” said Naomasa sagely. “This will allow us all to reflect on everything that’s going on and  _ has _ been going on since this mess started.”

His brown eyes twinkled wickedly, “In fact. I’d like to discuss what you four felt during all of this.”

Hitoshi spoke up again, all sunshiney and innocence. “It was very bad,” he said seriously. “Hiro-nii cried lots and Haru-nii cried lots too. Then Haru-nii threw up lots and Hiro-nii slept lots! Hiro-nii was bleh a lot but he’s not bleh anymore. Kaito-nii maked him happy! B-But I feeled icky,” confessed the three-year-old. “Hiro-nii sad lots so he no happy when I tried make him happy…”

Hitoshi sighed and snuggled Emi. “And Mommy feel bleh too.”

Emi nodded and sighed, kissing Toshi’s forehead, “That’s one way to put it, baby. That’s definitely one way.”

Nao smiled softly at the young boy, “Well I’m glad that you know how you were feeling through all of this, that’s a good skill to have. Hitoshi.”

The three-year-old beamed proudly. 

The white haired man then turned to Emi, “And what about you Emi-san? What does being “bleh” actually mean?”

Emi sighed. “Well...being ‘bleh’ as Toshi put it...it was ignoring Hiro a lot. He said some things that I doubt he’s proud of to Atsumu and I, an-and I ignored him after those comments. I didn’t want us to fight again and we fight constantly. We were both so exhausted an-and I just gave up on him...I just couldn’t take it anymore. D-Does that make me a bad parent?” she asked weakly. “C-Cuz it feels like it does.”

"You two are good parents, but there needs to be more work on both ends.” said Naomasa. “You can't give up on Hiro, that's not fair…”

Atsumu and Emiko both nodded, shamefaced. 

Naomasa continued. “He wants so badly to be loved by you two and to give up on him is showing him that you don't love him enough to care. Because he sees how you are with Haru and Toshi, and he wonders why he can't have what they have,”

Haru shifted uncomfortably, the couch rumbling as he buried his face into his mother’s side again. The unmistakable sound of soft crying filled the room as Naomasa thought of what to say to best alleviate the crisis. “But at the same time,” he finally said. “I honestly cannot blame you for how you’re feeling. And at least you know it’s bad. That’s a start. I need you to work more on being close with him, and I’ll work on making sure he fights less with you as well.”

Because he knew they weren’t bad parents, not even bad parents to Hiro. They were just struggling. But they were  _ trying _ and that was so much more than most of Nao’s patients’ families ever did. 

They were just trapped. With nowhere to turn to in order to heal themselves, an unhealthy cycle was created, one that Naomasa was determined to break. He just needed the catalyst. 

* * *

And right on cue, the boy of the hour limped back inside. He sighed and lowered himself onto the couch, taking Emi’s other side in a hug. “Hi, Mom,” he said quietly. 

“Hi, baby,” said Emi gently, kissing Hiro’s temple. 

Hiro smiled shyly at his brothers and father. Atsumu opened his arms for a hug. “C’mere, bubs,” he said gently. 

Hiro melted into the hug, letting it speak when words couldn’t. Haru and Emi and Hitoshi joined the hug, surrounding Hiro on all sides.

Yes, it was suffocating. But it wasn’t bad. It...it felt like home. 

He was home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That might be the end of this story, but we're just getting started. Look forwards to more stories of Nekoma 2.0 in the new year.
> 
> Thank you all for the kudos, hits, and comments. We would be lying if we said this didn't make us happy. This brought us joy during lockdown, we hope it brought joy to you all too.
> 
> Trixie & Ellie


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